Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

So I’m not the sexiest man alive?

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Boss, you got a minute for a private chat?

Sure Lamar, what’s up?

I’m kinda depressed. “People Magazine” just announced its “Sexiest Man Alive” choice for this year, and once again, it wasn’t me.

I can see where that would be a blow to somebody with your unusual looks, Lamar. Who got it this time?

Some actor named Bradley Cooper.

It keeps goin’ to guys like George Clooney, Matt Damon, Harrison Ford. Some of them have won twice, and I can’t even get it once.

Do these guys look all that great to you Boss? Seems like they only give it to famous people.

When superstars shoot on location…

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I can’t believe they have the nerve to call this dump a supermarket!

But Ms. Jolie, this isn’t America. Things are different over here.

Really? Things are SO different that I can’t even buy Budweiser or Velveeta for Brad? What the hell are we supposed to live on?

Well, maybe you and Mr. Pitt could try some other kind of processed cheese product while you’re working here, Ms. Jolie….

To goofinity, and beyond!

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I try very hard to invent high-quality fantasy stuff for my blog, but sometimes I just can’t compete with reality. For instance, I could never make up anything like this actual science story:

LAS CRUCES, New Mexico (Reuters) – A start-up space company building inflatable habitats for commercial and government lease has laid off half its staff because of delays developing space taxis needed to fly people to the outposts, the company president said on Wednesday.

Great mooseum! I’ll be back!

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Blog Guy, I need some of your famous travel advice. I love visiting the childhood homes of great people, to see where they got their start.

I’ve been to Mark Twain’s home in Hannibal, Missouri, the house where Louisa May Alcott grew up in Concord, Massachusetts, Reverend Martin Luther King’s birth home, in Atlanta…

I left my part in San Francisco?

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Blog Guy, I always come to you for my news about the movie industry. What’s my favorite actress, Halle Berry, up to these days?

She’s shooting a movie on location in Glasgow, Scotland.

Ah, so I guess this is another Glasgow movie that’s SUPPOSED to be Philadelphia, like that Brad Pitt zombie movie you wrote about recently?

It’s just like in the disaster movies!

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Boss, can you hear me? It’s me, Johnson! Oh, it’s still night-time in LA? Sorry to wake you up, but I’ve got great news!

You remember you sent me to scout around for the next big “King Kong” sort of movie?

Scottish zombies get silly in Philly?

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Blog Guy, I saw a bunch of photos of a zombie movie being made, with Brad Pitt, and it looked like it was in Philadelphia.

So?

But I live in Philly, and I haven’t seen any film activity here. What’s up?

Von Trapped with no way out?

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What’s wrong, Blog Guy? You look very frightened and upset.

I am. A neighbor told me about an event involving Nazis and dog bites and bee stings and…and…maybe yodeling.

That sounds vicious. What is this thing?

You know that 1965 Julie Andrews movie, “The Sound of Music,” about a woman who works for a naval officer in a land-locked country as the governess for his hundreds of obnoxious children?

You’re a mean one, Mister Grinch…

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Man, I hope this guy is proud of himself.

But let me back up a minute.

When I was a boy, there was a Disney movie about a plucky little terrier who went to Edinburgh with his master, who then died.  The dog kept a 14-year vigil at his master’s grave, passing away himself in 1872.

Watching this as a child required more tissues than I could even carry into the theater. The movie was called “Greyfriars Bobby, the True Story of a Dog.”

Rewriting Jane, an Austen-tatious move

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Blog Guy, I read that a handwritten draft of a Jane Austen book that was never published just sold for $1.6 million at auction. The story said it was an unfinished work. She’s my very favorite author!

Yeah, I know all about that. I was the anonymous telephone bidder who bought the draft. I’m eating barbecue ribs and reading her manuscript right now. It’s not bad.