Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Holy moly! Nonstop Jolie!

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Blog Guy, you often write about Angelina Jolie. Has her new movie had its premiere yet?

Well, I can only speak for Berlin, Paris, London, Moscow, Seoul, Tokyo and Hollywood. I know it has premiered there because we moved photos of her at each place.

RUSSIA/SEVEN cities? That’s very generous of Reuters, free publicity-wise. How does that compare with your coverage of the endless Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz odyssey recently to promote their new move?

So far, Jolie is one city ahead of them.

And why is it newsworthy every time she shows up in a different city to plug the same movie?

It’s time to share the pain…

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Blog Guy, I have a question. I see there is a new strip of options at the top of each blog item, offering your readers a chance to “share” it via Facebook, LinkedIn, Digg, Twitter, etc. Are you guys the first to do this?

Um, not necessarily.

USA/

Oh. Tell me about it anyway, because I don’t get out much.

Well, it’s a chance for me to reach a much wider audience. It could lift my monthly readership numbers from the dozens to say, maybe even the hundreds.

Don’t poke that shark in the eye, Lamar

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As some of you know, a string of shark sightings in recent weeks has rattled swimmers in Massachusetts, and is evoking memories of the “Jaws” movie hysteria.

Officials in the Cape Cod town of Chatham have warned beach-goers to stay close to shore after “numerous” sightings of great white sharks.

You don’t have Cruise control?

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Boss! You’re not gonna believe who I just got a picture of today! I was just pointing my camera lens at a vineyard in southwestern France, and GUESS who showed up?

cruise combo 160I’m going to take a wild guess. Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz?

Right! But what are the chances?

This month? About 100 percent. Just try taking a picture without them while they’re promoting their new movie.

Scents and Sensibility?

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Okay Lamar, we’re up against a tight deadline here if we’re going to launch Jennifer Aniston’s fragrance this week. We came to your ad agency because your team is the best in the business, so what have you got?

Well Mr. Johnson, remember Ms. Aniston turned down several of our proposals already.

We do have some job openings, Lamar

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ASIA-WEATHER/

Mr. Johnson, it’s me. They told me I had to show up in person at the employment office to prove I’m willing to take work. So here I am, what do you have for me?

Ah. Let’s see here, Lamar, we have several slots for workers who can put large stones into bags, lug them out into a raging river and hurl them to reinforce some dikes in a flood.

A dab of Kiwi wax on those Florsheims, Mr. Dracula?

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Blog Guy, I need help. I have an overwhelming fear of being bitten by a vampire. What can I do to protect myself?

You could buy this handy 19th century Vampire Killing Kit that went up for auction in London today.

Comin’ to you, on a dusty road, good lovin’, I got a truck load…

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Blog Guy, I always read your blog for the latest information on movies. There’s a rumor that they are remaking a 30-year-old classic. Any truth to that?

Yes, I think you’re talking about the remake of “The Blues Brothers.”

It only comes with a license to injure?

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Blog Guy, I saw a story saying the famous Aston Martin that James Bond used in “Goldfinger” and “Thunderball” is going up for auction.

You’re too late. I actually had the winning bid. I got every guy’s fantasy car!

Quick, Indy! Jump into my pocket!

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Blog Guy, please help settle a bet with my yoga instructor’s dental hygienist.

USA/How on earth did you even MEET the dental hygienist of your yoga… Oh never mind, I’m here to settle bets. What’s this one about?