Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Out on a limb with Lindsay Lohan?

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Why me, Lord, why ME?

Okay, film production staff, as you know, we signed Lindsay Lohan to a huge three-movie deal and we’re about to begin production. Then, yesterday, a judge ruled that she has to wear this big black butt-ugly alcohol monitoring device on her ankle, 24/7, to make sure she doesn’t drink any booze. It NEVER comes off.

lohan vertical 200So Lamar, hand me those three scripts she’s supposed to start shooting next week. I’m hoping this bracelet device won’t interfere with the story-lines.

Let’s see what we’ve got here. A summer beach romance called “Barefoot in the Sand.” Sigh. A movie where Lindsay plays a ballerina. Groan. And this third thing, “Emma, the Girl with the Really Shapely Ankles.” Crap, this just gets better and better!

Lamar, call in the writers to do some fast rewrites so we have stories to incorporate the ankle bracelet.

Get your butt off the red carpet!

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Blog Guy, please keep up the coverage of that Cannes Film Festival. We love it. I notice you have lots of red carpet shots, and I’m wondering what that particular spot signifies for the celebrities who are there.

FILM-CANNES/Ah, that’s a very good question.

The red carpet symbolizes the last place they can light up one more cigarette and have a few drags before going inside, where they may have to wait a number of minutes before they can light up again. Look, here comes actor Gerard Depardieu, who as you can see is something of a health nut.

Opening a big Cannes of publicity?

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Blog Guy, since you’re writing a lot about that Cannes Film Festival, I have a question. I believe the top prize there is called the Palme d’Or.  How would you describe that?

FILM-CANNES/I’d have to say it’s prestigious.

Really? It’s interesting that that’s the word you would choose.

You’re not listening. I said, I’d HAVE TO SAY it’s prestigious. Apparently it’s our official adjective for it. Look down below, at the caption for this photo of Russell Crowe and Cate Blanchett, taken a week ago.

Now, arriving on the red carpet is…uh-oh…

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Okay, this is SOMEBODY’S  fault, and they’re gonna pay! What went wrong?

I’m SO sorry, Boss! It sounded like a great idea. What a striking sight on the red carpet at Cannes, movie star Naomi Watts, arriving astride the shoulders of a Daphne Burki…

Robin O’Hood, and Little John, the Leprechaun?

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Blog Guy, I read that the actor Russell Crowe  stormed out of a radio interview after suggestions that he had made the quintessentially British legend Robin Hood sound Irish in his latest movie.

robin hood still this 300Yes. A BBC reporter said his impression from Crowe’s performance was that “Robin Hood was an Irishman who took frequent holidays in Australia.”

In Cannes, with the Beautiful People

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Blog Guy, I was glad to see you’re closely following the events at that Cannes Film Festival over there in France. Boy, all the big stars are all there to push their latest movies, aren’t they?

cannes gooding 240Oh, grow up. The big names come to Cannes for just one thing these days, to get noticed by the Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop.

The latest ingenews from Cannes!

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Blog Guy, are you covering that big-deal Cannes Film Festival that’s going on now?

zombie cannes 2 240Sure, if  by “covering” you mean sitting 3,000 miles away from it and looking at our photos and making stuff up, then you bet I am!

I’m running down to the love market, Honey!

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Here is a story idea which Hollywood is going to buy from me for maybe four million dollars, so don’t tell anyone else.

These are ethnic Hmong people waiting for lovers at a “love market” in Vietnam. The captions say that on one day a year, ”married men and women wait for the return of their former lovers with whom they can meet again without jealousy from their spouses…”

And the crowd is going WILD!

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Blog Guy, I love that you are branching out and giving us foreign news, like about that election over there in Britain.

cameron combo 240You said Prime Minister Gordon Brown is running against an Elvis impersonator, but is there anybody else running?

Naked Noon in Saskatoon?

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It is dusk in the cabin. The door opens and a brawny lumberjack enters the bedroom, tossing his mighty ax in the corner.

CANADA/He gazes at a sultry young woman in the bed. She is clad only in flannel pajamas, woolen mittens and a hat with fur earflaps pulled down.