Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Why me, Lord, why ME?
Okay, film production staff, as you know, we signed Lindsay Lohan to a huge three-movie deal and we’re about to begin production. Then, yesterday, a judge ruled that she has to wear this big black butt-ugly alcohol monitoring device on her ankle, 24/7, to make sure she doesn’t drink any booze. It NEVER comes off.
So Lamar, hand me those three scripts she’s supposed to start shooting next week. I’m hoping this bracelet device won’t interfere with the story-lines.
Let’s see what we’ve got here. A summer beach romance called “Barefoot in the Sand.” Sigh. A movie where Lindsay plays a ballerina. Groan. And this third thing, “Emma, the Girl with the Really Shapely Ankles.” Crap, this just gets better and better!
Lamar, call in the writers to do some fast rewrites so we have stories to incorporate the ankle bracelet.
Blog Guy, please keep up the coverage of that Cannes Film Festival. We love it. I notice you have lots of red carpet shots, and I’m wondering what that particular spot signifies for the celebrities who are there.
Ah, that’s a very good question.
The red carpet symbolizes the last place they can light up one more cigarette and have a few drags before going inside, where they may have to wait a number of minutes before they can light up again. Look, here comes actor Gerard Depardieu, who as you can see is something of a health nut.
Blog Guy, since you’re writing a lot about that Cannes Film Festival, I have a question. I believe the top prize there is called the Palme d’Or. How would you describe that?
I’d have to say it’s prestigious.
Really? It’s interesting that that’s the word you would choose.
You’re not listening. I said, I’d HAVE TO SAY it’s prestigious. Apparently it’s our official adjective for it. Look down below, at the caption for this photo of Russell Crowe and Cate Blanchett, taken a week ago.
Okay, this is SOMEBODY’S fault, and they’re gonna pay! What went wrong?
I’m SO sorry, Boss! It sounded like a great idea. What a striking sight on the red carpet at Cannes, movie star Naomi Watts, arriving astride the shoulders of a Daphne Burki…
Blog Guy, I read that the actor Russell Crowe stormed out of a radio interview after suggestions that he had made the quintessentially British legend Robin Hood sound Irish in his latest movie.
Yes. A BBC reporter said his impression from Crowe’s performance was that “Robin Hood was an Irishman who took frequent holidays in Australia.”
Blog Guy, I was glad to see you’re closely following the events at that Cannes Film Festival over there in France. Boy, all the big stars are all there to push their latest movies, aren’t they?
Oh, grow up. The big names come to Cannes for just one thing these days, to get noticed by the Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop.
Here is a story idea which Hollywood is going to buy from me for maybe four million dollars, so don’t tell anyone else.
These are ethnic Hmong people waiting for lovers at a “love market” in Vietnam. The captions say that on one day a year, ”married men and women wait for the return of their former lovers with whom they can meet again without jealousy from their spouses…”
It is dusk in the cabin. The door opens and a brawny lumberjack enters the bedroom, tossing his mighty ax in the corner.
He gazes at a sultry young woman in the bed. She is clad only in flannel pajamas, woolen mittens and a hat with fur earflaps pulled down.