Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

He’s like the Statue of Liberty, only not…

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Cut! Folks, let’s take a lunch break while I talk to the director.

goofy green lantern vertical 160Okay Lamar, what IS it with you? First you screwed up a lavish production of Animal Fair and we had to pull the plug on it, and now this?

How hard is it to make super-hero movie, Lamar?

If they can do Superman and Batman and Wonder Woman and Spider-Man, why couldn’t you handle the cult classic Green Lantern?

Lamar, the REAL Green Lantern fights crime with powers from a magic ring, he doesn’t just pop his eyeballs out and wave cheesy green lanterns at folks!

Your guy looks like you got him out of that Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop, in Washington, DC.

Hey Jack, you got anything for my migraine?

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USA/

Blog Guy, whatever happened to Jack Kevorkian, that assisted suicide guy? He’s in prison, right?

Not anymore. He served eight years but got out a couple of years ago.

USA/Interestingly, he’s the subject of a new HBO movie, “You Don’t Know Jack.” Kevorkian is played by Al Pacino.

The elephant sneezed and fell on his knees…

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SRILANKA/

CUT! Okay, let me see the director RIGHT NOW!

Lamar! I gave you $160 million to make an enchanting live action children’s movie based on that enduring song, “The Animal Fair.” Then I come down here two months into the shoot, and I find this crap?

Relax Boss. It’s all in the song.

Look here at the lyrics, the last line: “The elephant sneezed and fell on his knees, and what became of the monk?” See?

Big yawn on the South Lawn…

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Blog Guy, I see lots of photos of Michelle Obama, reading books to school children. This is wonderful. What better way to instill an interest in reading and story-telling than to get to listen to the first lady. Her children are SO lucky!

horton poster 240Um, maybe. Here’s a shot of Ms. Obama reading “Horton Hatches the Egg” at the annual Easter Egg Roll on the South Lawn of the White House. As you can see, her own daughter can’t quite stifle a yawn.

Action hero bounces a Czech…

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CZECH/

Blog Guy, you know those elaborate fantasy photos you set up for readers? It’s my turn.

Well, you know I only set them up if they’re really weird. Otherwise, they bore me. So what’s your fantasy? You have about 20 words to engage my interest…

Ten stupid things you shouldn’t do with cameras around

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A very famous person writes, “Bob, what can we celebrities do to improve our image? Please reduce your advice to 10 simple rules, because we have other stuff to do.”

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Well, celebs, thanks to my background in damage control and image consulting, I can tell you it doesn’t matter a bit what you do in private, but when there is somebody around with a camera:

On the red carpet in designer gowns and Crocs?

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Blog Guy, as a Hollywood media insider AND a fashion blogger, you must come under intense pressure to publicize all the glitzy designer creations worn by celebrities to the Oscars, right?

Boy, I’ll say. Those publicists are very pushy.

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So how do you handle the pressure?

Well, I’m basically a nice guy, so I try to help them out. For instance, an e-mail came my way trying to publicizeĀ Oscars celebrities wearing Sergio Rossi shoes.

Will the Oscar be decided by looks again?

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Blog Guy, as a Hollywood insider, who do you think will get Best Actor at the Oscars this weekend?

oscars clooney 260 thisI don’t do predictions, but I can steer readers in a useful direction. For years, there has been a tradition that the actors with classic Hollywood good looks lose, and some goofy-looking guy wins.

The poster boy for bad movie awards?

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Jeez, Blog Guy, I’m getting so tired of all these movie awards. Okay, the Oscars are great, but I mean, there’s the Golden Globes, the Critics’ Choice, and on and on and on. What’s the WORST awards ceremony in the movie business?

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I’d have to go with the Cardboard Poster Awards, which were just held a couple of days ago.

Oscars for the arty Havarti movie?

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avatar combo verticalLooking through our photo files, I keep seeingĀ pictures of people wearing special glasses. I should check that out.

Where have you been, Blog Guy? They’re watching “Avatar” in 3D. It’s a blockbuster Oscars contender!