Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Will he have a valet at the chalet?

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Blog Guy, I’ve been closely following the case of that creepy director Roman Polanski, who apparently will be released under house arrest in Switzerland soon, but I wonder if you can clear up some details for me.

Well, I’m no lawyer, but I’ll do my best.

Thanks. So he’s going to be staying in a Swiss chalet, from what I’ve read. Any idea what it looks like?

Yeah, if it’s the one we think it is, there’s a general view of it in this combo shot.

Very interesting. Are there TV cameramen outside the chalet where we think he’ll be going?

If superstars went to the bathroom…

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According to the founder of the World Toilet Organization, the reason people are so reluctant to talk about hygiene is that it isn’t cool. He may have a point.

Television and movies show us what’s cool, and they don’t show toilets. Sure, Fonzie frequently checked out his hair in the bathroom, but you just saw a mirror.

Go ahead, make my jour!

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Blog Guy, I read that Clint Eastwood got a major honor from France on Friday, presented by French President Nicolas Sarkozy himself. Awesome!

Yeah, but Sarkozy tried being an even tougher guy than Eastwood, and got all up in his face like he was gonna punch him. It wouldn’t surprise me if…

Conspiracy, or just Raging Bull?

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“That’s how you tell it’s Joe Lefors, ’cause he always wears a white straw hat.”
- “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid”

Blog Guy, a few days ago a reader tried to tell you about the well-known White Hat Conspiracy, a plot among prominent people who wear white hats to identify themselves to each other.

Test drive the new Inferno!

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Blog Guy, bring us up to speed on the Detroit automobile industry stuff. Remember, the government took over some carmakers and they were going to run the companies and stuff, but then I got really hammered and forgot to pay attention for a few months.

I believe the U.S. government version of the new Detroit models have just been unveiled in an elaborate Detroit ceremony. I saw pictures.

Just call me “Easy Writer”

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Blog Guy, a couple of weeks ago you featured a rebus in your blog. How about another one?

Rebus? You mean that Roman guy who was the brother of Romulus?

No, you dimwit. Not Remus, REBUS!

Oh, you mean Uncle Rebus, that guy with the “Br’er Rabbit” stories.

The world’s cheesiest cineplex?

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Blog Guy, you know the neatest thing about being President? I heard they have their own movie theater at the White House. How cool is that?

It sounds a lot better than it really is. As you can see, it’s a tiny projector and only one person can watch at a time. Here, President Obama shifts impatiently as he and Michelle take turns watching “Zombieland” this week.

Drive! They’ll get out of the way!

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Okay, staff, now you’ll see why we’ve kept our newest movie release under wraps.

We think it’s going to be the surprise smash hit of the holiday season. Who can compete with “Hugo and Muammar’s Excellent Adventure”?

How much extra for naked chicks on the lapels?

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Boy Lonnie, you’ll be sorry you took those days off from the custom tailor shop.

Damn! I always miss the good stuff. Another weirdo, huh?

That doesn’t begin to cover it. This dude demanded huge full-color naked chicks sewn onto his jacket by the lapels.

We’ve said this crap before, haven’t we?

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Arnold: Who is your daddy and what does he do?

Sylvester: My old man, he was never too smart, he says to me, ‘You ain’t got much of a brain…’

Arnold: I remember days like this when my father took me to the forest and we ate wild blueberries…