Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Von Trapped with no way out?
What’s wrong, Blog Guy? You look very frightened and upset.
I am. A neighbor told me about an event involving Nazis and dog bites and bee stings and…and…maybe yodeling.
That sounds vicious. What is this thing?
You know that 1965 Julie Andrews movie, “The Sound of Music,” about a woman who works for a naval officer in a land-locked country as the governess for his hundreds of obnoxious children?
Those kids! Liesl and Hansel and Gretel and Sneezy and Goofy and….
That’s the one. Well, there’s an event coming where they show that movie on a huge screen, and people sing along and wear costumes and stuff like that.
Are there good seats left?
I don’t think they use seats. I suspect they just strap you to a rough post, standing up and facing the screen. I believe they show the six-hour Director’s Cut, complete with 22 additional songs, many of them in German.
Are you ready, athletes? Blow and go!
Blog Guy, you never seem to write much about the sport I participate in, the biathlon.
Sorry, I’ll do that right now. What instrument do you play?
Instrument? What are you talking about?
Sigh. The classic biathlon is a two-part sport. You play a piece on a brass instrument, then you swim 103 miles from Cuba to Florida.
So you’re ALL named Jaydon?
Sometimes I despair for us all. And it turns out those are actually my giddy moments.
An item in the “New York Times” informs us that among the names that have gained the most in popularity in America over the last six years are Jayden, Landon, Addison, Khloe and several others.
The Rhymes they are A-Changin’
Blog Guy, I read in a Reuters story that some previously unpublished lyrics by legendary songwriter Bob Dylan are going up for auction this month.
Yes, it’s an incredible window into the creative process. The lyrics are heavily annotated, sometimes in crayon, so you can actually see how they evolved.
Wouldn’t hanging them be more humane?
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Blog Guy, I read somewhere that you’re an authority on prisoner rehabilitation programs.
Well, yes, but only the really wacky ones that make no sense at all to me. For instance, here’s one where they teach prisoners to play bagpipes.
When the top brass goes to Europe…
Hey Blog Guy, we could use some of your famous travel advice. My brass ensemble is going to Paris, and we….
Are you out of your mind? Don’t you know the French can’t stand brass instruments? You could be arrested before you play a single note.
Karaoke, or torture? There’s a difference?
Hey Blog Guy, I haven’t seen you around the neighborhood for days. Are you okay?
Yes, thanks for checking. I don’t go out during National Karaoke Week, which is going on now.
Gives whole new meaning to “air guitar”
Blog Guy, you know that city in Siberia that you like to call Wackytown?
Yes, Krasnoyarsk. It is the goofiest spot on earth.
I was wondering, do they have a space program?
Indeed they do, and it’s a strange one.
No! Why doesn’t that surprise me?
The folks there wanted to be the first to shoot a guitar into space, and yesterday they succeeded.
A guitar? What’s the name of this program?
“Stairway to Heaven,” I believe.
Hmm. And where did the guitar launch director sit?
At the instrument panel, of course.
Did they have their own launch pad?
You bet, the Stratocaster.
Okay, even you couldn’t make up stuff this stupid. Is rock music getting popular in Krasnoyarsk?
That’s quite an accent you have there…
Blog Guy, I need some of your job-hunting advice. I was working on a résumé, but then I stopped.
Oh, you MUST resume your résumé. Why did you stop?
I needed lunch. I’m eating a clear beef broth and some healthy Japanese soybeans my mom sent.
Maybe you can believe it, if it helps you to sleep…
Blog Guy, I think I’m going mad! I woke up this morning and the radio was saying something about a “U.S. President Taylor.” Who the hell is that?
Where have you been for the last two years, buddy? They were talking about President James Taylor.
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Resident Oddly Enough blog Expert
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