Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Our cakes are CRAP-TASTIC!

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Welcome to what may be the all-time best installment of our popular feature, “Stuff Maybe we Should Have Explained in the Caption, but Didn’t.”

The actual photo caption here tells us this woman is making “cow dung cakes.” That’s pretty much it. Lacking any more information, I must fill in the blanks from my own twisted imagination.

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Dear Ms. Johnson,

I’m afraid our bank will not be able to give you a start-up loan for your unique new venture at this time.

cow dung cakes drop 260We have studied your business plan, and feel that with a Krispy Kreme right next door, local demand just won’t support “Betty’s Yummy Cow Dung Cake Shop.”

Raise your hand if you could use a drink!

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I have to wonder what’s really going on here. The caption says these are U.S. Marines watching as a dude from the Thai Navy catches a cobra with his bare hands during a “jungle survival exercise,” but look at them. They’re chuckling and taking photos!

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Is there some part of “jungle survival exercise” that seems to confuse them? Do they think this is just a Thai ventriloquist act?

Care to join me in a dip?

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Blog Guy, as a professional observer of the human condition, you must feel inspired when you see man at  his very best, reaching for the stars, dreaming his dreams.

Indeed I do. For instance, when men and women give their all  to make the biggest taco or egg salad sandwich or pizza , just to get into the world record books.

The grossest picture of the year so far?

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Blog Guy, I know you hate all those photos of people starved for attention, who take icy “polar bear” swims in the winter. But I heard that during one of those swims, in Canada…

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Let me stop you right there. It’s true, the fabled Eugene “Toilethead” Johnson made a surprise appearance, arriving at the beach by swimming up through a public toilet. A very dirty public toilet, it seems.

Who’s that leeched blonde over there?

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Blog Guy, you’re an expert at fashion and beauty advice. I really need help attracting men. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I’m an attractive blue-eyed blonde, I accessorize tastefully, I…

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Let me stop you there for a minute, honey. There’s a freaking worm crawling across your face!

Want some kaBob? Some kaDave?

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Blog Guy, I’m planning a trip to Russia soon and as a hotshot travel writer you know a lot about different cuisines. So like, in Moscow, is there anything I should avoid?

It all depends on your taste, but for the time being I’d steer clear of cheap kebab places.

I’m famous! Help me!

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Blog Guy, I’m confused…

Of course you are, or you wouldn’t be wasting a nice Sunday on this blog.

Why haven’t you awarded the coveted Celebrity Cry for Help prize for the week?

The worst thing about protest? Take your pick!

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Okay young man, thanks for volunteering, but do you think you have what it takes to be a pro-democracy protester here in Hong Kong?

You BET I do. I have fire in my heart!

That’s the spirit. Because sometimes you may get tear-gassed by police, or maybe even punched and kicked.

Enjoy a nice spider, open up wider!

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Eency Weency spider, climbs up my favorite cup
Along comes this dude who eats the spider up,
Juicy, juicy spider, it meets an awful death,
And off goes the weirdo, Mr. Spider Breath!

Blog Guy, it’s a dreary day. Give us a story from some far-flung place, to enrich our appreciation of other cultures.

That picture is too EXTREME!

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People say to me, “Bob, where do you GET those danged bizarre photos you use?”

I comb our daily photo file, but the weirdest ones are served up to me on a silver platter, in an “Extreme Monthly” selection of shots hand-picked by some really twisted minds on our photo desk. Here are some caption snippets from their latest batch: