Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Ew! No more oatmeal for me, Ma!

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I apologize in advance for this one, since I know a lot of readers, even entire families, enjoy my blog while at the breakfast table.

Still, my logic is this: Nobody shields ME from this crap, so you all may as well see what’s going on in the real world, the same as I have to.

Having said that, welcome to a brand-new feature I like to call, “Hey, I’m Tryin’ to Eat my Hash Browns Here!”

I hope you enjoy it. And if you want to buy poster-size copies of these photographs for your kitchen wall, I’m sure something can be arranged.

My armadillo needs a pillow…

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Blog Guy, I have a recipe for armadillo. Do you know a place to buy good ones?

Sure, I go down to Brazil and get mine from Leonardo’s Armadillos.

Leonardo? Didn’t he used to have a shop in Amarillo?

Yes, but Leonardo’s Amarillo Armadillos got closed down for certain peccadillos.

Say no more, I’ve heard all about those armadillo peccadillos! How does Leonardo sell his armadillos?

That fake blood looks SO real!

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Okay group, the Rome Tourist Board hired us to crisis manage this horrible PR problem in the middle of tourist season. Their security guards are having a job action at one of the most popular attractions, the Colosseum.

Getting those protesting guards to leave the Colosseum could turn very ugly, but we’ve come up with a plan.

Lifestyles of the Retch and Famous?

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Blog Guy, I think you have been too hard on British people, what with those Twit Games and Funny Hat Day and stuff.

I agree. So to make up for it, I went to a cricket match in London a couple of days ago.

Hey, my Raisinets are moving!

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Blog Guy, I went to dinner last night with friends here in Colombia. The  restaurant must have been in a skyscraper, because when we looked down, everything looked like ants!

You were looking at the dishes on your table, and they WERE ants. This is the season when they eat huge ants in various ways in Colombia.

Honey, the guide says they serve IMPORTED rats here!

Quick quiz: Thousands of live rats in Cambodia, shown in crates below, are being shipped to Vietnam to…

a) enjoy a getaway at one of the world’s top rat vacation destinations.

b) be used as Happy Rat Day gifts.

c) take part in a rat exchange which could lead to a foreign exchange program involving real students.

Another bowl of blood, Lonnie!

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Blog Guy, you write a lot about travel. My wife and I need a vacation, but we’re trying hard to lose weight. Vacations always mean wonderful meals, and we come home 10 pounds heavier. How can we break that cycle?

Do what I do. Plan a vacation to Vietnam.

Oh hot-diggity. How does that help?

For dinner in Hanoi, head out to a bistro I know specializing in entrails and blood soup.

It don’t get much worse than this!

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I’m not going to prolong it. The Worst Job in the World title came down to a number of factors – danger, grossness, fecalocitude, etc.

In the end, I had to choose the worst job I happen to have a photo of, and that brings us to the exciting field of elephant proctology.

Do YOU have the world’s worst job?

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It is gratifying to see the response to yesterday’s post about the Very Worst Job in the World. Guesses are still very welcome, and the actual job will be announced at 11 a.m. on Thursday.

With regret, I’ve disqualified all the folks who guessed their own jobs. That’s just too easy. One of those was the guy who edits this very blog. Sorry, I don’t think so.

When life hands you urine, make Urinade!

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A few days ago I blogged about plans to create a soft drink made from cow urine. Seriously. We even discussed ad and marketing uh, challenges to what we dubbed ”Mellow Yellow.”

This was a popular post, I gather because readers want to make damned sure they don’t go out and buy some by accident. So we’ve talked to folks associated with the project and done a video report.