Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Sorry, my travel blogging involves advising folks where NOT to go. It is hard to make a buck in the fast-paced travel game by telling folks to stay home, so I wouldn’t do very well.
“Here you go, sir, this envelope has no airline tickets, no hotel coupons, no restaurant vouchers or day passes. It’s everything you need to not go anywhere. Enjoy, and don’t send me a postcard!” Still, if it helps, here are five so-called tourist destinations where you won’t find me:
Blog Guy, you’re always saying to be careful in choosing a career. I just got a brochure inviting me to check out the world of homemade submarines, and I just don’t see the downside.
See, the words homemade and submarine don’t naturally belong together. Kind of like chainsaw and dentistry, or gyrocopter and, well, whatever. I know Colombia just found a “rudimentary” sub built to smuggle tons of cocaine, but that part actually makes the deal even less attractive! Are you following any of this?
As the song says, kicks just keep getting harder to find. The amusement park industry is having its big convention, and the hot new thrill seems to be dining 165 feet above the ground, at a table suspended by a crane.
Yeah, that’s pretty much what I wondered, too. Who cares? It’s not like you can’t go to the Rainbow Room if you want to dine high up. Heck, you could even sneak a sausage pizza aboard a gyrocopter. It doesn’t take Isaac Newton to guess what’s going to happen when you eat raw oysters and some linguini, washed down by a few beers, and then sit there swinging back and forth, back and forth…
It’s an ill wind that doesn’t fill somebody’s skillet, or however that saying goes. Strong winds in Australia are blowing migrating Bogong moths off-course and into Sydney, and residents are responding by, uh, eating them.
One chef cooks the moths, which are high in fat, in butter. A scientist says to limit your intake, because they contain poisonous pesticides. Whoa! It so happens I’m on a diet right now that calls for fatty foods, chock full of poison and cooked in butter!
Dear Blog Guy,
What’s it going to be today? More pictures of people eating bugs, and frogs in blenders and stuff like that? You must look hard for the very grossest pictures you can find. That’s why I keep coming back.
Thanks, but you’re not even close. If only you knew. In the past few days alone I have opted against using newsphotos showing:
As I was saying just a couple of days ago, on the subject of worm-filled tacos in Mexico, icky food has become a common theme of this blog. And now, here we are at a market in Bangkok, where customers flock like moths to a flame when the insect sellers arrive with fried grasshoppers, water bugs, giant flies, larvae, mealworms and red ant pupae.
Mmmmmm, them’s eats! According to the bug-sellers, insects are low in fat and high in calcium. I guess it turns out I’m looking for more than that in my food, like maybe a lower gag reflex rating. If this all sounds great to you but you can’t make it to the market, you may order this stuff online:
Apparently just serving great food is no longer the preferred way to attract patrons to a restaurant, and don’t even think about presenting a tasteful, romantic decor. If you can’t bother making your place disgusting beyond belief, some other restaurateur will do it instead.
Call me old-fashioned, but maybe there is such a thing as stars sharing too much information with their fans.
Just as a for instance, Elton John was performing in Australia today when he abruptly left the stage. When he returned minutes later, he told the audience he had gone off to throw up.
Jones Soda, the people who make all those vile flavors you’d never put in your mouth, have announced green pea-flavored soda just in time for the holidays.
I’m just hoping the person who thought this up put it in a written memo, because actually saying, “Boss, let’s make pea-flavored soda” out loud sounds, well, even worse than it really is.
This U.S. Marine is enjoying a Bloody Mary, minus the vodka, lemon juice, Worcester and Tabasco sauces, and celery stalk. In other words, he’s drinking – well, you do the math.
This is the latest in our series of postings on times when you probably would rather starve than eat. For more details, check out cricket cuisine, worms on the menu, the animal head restaurant and my favorite, frogs in a blender.