Blog Guy, what is Rod Blagojevich, that former Illinois governor, doing since he left office in disgrace?

Good question. That has been a real mystery, until very recently. It appears he took one of those two-week online matador courses, bought a silly outfit, and is now working as a bullfighter in Spain. I spotted him in a photo from Pamplona.

You’re right! I mean, the governor’s smirk has been replaced by a contemptuous sneer, but I’d recognize that trademark hair ANYWHERE! What was it that first tipped you off?

Well, for starters, this bullfighter goes by the nickname of “El Gobernador.” A coincidence? I think not.

Plus, I would imagine that working in proximity to Chicago’s stockyards must look pretty good on a bullfighter job application, don’t you think?

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Former Governor Rod Blagojevich, of Illinois, in a 2008 file photo. REUTERS/Jeff Haynes

Spanish bullfighter Juan Jose Padilla adjusts his montera (hat) before a bullfight at the San Fermin festival in Pamplona, July 12, 2009. REUTERS/ Susana Vera

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Blog Guy, I heard it was another rough day for the revelers at the running of the bulls.

You bet. Despite the fact that a bunch of runners had already been injured at the Animal Cruelty Festival in Pamplona, one of them fatally, they were off and running again yesterday, with other serious injuries.

Wow. Was there any single low-point?

I was particulary taken by this photo of a guy passing a cigarette to another guy. If you need a smoke when bulls are rampaging through the streets, you may have a problem.

Okay, but I know there must be moments of bravery, too, aren’t there?

Sure. There was Capuchino, the bull who killed one runner and gored three others.

Awesome! I bet he has a place of honor for being such a fearsome fighter! What happened to Capuchino?

He was the first one killed by a matador in the afternoon bullfights.

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Above: A festival goer passes a cigarette during the running of the bulls at the San Fermin festival in Pamplona, July 12, 2009.  REUTERS/Eloy Alonso

Left: Runners are chased by Miura fighting bulls, July 12, 2009. REUTERS/ Susana Vera

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Blog Guy, I’ve been following your coverage of that San Fermin festival over there in Pamplona. So who’s winning?

Sadly the bulls always lose in the end, but I must say they’ve had a pretty good couple of days. In a four-minute running of the bulls today, several people were injured and one runner was killed.

Meanwhile, over at the bull ring, hotshot bullfighter El Cid had a real embarrassing experience.

Check out the photo below. What’s interesting about it is, it’s the only one of a whole series that I can actually use here. Thanks to some pinpoint horn work by this bull, the crotch on the bullfighter’s silly outfit was ripped open, leaving all of his male parts fully exposed to the crowd.

And while it’s not really for me to judge, it didn’t look all that impressive, either.

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A runner is tossed by a Jandilla fighting bull in the running of the bulls at the San Fermin festival in Pamplona, July 10, 2009. One runner (not in picture) died and several people were injured in the run.REUTERS/Eloy Alonso

Spanish bullfighter Manuel Jesus “El Cid” is lifted up by the bull’s horn at the San Fermin festival in Pamplona July 9, 2009. REUTERS/Eloy Alonso

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Blog Guy, I was very interested in your report yesterday on the San Fermin festival, in Spain. May I ask a question about it?

Sure. I know quite a bit about the festival.

Well, I was wondering what it looks like if someone uses a phone at the festival.

Good question! I think it would look something like this photo here.

Very interesting. One more thing. If the woman in that photo was a long-lost love child of actor Dick Van Dyke, calling to say “Daddy, it’s your daughter, I’m running with the bulls at Pamplona!” What would his reaction look like?

It would probably resemble the picture below.

Thanks, Blog Guy. Your resources are simply amazing! I didn’t think you’d be able to pull that one off.

Well, I did get very lucky with that telephone shot.

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Above: Woman talks on the phone during the San Fermin festival in Pamplona, Spain, July 7, 2009. REUTERS/Susana Vera

Right: Actor Dick Van Dyke reacts as he sits courtside at Game 1 of the NBA Western Conference final basketball playoff game between the Los Angeles Lakers and the Denver Nuggets in Los Angeles, May 19, 2009. REUTERS/Lucy Nicholson

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Blog Guy, you do a wonderful job of keeping us up on what the elite are doing. Where is the Smart Set this week, so we can once again envy the lush life?

There’s only one place to find the Beautiful People this week, awash in a sea of red scarves at the San Fermin festival in Spain!

It’s time to run with the bulls, but it’s also a time for chic parties. As you can see here, the Beautiful People are out in force, enjoying fine local food and wine.

You know, I notice that the Beautiful People seem to be doing a lot of retching and puking.

What did you expect? You asked about the lush life, and I gave you lushes.

All of your captions always refer to these people as “revelers.” What does that mean?

I believe the definition of reveler is “somebody you’d never give your real phone number to.”

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Above: Assorted revelers: REUTERS photos

Left: A drunk reveler kneels on the ground as he tries to enter a building before the first day of the running of the bulls during the San Fermin festival in Pamplona, July 7, 2009. REUTERS /Susana Vera

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This time of year I get lots of queries from college seniors asking for career advice.

Often they say, “Bobby, are there any signs I can look for that might indicate I’ve chosen the wrong career?”

Sure, there are quite a few, and you’d be smart to read my past CAREERS posts. But here are a couple of new thoughts:

• If you’re moving at a high rate of speed and there’s a huge fuming bull chasing you, and you’re not drunk and you’re not in Pamplona, then your career counselor owes you or your widow an apology.
• If the ground is moving under you and you seem to be  hanging onto a big sharp horn, and you can feel hot nostril snorts on your leg and there’s a hole in the butt of your fancy purple jammies, maybe you should have thought twice before majoring in Creative Writing and Film Studies.

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Above: Spanish bullfighter Rafaelillo runs after being tackled by a bull in Seville, April 20, 2009.

Below: Spanish bullfighter Sergio Aguilar is tackled by a bull in Seville, April 21, 2009.

REUTERS photos by Marcelo del Pozo

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I’ve posted items recently on the Running of the Bulls in Pamplona. And while I don’t think there is anything very macho about that activity - unless by macho you mean pathetic - I admit it does have some cachet when compared with another event this week.

Toro de Cuerda!! In English, that is “Bull on rope.” Yes. A bull restrained by a rope is allowed to “run” through the mean streets of Grazalema, Spain, while folks hide on handy structures above him. 

I’m not sure, but I believe the participants wear gore-proof clothing and have four-inch-thick safety glass between them and the animal, who for all I know may just be two guys in a bull costume.

Go ahead, try saying this in your most MACHO voice: “Oh, Si! I climbed above the tethered old arthritic bull who wears bifocal glasses!” Not exactly straight out of Hemingway, is it?

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People hold on to a window to avoid a bull during an event entitled ‘Toro de Cuerda’ (Bull on Rope) where a bull restrained by a rope is allowed to run through the streets in Grazalema, southern Spain July 21, 2008. REUTERS/Jon Nazca

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Oh brother, can I pick ‘em or what? On the Internet, this guy seemed so normal, but then I meet him in person…

He told me online he “works with animals.” Yeah. Turns out he tortures them to death!

He also said he’s a snappy dresser. Jeez Louise, he’s got a jacket decorated with 6,000 pieces of unpopped popcorn beaded together! It’ll be fun to see what happens when the intense July sun heats up those kernels out in the bull ring.

At least I had a chance to slather grease all over his sword handle when he wasn’t looking. When he tries poking that thing into some poor bull, Señor Jiffy Pop is in for quite a surprise. 

Spanish bullfighter Jose Prados “El Fundi” adjusts his costume before a bullfight on the eighth day of the San Fermin festival in Pamplona July 13, 2008. REUTERS/Dani Cardona

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Goodness gracious, now I’ve done it! I should have stayed with the tour, but no, I knew better!

So I guess this place must be one of those gigolo bars. Sheesh, every man in here is dressed better than I am. They all have those fancy things on their shoulders like they’re colonels or something, but I bet they’re not. They even have CAPES for cripes sake, and here I am in a plain dress!

They all look so smarmy, but they’d be offended if I left without an escort. I’ve gotta break the ice. How do you suppose you say “Do you want some flan?” in Spanish?

French bullfighter Juan Bautista (2nd R) waits for the start of the fourth bullfight of the San Fermin festival in Pamplona, Spain, July 10, 2008. REUTERS/Susana Vera

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Dear Mama and Papa Bull, it’s exciting here in Pamplona! I can sure see why us bulls love the annual Running of the Tourists!

I feel a little guilty, though. Face it. If these people had any brains they wouldn’t be out jogging with huge honking bulls. Then they drink gallons of wine, just to give us even more of an edge!

Yesterday I suddenly just sat down, Ferdinand-style, and that really confused them. I sneered at this guy in a red shirt, and I think he soiled his pants right there!

The trick is to poke and toss the tourists just for fun, but not hurt ‘em enough to get into trouble. Today we might just squash the whole bunch of them, then go for paella. I tell you, it’s just a shame we don’t know which ones are studying to be matadors!

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Above: Runner falls on top of a bull during the running of the bulls in Pamplona, July 9, 2008. REUTERS/ Susana Vera

Below: Bull stops in the middle of the street in Pamplona,  Spain, July 9, 2008.  REUTERS/ Joseba Etxaburu

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