Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Voters are kept in the dark?

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Johnson, get in my office! You call yourself a news photographer?

What is it this time, Boss?

It’s your pictures from that Republican debate! They’re too dark. I can’t even tell who these people are!

Oh. That one on top is Rick Perry, I think, or maybe Michele Bachmann. It’s not my fault, Boss. This was the debate they held entirely in the dark.

A whole debate in the dark?

Yeah, you know, some of the candidates wanted to debate on the radio, and some wanted television, so they compromised on televising it but with no lights.

Wait. That’s too stupid even for this dumb blog. You’re saying the viewers could only hear, they couldn’t see anything?

WARNING: avert your gaze!

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Blog Guy, as the proprietor of a very visual blog, can you tell me the easiest way to get people to look at a photograph?

Sure. Just tell them not to. It’s simple reverse psychology. For example, DO NOT look at the picture in this blog.

Paris, couldn’t ya just wear gloves?

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Johnson, get in my office! You call yourself a news photographer?

What did I do this time, Boss?

I sent you to cover that Paris Hilton event where she’s pushing her line of shoes, but I told you NOT to make it look like free publicity. You know, it has to seem newsworthy.

After all, she is one of the 10 most hated people in America, AND she’s just trying to sell shoes.

Big trouble when the chips are down?

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Oh Dear Lord, tell me this isn’t happening!

I just wanted to watch some tennis, so I called the boss on our busiest day of the year and said I was sick with projectile vomiting, impacted wisdom teeth, temporary insanity and a fever of 106…

Then I got to my seat, and who’s right in front of me? The fricking PRIME MINISTER!

Act now, and get a free BONUS photo!

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Blog Guy, I really enjoyed your item on Medo, the world’s cutest bear, visiting your blog a few days ago.

Thanks, that one was very popular. Readers loved Medo.

Can you give us some more pix of him?

Sure, you got it. I’ll do it right now as my Sunday blog post, and then I can go back to sleep.

It’s a jungle out there…

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GERMANY/

Johnson, get your butt into my office!

What did I do now, Boss? I thought I was improving as a news photographer.

GERMANY/You are! I see all of our clients used YOUR photos of new those tiger cubs at the zoo. It’s as if the competition didn’t even send anybody!

They did send a photographer, Boss. The tigers ate him. It was pretty gross.

And while this poor guy was being torn limb from limb, you just kept shooting the cute little cubs?

Shooting through a glass, darkly…

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girlfriends combo 490

Johnson, get your butt into my office! You call yourself a news photographer?

girlfriend 4 side 220Jeez, Boss, I thought I was doing better. What’s wrong?

I send you out to cover Formula One racing over the weekend, and you come back with shots of cars?

Look at this crap! Cars having wrecks, cars on fire, cars flying through the air…

I couldn’t pick out that guy in a line-up!

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SPAIN/

Blog Guy, my favorite actor is Antonio Banderas. He is SO dreamy! I love him! Can you please, please run a photo of him in your blog for all his fans?

SPAIN/Sure, my pleasure. Here he is in Málaga, Spain, a couple of days ago for Holy Week. Enjoy.

How’d you make out with that socialite?

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paris kiss this 490

Johnson, get your butt into my office! Did you shoot those Paris Hilton events?

I sure did, Boss, I just got back.

MEXICO/So? Fill me in. Was it newsworthy?

I dunno. She mostly just made out with some guy.

Wait a minute, Johnson. She called the press in to watch her make out?

Yeah, I thought it was kind of nervy of her. He didn’t even try for second base.

Well, I’ll be! Maybe it’s the first time she’s ever been kissed?

Going out on a limb for readers?

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MOTOR-RACING/

Blog Guy, are you still doing those fantasy shots for your blog readers?

Yes, if they are interesting and have some artistic value. What are you looking for?

MOTOR-RACING/I’d like a shot of eight or nine chicks with long, shapely legs to die for, wearing stiletto heels.