Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

That picture is too EXTREME!

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People say to me, “Bob, where do you GET those danged bizarre photos you use?”

I comb our daily photo file, but the weirdest ones are served up to me on a silver platter, in an “Extreme Monthly” selection of shots hand-picked by some really twisted minds on our photo desk. Here are some caption snippets from their latest batch:

Philadelphia Eagles cheerleaders line up in the end zone… REUTERS/Tim Shaffer

The founder of a sex toy company uses a lighter to burn a rubber dildo to show her sales staff the quality of the product… REUTERS/David Gray

Back at the wheel, Madonna mobile!

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Blog Guy, I’m very disappointed in you.

So are most people. Can you be more specific?

You used to update us on Madonna and her auto in different world cities, but I’ve seen nothing for two weeks. Is her car in the shop, or what?

No, it’s still on the move, but she’s covering a lot of ground. Yesterday our plucky troubadour performed in Tel Aviv. Here’s a photo to prove it.

It’s like if déjà vu had déjà vu!

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Blog Guy, recently you poked fun at the number of similar photos of Madonna from her Sticky and Sweet Tour.

Folks must have been kind of embarrassed to see all those same shots from different cities?

I’ve got something odd to ask, Your Holiness…

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Blog Guy, I’ve watched patiently as you’ve provided fantasy shots for a lot of readers with very little imagination. Now I’m going to put you to the test.

Very big talk, from a guy who writes in italics!

I want a photo of the Dalai Lama.

Jeez. I can get you one of those in my sleep. You want him wearing Billy Bob Halloween teeth? Wearing a mullet cut wig?

Lower your blood pressure in 10 seconds…

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Blog Guy, I remember when you used to run photos of really cute animals now and then, to lower people’s blood pressure. You haven’t done that recently.

Nah, my blood pressure is fine now.

But what about us? Your readers? Couldn’t you just find one extraordinarily wonderful shot that brightened your whole month, and use that really big?

Does this make me look cool?

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Blog Guy, it’s me. That aspiring photojournalist you’re patiently mentoring.

Yes, yes, what is it now?

I’ve been shooting a lot of politicians and government officials. Should I go for photos of them waving, smiling or what?

When a mommy and daddy love each other very much…

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Blog Guy, my mom told me to ask you about the birds and the bees.

She WHAT?

She said you know a lot of stuff and you could explain it to me.

That’s quite a responsibility.  I checked yesterday’s photo file, which is where I get most of my information, and I think I can help you.

It turns out, bees land on sunflowers in California to gather pollen, and birds sit in nests in Belarus. Does that do it for you?

Don’t turn around, Mr. President!

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It’s me, Blog Guy, the aspiring photojournalist you’ve been mentoring. Congratulate me, I just shot my first presidential event, and here’s my shot! What do you think?

Um, it’s pretty much in focus, I’ll say that for it.

And?

Good use of depth-of-field. I like those lights in the background.

Thanks. What else? Don’t be afraid to be critical.

Well, I was just wondering, did  you shoot from the same angle as the other photographers?

Two, four, six, eight, Eddie’s shots are really great!

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Blog Guy, you write a lot about photojournalism. Is that a good career?

The very best, except for blogging.

High praise indeed! What’s the single best thing about the job?

That’s easy. The cheerleaders! All news photographers have pro cheerleaders who stand behind them at events and do supportive cheers while the shooters snap away. Here, look at this photo from a Lakers game.

I don’t believe that for an instant.

It’s true! Just watch the next presidential news conference or NATO Summit or hurricane or whatever, and watch for the pompoms and skimpy outfits.

Triple-button shot makes photo history!

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It’s me, Blog Guy, that aspiring photojournalist. I think it’s time I try some tougher shots. You know, the ones that only the pros can do. Like say you have some world leaders together and you want to show action?

Sure. The great shooters will do this by showing them buttoning their jackets. If you can get two of them to do it simultaneously, that’s solid gold.