Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

No, we said shoot the CANNON, Mr. President!

Okay, everybody here at the ad agency is really pumped that Barack Obama agreed to be in our Canon camera advertisements, and I think the creative team has turned out some great copy to go with the photo:

“You’re only President for a few years, and they go by so quickly. That’s why more of us Presidents trust Canon to capture our cherished Presidential moments than any other camera.

“Face it. If I don’t record my presidency, then who will, so I never set foot on Air Force One without my Canon EOS.

“Yes, we Canon…”

Bravo! That’s great stuff, team. Now, how are we coming along with the Obama Wheaties commercials?

The Wide World of Lingerie?

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I’m doing a survey on media photo coverage of sports. May I ask a few questions?

Sure, if I can go ahead and watch my “Hogan’s Heroes” reruns while we talk.

That’s the pope in a suit and tie?

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Well, THIS is a FINE mess!

We’re right on deadline for the Time cover story about Pope Benedict meeting Israeli President Shimon Peres in Jerusalem, and we don’t know which is which!

We’re losing money with every minute that goes by! Does anybody have the slightest idea who’s who?

You can shoot her Tilda cows come home…

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Blog Guy, it’s me again, the aspiring photojournalist you’ve been helping. I know shooting photos of celebrities is a huge part of news photography, and I think I’m ready. Who is THE hardest celeb to photograph?

I’m thinking that would have to be Tilda.

Tilde? That squiggly punctuation mark?

No. TILDA! Swinton!

That British actress who was in…um… whatever she was in?

She’s the one.

That seems strange. Why?

Just look at all these attempts in our photo archive. I gather she moves her head up and down so you can never get a full frame, and she makes horrible faces.

Packs of snapping paparazzi nuns!

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Blog Guy, It’s me – the aspiring photojournalist you’ve been advising. know these are hard times in journalism, and I’m wondering if news organizations are cutting costs in the area of photography.

I’m afraid so. Many media outlets have shifted to hiring nuns for photo assignments. You see whole herds of nuns at all the big news events these days.

Stand in front of the Harley, Carly!

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Blog Guy, it’s me again. The guy you’re tutoring to be a photojournalist. Recently you told me about shooting auto shows, and how all people want to see are the chick models. But I presume motorcycle shows are different – surely readers want to see new motorcycles?

Yeah, and surely Bernie Madoff is looking forward to meeting his new roommate, too.

Lots of guys adjusting ties?

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Blog Guy, I hear your textbook on news photography is coming out soon, which is great! Meanwhile, apart from handshakes and group shots, what other photos do readers really love?

As you can see here, shots of men adjusting their ties are always a hit.

For real? I wouldn’t have thought that.

Our photo archive has thousands of them, so they must be popular. Often, we’ll shout out, “Mr. President, your tie is screwed up,” just so he’ll grab it and we can get one of these treasured pix.

Step away from the Lamborghini so I can see you better!

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Blog Guy, I’m back for more of your professional photo advice.

I understand that there are commercial aspects to photojournalism, and I’m ready for that. You know, shooting gadgets, expensive toys. Can I have some tips for shooting a big glitzy auto show?

Sure. You want to make the new models look very hot and sexy.

Thanks! So which parts should I shoot?

Parts? Well, here are some photos from the Geneva Car Show that is going on now. I guess you should focus on legs, thighs, curves…

What’s wrong with this picture?

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Blog Guy, I’m ready! I’ve been studying all of your tips for aspiring photojournalists, and here is my portfolio for your critique. What do you think?

Bravo! Perfect, both of them!

Oh, come on, I need a LITTLE criticism. Surely there’s SOMETHING!

Okay. On the shot of the soccer team captain… Does he actually have a mouth?

Is that a SQUEEGEE, Luigi?

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Okay Luigi, your career is on the line here. We’re put out a fortune for this photo shoot. Got the world’s top models, the works!

The last time you produced a major shoot, a janitor came through with a floor buffer and ruined the whole shoot. That can’t happen again.