Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Outta the way, Kobe! I’m shooting Jack!

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Blog Guy, keep those great lessons coming for us aspiring photojournalists!

A bunch of us get together to discuss your posts on things like shoes, handshakes, group shots and so on.

We were wondering if you could give us some tips on shooting basketball games. With all that action, what’s the most important shot to get?

That would be Jack Nicholson.

The actor?

Yeah, or else Kate Hudson or Leonardo DiCaprio or whatever other celebrities are at the game.

And not the athletes?

Oh, grow up! You think anybody cares about a bunch of flop-sweating tall guys when there are celebrities there looking for publicity and pretending to enjoy themselves?

Shoot ME! My lips are BLUE!

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Blog Guy, I hope you’re going to continue offering tips to wannabe photojournalists in the new year. Tell me, now that winter is really here, what makes a great cold-weather shot?

That’s easy. People swimming in icy water.

Really? I’d think that would get kind of boring.

You’d be wrong, judging from the 642,000 icy swimming shots we’ve had just since Christmas. That’s just a very rough estimate, of course, but I can’t look anywhere without seeing them.

Sticky and Sweet and tedious…

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Blog Guy, I’ve printed out all of your posts about photojournalism and memorized them, and I’m ready for more. What is the single most important element of a newsworthy photo?

It needs to have Madonna in it.

Uh, not to question your expertise or anything, but wouldn’t that get tiresome?

Trust me, you don’t wanna see this…

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Blog Guy, I envy you for getting to spend  your time looking through nice photographs. What a pleasant life.

HAH! You only think that because you don’t see the pictures I’m protecting my readers from. Here’s a sampling of photos I’ve had to look at in recent days.

Have you seen a limousine?

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Blog Guy, I continue to read all of your posts about photojournalism. I’ve mastered your stuff on shooting groups, luggage, shoes, handshakes and stairs. What else makes for great news photography?

Well, now we’re into the stuff that only a handful of the best shooters know, but I think you’re ready.

Look like Teri Hatcher, in seconds!

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Blog Guy, I heard about some awesome new software that automatically makes you look better in photos than you do in real life!

Yeah, I know all about it. It was developed by computer scientists, and it works! The software applies a formula to turn original shot of this woman, on the left, into the more attractive version on the right.

Thrills, spills, nonstop Sudoku action!

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Blog Guy, it seems like you used to have a lot more sports stuff in your blog. Throw us a bone here!

I’m happy to oblige, and your timing is perfect! Here’s a very dramatic shot from a Sudoku competition in Singapore.

Is that Obama in a mullet haircut?

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Blog Guy, please continue answering questions about photojournalism. I was wondering, what do photographers do when people they cover are out of sight?

Good question! They shoot pictures of each other trying to shoot pictures, like these guys trailing President-elect Barack Obama. These are always popular shots.

What kind of a crack is that?

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Blog Guy, I’ve been learning how to tell what’s important in the news by seeing how much coverage something gets. Can I ask a couple of questions?

Sure. Blog Guy will be happy to answer.

Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson is the lead story now. How many pictures of him have you moved today?

What the heck did they tell him?

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Take a look at these pictures of President-Elect Barack Obama below. Top row, happy-go-lucky, not a care in the world. Bottom row, like a guy going for triple root canal.

And here’s what’s interesting. The top three were taken just before the election, and the bottom three, plus the one at the left, were taken after the election.