Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

It’s all Kate, all the time…

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kate middleton this 490

Blog Guy, where is a good place to go for coverage of Kate Middleton, that fiancée of Britain’s Prince William?

BRITAIN-ROYALS/You even have to ask? My blog is all Kate, all the time. One-stop shopping. She appeared at a couple of events this week, and by my count we got 97 new photos of her. I’m sorry it wasn’t 100, but we’ll try to do better.

I’ll be the judge of that. So I have some questions. I’ve heard that she wears so much hair spray that her hair never moves.

Not true. As you can see above, It’s blowing nicely in the wind at a lifeboat dedication ceremony.

Egrets, I’ve had a few…

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An egret stands among anemone flowers…

* * * * * *

egrets this 240Honey, you can stop cooking, it looks like the Hendersons can’t make our dinner party after all!

Damn those people! How do you know?

Look out in the garden, they sent their egrets!

Some friends they turned out to be, huh?

Yeah, with friends like those, who needs anemones?

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An egret stands among anemone flowers in Ben-Shemen forest, near the Israeli town of Modiin, February 21, 2011. REUTERS/Ronen Zvulun

Those are some pretty big shoes to fill

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Blog Guy, you’re obviously a very cosmopolitan dude, a citizen of the world, right?

Well, growing up in Indianapolis we supposedly had some Belgians living on our block, although I never actually saw them.

Fall fashions? Your slip is showing…

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BRAZIL/

Johnson, get your butt into my office! You call yourself a news photographer? You’ve covered the fashion show all week, and not a single shot of a model falling down!

Well thankfully it’s been a pretty safe show, Boss…

BRAZIL/Thankfully? You think readers wanna see skinny chicks standing upright in boring outfits? They want pratfalls! Accidents!

The one guy I can always depend on…

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BRITAIN/

Blog Guy, can you settle an argument with the harpsichord player in my baroque ensemble?

prince charles vertical 220Baroque ensemble? Harpsichord?  Well at least this should be a little more high-class than most of the disputes I get.

Goofy beyond all words…

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KAZAKHSTAN/

Blog Guy, recently I visited your popular Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop, and I bought several of your academic treatises on goofy photography in your gift shop. I read them all, even your 600-page “Goofy Prehistoric Cave Paintings and Stuff like that.”

almaty crop 240So what? We don’t give refunds. You can’t prove you bought that stuff at our museum, and besides, there’s no law against calling myself “Doctor” on the cover of some book.

Where else can you see stuff like this?

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VENEZUELA-POLITICS/

Blog Guy, it’s a new year, so that means your budget for setting up fantasy photos for readers has been replenished, right?

fantasy photo berlusconi 220Yes, and Reuters gave me a whopping increase, so this year’s shots should be spectacular. Step right up and spend my money, sir.

Earn a hundred million dollars at home

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BRITAIN/

Johnson, get your butt into my office! You call yourself a news photographer?

What did I do wrong now, Boss?

I sent you out to take a picture of a hundred million-dollar Gaugin painting and there’s a woman in the shot!

gaugin 340She’s my girlfriend. She likes to be in news photos, and let’s face it. Without her, it’s just a bunch of dead flowers.

Incredible photo; they shot each other

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PHILIPPINES

Although the new year is only a few days old, we may already have identified the most incompetent criminal of 2011.

He is the dimwit in the far left who is about to assassinate a local village politician in the Philippines who, it turns out, is pointing a camera at  him at the same time.

Go on, it won’t bite you!

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sarkozy jet 490

Blog Guy, I heard a strange rumor about French President Nicolas Sarkozy.

My dentist, who actually knows some French people, told me Sarkozy has a deep-seated phobia of jet planes and won’t go near them. Could this be true?

FRANCE/I hear that a lot. Cripes, I don’t know how these crazy rumors get started.