Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Insert zany cartoon sound here…

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SPAIN/

Honey, is that you? How was your fight? Did you torture another poor creature to death?

Mmmmmpffffffffff…..

I can’t understand what you’re saying. Sounds like somebody stopped off for a few beers with his amigos, huh?

SPAIN/Urrrrrfwack!

I’m just thinking about dinner, hon. How about a nice butt steak?

Nogo nogo!

Ah, I know, a RUMP roast! We can serve it with buns!

Nogo nogo nogo!

And for dessert, your favorite! Black bottom pie!

Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

I guess I’d better start cooking, sweetie. I don’t want to get, uh, behind! Open the window a crack, will you?

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Spanish banderiller Pedro Muriel is gored by a bull during a bullfight at the Malagueta bullring in Malaga August 22, 2010. Banderillers are bullfighter’s assistants whose role is to weaken the bull’s massive neck and shoulder muscles using harpoon pointed sticks known as banderillas (little flags). Muriel was gored in the right thigh but his wound is not serious, said his manager Ignacio Gonzalez to the magazine Mundotoro. REUTERS/Jon Nazca

I don’t want what he had…

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MEXICO/

“Lamar, aren’t you gonna finish your fish taco? Then whose is it? Ah, that dead guy’s?

“Well he’s not gonna finish it, so shove it over here, I’m still hungry.

Are you cutout to be president?

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cutout obama combo 490

Blog Guy, my sister went to Washington DC this summer and got her picture taken with President Obama at some event. Is that worth anything?

It all depends on the quality of the cutout. You know, did they use good cardboard, nice glossy finish, great big grin, almost real, that kind of thing.

When goofy hats come back to bite you…

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CLINTON

“Okay, big smile now, Chelsea!”

“Jeez Mom, I don’t think posing in these comical hats is such a good idea.”

chelsea painting this 360“It’s CONICAL, not comical, Chelsea. And why not?”

“Think about it, Ma. It’s only the year 2000. You’re still young.

A shot in the dark?

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barcelona fashion combo this 490

Okay staff, I’m afraid tonight’s fashion show is going to be a disaster.

Our so-called “creations” are total horse poop. That’s what happens when Lamar lets his daughter and her gerbils design our entire spring line. No offense, Lamar.

I don’t recall, Your Honor, it’s all a blur

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GERMANY/

Do not adjust your monitor, these two guys have intentionally distorted eyes because, we are told, they are on trial and their faces have been blurred “in accordance with German privacy laws.”

Are you kidding me? Because it looks like the agency that did the blurring just phoned it in. Is there anybody who wouldn’t recognize these guys if you ever saw them again?

Are they like playing tennis in a volcano?

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TENNIS-WIMBLEDON/

Johnson, you call yourself a news photographer? Just a few days ago we had that fiasco with the political shots in Germany, and now this?

What on EARTH is this photo you turned in from the Wimbledon tennis championships?

Those photographers just Horst around!

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horst combo 490

Johnson! Get your butt in here! You call yourself a photojournalist?

What’s wrong, Boss?

GERMANY/I sent you out to get photos of Bavarian State Premier Horst Seehofer, right?

And you come back with one shot of him blocked by somebody else, and another snap that looks like his fricking finger is jammed up his nose!

Oh, sorry Boss, we all had a bet about who could come up with the goofiest shots of the guy. I won.

It’s time for celebrity toes and ankles!

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NBA/FINALS

Blog Guy, I’m a HUGE Christina Aguilera fan. I know she sang the National Anthem at a Lakers game a couple of days ago, and I’m hoping you can run a picture of her. Please!

Sure thing, here you go, that photo on top. She’s looking nice, huh? I guess she…

Hey! Who wants a piece of the first lady?

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michelle muscles 490

Blog Guy, I see all these very inspiring pictures of first lady Michelle Obama visiting classes in schools, and the kids seem to love her. How does she establish that instant rapport?

I believe normally she begins by challenging them to a fistfight.

WHAT? Are you out of your mind?

michelle muscles 2 300Yes, I probably am, but let’s answer  your questions in order. I think she says, “Hello class,” and they say, “Hello Ms. Obama.”