Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Blog Guy, prepare for your ultimate throw-down! You’re good at coming up with fantasy photos for your readers. Do you think there’s any limit to your archive?
Okay, I’m drawing random names from two different drums. One contains the stars of the old sitcom “Seinfeld,” and the other contains everybody else who ever lived. First, I’d like to see, uh, Jason Alexander, with, let’s see, U.S. Senator Richard Lugar.
Here you go. This one is from last Friday, unless you prefer one of their earlier pairings.
That’s stunning! Okay, now I want Jerry Seinfeld with – aha! – Shimon Peres, the President of Israel!
Blog Guy, it’s me. That aspiring photojournalist you’ve been mentoring.
Like I needed to hear from you again. What now?
Well, I’m supposed to be shooting photos of great works of art, and I wondered if there are any tricks to making them look good. You know, special lighting, filters, shutter speeds, etc?
Blog Guy, I represent the creative team of a big advertising agency, and we want to buy a photo for an ad campaign.
We need a poor-quality black-and-white photo of a guy standing in front of some pegboard. Preferably, he should be a suspected war criminal.
Dammit Johnson, now you’ve REALLY screwed up! It was bad enough a couple of weeks ago, when you let a small part of the German Chancellor’s face get in the way of a sky shot, but this one is even worse!
What now, Boss? You sent me out to shoot a profile of French fashion designer Pierre Cardin, and that’s what I did! Look, here are his hands!
Blog Guy, how do you decide what photos to use? I think you’re holding out on us. I bet there’s better stuff than just shots of people making goofy faces and fashion models with their hoo-hahs showing. How about letting us READERS decide?
No problem. I’ll just give you the titles of several of our photo essays from recent days, and you tell me which ones you want to see here. Just say when…
Dammit Johnson, you call yourself a NEWS photographer? I assign you to get a weather shot showing how blue the sky is today, and you come back with some lady blocking part of the view! What’s your problem?
Blog Guy, I was dazzled by your official group shot of the Obama cabinet last week. Do you have any other official group photos?
Do I ever! I’m about to publish a photo book, a collection of rare historic group shots. It’s titled, “Don’t We Have Anything Better To Do Than This?”
Blog Guy, summer is over, and I was wondering how the tourist season treated your famous DC tourist destination, the Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop? Our family went there in July, and it was the high point of our trip.
You’re too kind. Thousands of tourists visited, leaving sticky glazed fingerprints all over our photos. Maybe we should only sell doughnuts to folks on their way OUT from now on, or at least maybe offer moist towelettes.
Blog Guy, as someone who is interested in government, I’m wondering if you can find me a photo of President Barack Obama and his whole cabinet together.
Heck, I can find you an OFFICIAL one! Here is an OFFICIAL photo of Obama, Vice President Joe Biden and the whole cabinet, taken just a few days ago.