Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

The stuff dream photos are made of…

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Hey, Blog Guy, I’m here! Do  you recognize me?

I am in the presence of the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come?

No, you dimwit. This isn’t “A Christmas Carol.” I’m the guy who sets up all those great fantasy photos for your readers, so I’m sorry to see it’s going away.

Well, thanks for all your good work. You’ve pulled off pictures I would have thought impossible, especially the ones involving world leaders.

You’re much too kind, Blog Guy. With the huge budget you gave me, let’s just say miracles could be performed.

I loved that time you got Nicolas Sarkozy to grab

Yeah, I know the one you mean. You’ve used it over and over in your blog.

And getting Muammar Gaddafi and Hugo Chavez to drive around together. I’ve used that one a lot, too.

A chance to arm-wrestle WHO?

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Blog Guy, have you planned any special holiday events for your Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop in Washington, DC?

You bet we have. We have new photo exhibits called “Goofy CEOs” and “Our Goofy Folks in Uniform.”

So, you guys here on that Groupon deal?

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Blog Guy, wake up! Looks like you fell asleep at your computer.

Oh, yeah, thanks. I was going through the so-called “family photos” of finance ministers from the APEC Summit in Hawaii, and I keep falling asleep.

Can’t you get somebody else to do that?

Who? Who on earth is EVER going to look at these pictures, and yet they are a staple of every single summit. There are so many people, we don’t even bother to name them.

Are these the missing links?

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Blog Guy, I want to order one of those elaborate fantasy photos you set up for your readers. You know, the really strange stuff, like that hotel suite with chocolate furniture, and like Sylvester Stallone’s bathroom, and…

What did you have in mind?

Brace yourself. Mine involves a gigantic electromagnet, Justin Bieber, Mount Rushmore, the…

Farewell to the Gaddafi Goof-O-Rama

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Blog Guy, have you been crying? What’s the matter?

Oh, you know, I just hate to see Muammar Gaddafi go.

Are you nuts? He was a brutal dictator, overthrown by his own people!

Sure, but he was a madcap, zany goofball, too. He was in a class all by himself, and my blog was richer for him.

So it’s all about you and your blog and your goofy stuff, Blog Guy? Everything in the world?

Who’s the cutest one of all?

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I’m going to do something a little different today.

There is this writer named Bart King, whose job is almost as much fun as mine. He turns out books with titles like “Big Book of Gross Stuff” and “Pocket Guide to Mischief.”

His latest one, called “Cute! A Guide to All Things Adorable,” has just been published, and I enjoyed it very much. Bart offers clever insight into what makes things seem cute, and why.

Politicians and their pork…

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Blog Guy, can you settle a bet I have with my bartender’s pedicurist?

More bets between random unlikely professions, huh? What is it this time?

That Republican presidential candidate, Mitt Romney. Has he ever seen a porkchop?

You know, I don’t think so.  In these photos from the Iowa State Fair he’s eating a grilled porkchop on a stick, and it looks for all the world like he’s about one bite away from chewing the napkin.

Is everybody happy? Louder!

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Blog Guy, I know you keep up with the various charities of the power elite. Somebody told me about a youth program Secretary of State Hillary Clinton supports, and I don’t think they got it quite right.

I imagine you’re talking about Sullen Young Ballplayers.

Yeah, that was the name of it alright. Tell me about it.

Not much to tell. Once a week her staff brings her a bunch of unhappy young people who would rather be somewhere else, and forces them to meet with her.

You kids, cut that out!

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Blog Guy, we all know you work with Lamar and your two dogs and two cats, but you hardly ever mention the rest of your blog staff. Give us some information about them.

There’s Ray, the typesetter, Duke, who runs the printing presses, there’s Wall Guy, there’s Kelli the photo editor, there’s Julie, our technical…

WARNING: Contents may be too cute for some viewers

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Blog Guy, I guess this is a tough time for you. I mean, it’s summer and people are doing other things, so your blog traffic must have dropped.

Yeah, it always plummets during the summer months.

Is there anything you can do to attract readers? You know, any little tricks?

Well, normally when it gets really bad I pay a chimpanzee to feed milk to a tiger cub. Then I get photos that are adorable beyond comprehension, and run them in my blog.