Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Drive! They’ll get out of the way!

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Okay, staff, now you’ll see why we’ve kept our newest movie release under wraps.

We think it’s going to be the surprise smash hit of the holiday season. Who can compete with “Hugo and Muammar’s Excellent Adventure”?

Think of it as “Grumpy Old Men” meets “Thelma and Louise.” Two gruff guys with hearts of gold drive from Memphis to New Orleans, to “find the real America.”

Muammar has all these flamboyant outfits, see, and sleeps in a tent, and Hugo is a chatterbox who loves fried onion rings and never stops talking.

Got milk? Farmers face lactose intolerance…

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Blog Guy, I heard milk farmers staged a big protest today. Boy, it’s violence everywhere, isn’t it? What was it this time? Guns, firebombs…

Milk. Dairy farmers directed milk straight from the cows, spraying it at the police.

Hey, are you Ben Kingsley’s kids?

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Blog Guy, can you please help settle an argument with my girlfriend? Did Gandhi have any children?

This is what you argue about with your girlfriend? What about fidelity and commitment and toilet seats and stuff?

The worst thing about protest? Take your pick!

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Okay young man, thanks for volunteering, but do you think you have what it takes to be a pro-democracy protester here in Hong Kong?

You BET I do. I have fire in my heart!

That’s the spirit. Because sometimes you may get tear-gassed by police, or maybe even punched and kicked.

She forced herself into the shot?

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Dammit Johnson, you call yourself a NEWS photographer? I assign you to get a weather shot showing how blue the sky is today, and you come back with some lady blocking part of the view! What’s your problem?

Sorry, Boss, but she’s the Chancellor! She stuck her face in and I couldn’t get rid of her. I got as little of her as possible. There’s not even a hint that her face has a left side.

Clinton adviser left in the lurch?

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Blog Guy, whatever happened to James Carville, that bald Cajun political adviser to Bill Clinton? You know, the guy who married that actress Marlee Matlin?

Actually, I think Carville married Mary Matalin, the Republican consultant.

Isn’t that what I said? So what’s Carville up to these days?

I think he’s a brain-eater now.

Excuse me? A brain WHAT?

It’s the darndest thing. I was looking at pictures of zombies at the Toronto Film Festival a couple of days ago, and I’m SURE I saw Carville among them.

So then Bill says to Barack…

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Quick quiz: Former president Bill Clinton is saying to President Barack Obama…

a) I’m not kidding you, Barack, at Quiznos they’ve got a Primo Meatball sub THIS long, full of seasoned meatballs and zesty marinara!

Exploding wieners, run for cover!

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Blog Guy, I’m afraid this suicide bomb trend is spreading, and it scares me.

Me too. There are way too many kinds of explosive gadgets. I saw this photo of a woman wearing a device made of an alarm clock and sausages.

Who’s the Jurk with the accordion?

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Blog Guy, please help settle an argument. My girlfriend says that in some countries, accordion players can actually run for public office. I think she’s wrong.  I know you have written about the accordion problem in the past, and thought maybe you could shed some light.

Your girlfriend is right. Through a loophole in Germany’s election laws, there is an accordion player currently campaigning for office over there.

You are the dancing queen….

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For those of you who are always badgering me for female Democratic Secretary of State gossip, do I have some juicy stuff for you!

The photos down below, from a party in Nairobi last night, show Secretary of State Hillary Clinton really cutting loose on the dance floor while hubby Bill was having no fun in North Korea.