Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

How do you stay so thin, Mr. President?

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Blog Guy, I see President Obama seems to be going to every country in Europe.

Get a clue! Obama himself went to a couple of important countries, then flew home. Now they’re just shipping cardboard cutouts around so the leaders of other nations can have photo opportunities.

The cutouts stand in front of a cardboard version of Air Force One, pose with some locals, and then they’re quickly put back into their flat travel carton.

But aren’t the leaders of those countries insulted?

They know the score. Having their photo taken with a cardboard Obama surrounded by cardboard Secret Service agents impresses their citizens. They even pay a hefty fee for the “presidential visit.”

I’m stunned! So do they pay a per-photo amount for the cardboard Obama?

No, it’s um, a flat fee. So to speak.

Damn! I should have seen that one coming!

Maybe you’re not cutout for this.

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Reuters photos of cardboard Barack Obama cutouts, except for the one on the lower left, showing the real Obama shaking hands with Turkish Prime Minister Tayyip Erdogan in Ankara, April 6, 2009. REUTERS Turkey shot by Murad Sezer.

As cosy as a high school gym?

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“Welcome to our castle, President and Mrs. Obama. This is the living room, where we like to chill.”

“Very comfy, President Klaus. Quite intimate.”

“Take off your shoes and put your feet up on the coffee table. Here, have some of these Czech Sausages. My wife opened the can herself.”

We’re lounging against The Man!

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Today’s political protesters don’t seem to have the commitment we saw in the turbulent 20th century. I’ve ranted about golf-playing protesters, radicals who don’t quite get it, and protesters who only rally in historical costumes.

But this may be the worst. A photo of guys demonstrating against the G20 summit, IN FRICKING DECK CHAIRS!

Thanks, I’ll be here all year… And next year…

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Blog Guy, you did a thing on Treasury Secretary Smiley Geithner recently that I felt didn’t give him enough credit.

“Give credit” is an unfortunate phrase to use these days.

You know what I mean. I’ve heard he is a great speaker who really brings the financial crisis to life for audiences young and old.

Smiley will now tell us a joke!

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Blog Guy, I get the idea that President Obama’s cabinet meetings are a lot of fun. They’re a pretty zany bunch, right?

Most of them are, except for Smiley Geithner.

Smiley? That’s his nickname?

Yes, but I believe it’s a sarcastic one, like calling some huge guy “Tiny.”

Me want a Frap…Frap…Frap…

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Blog guy, I saw some images from a confrontation in Canada over the weekend, with white supremacists vs. anti-racist activists. Is there any easy way to tell them apart?

Oh my, yes! Look at the photo below. All of the anti-racists carry Starbucks drinks. Grande size, if I’m not mistaken.

Turning the tables on police?

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Lonnie! Where you goin’ with my good table?

Nowhere, Ma!

Lonnie, I’m not stupid! You’re strappin’ my good table to yer car!

Okay, Jeez! I’m takin’ it down to our protest today, to throw it at the police.

Where am I? I had the WORST dream!

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Blog Guy, I read that Senator John Kerry was going to meet with Israel’s Foreign Minister Tzipi Livni today. I know the senator can be kind of, you know…

Tedious? Tiresome? Long-winded?

Right. So how did their meeting go?

Wait a sec, photos of the event are just arriving now.

It looks like listening to Kerry put Livni to sleep. Or else killed her. I can’t tell which, but he’s still talking.

Colbert: he’s scarier in Bavaria!

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Blog Guy, you know that Stephen Colbert, with the Comedy Central news show? What else does he do for a living? Surely it’s not a full-time job doing a program that isn’t even as funny as the Daily Show?

Colbert is also involved in politics, over there in Bavaria.

Bavaria! Where’s that?

Europe, I think. But there he goes by the name of Karl-Theodor zu Guttenberg.

Awesome! Where did THAT come from?

From writers. Where do you think ALL of his stuff comes from?

Well what does zu mean?

Nothing. They had a couple of letters left over in the anagram.

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Above: Stephen Colbert, REUTERS/Fred Prouser

Karl-Theodor zu Guttenberg, of Bavaria’s Christian Social Union, in Munich, February 9, 2009. REUTERS/ Michael Dalder

Which is the real live Obama?

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Blog Guy, did you go to the inauguration yesterday?

You bet. See this crowd shot? I’m behind those people. It was an amazing experience, and I got some nice shots of the new President.

You’re a huge imbecile! That first one is cardboard, the second is wax, and the third is just some Indonesian guy who LOOKS like Barack Obama.