Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Did I appoint Hoss Cartwright to something?

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Geez, this is kind of embarrassing. I hope Michelle isn’t watching. Here I am, president-elect, up on a podium with J.R. Ewing.

Cripes, Ken, do you SEE anybody else here wearing a hat? Do you suppose this guy has ever heard of Brooks Brothers, where they sell ties that don’t belong on a riverboat gambler?

I should have read the program. Did I appoint him to something? If I did, I hope it’s it’s just one of those leftover jobs like Interior Secretary, that nobody ever sees…

Because If I have to look at that get-up every day… I’m afraid to look down. What if he’s wearing spurs?

If I win this round, we go into Belgium!

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Blog Guy, you seem to know a lot about diplomacy. Can you give us an inside look at how the big diplomats make crucial decisions that change our lives?

Usually it’s a game of rock, paper, scissors. Condoleezza Rice is a master of it. That’s how we got Britain to go into Iraq with us.

Hold my bomb while I find my matches, pal!

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I’ve blogged before about how today’s protesters just don’t seem to be as dedicated as they were back in the day. I’m starting to think they’re not as bright as they used to be, either.

This anarchist is making a Molotov cocktail, a basic tool of the anarchy game. But then, in the bottom photo, he HANDS the fricking thing to a SECURITY GUARD, to be passed along to an ambassador, who’s supposed to give it to protesters in Greece!

We had real dictators back then! Good times!

Blog Guy, I was stunned to see items in your blog recently about dictator nostalgia. You had folks carrying pictures of Joseph Stalin in Ukraine and Belarus, and then you had people trying to keep the Mussolini name alive in Italy.

Yes, and just today we have photos of weepy mourners crying on the second anniversary of the death of former Chilean dictator Augusto Pinochet.

Why so annoyed, Floyd?

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Blog Guy. I need your advice. I’m thinking of moving to Canada, because they all seem so happy and carefree up there.

Are you crazy? Here are some Canadian politicians. Do they LOOK happy?

No, they look pretty cheesed-off. What are they debating, anyway?

I think whether to order poutine for lunch.

What’s that?

A traditional Canadian dish. I can’t bear to write what’s in it, but you can find it here if nothing grosses you out.

Ya wanna do stand-up, watch me!

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“Ya still don’t get it, do ya?

“The guy says, ‘Take my wife……..please.’ See, it’s that pause that makes it funny! It’s like he’s tellin’ somebody to take his…oh, never mind!

“You’re not supposed to mess with a perfect joke! It’s not funny when you say, ‘Please take my wife away for re-education through labor.’ That wouldn’t be a joke at all!

Hilarity ensues at World Summit!

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Memo to World Leaders:

It’s President Bush’s last big summit meeting, and we’re going to play a great gag on him at the G20 in Washington! This is going to be a laugh-riot!

Please pay attention. You’ll all come together for the Official Group Photo, see, but just before the photographer takes it, everybody will shrug and walk away, leaving the President there all by himself!

You see this doorknob, Barack?

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Barack, let me show you something important. This Oval Office doorknob sticks, and it can lock when you don’t want it to.

When that happens, you have to walk all the way around to the tourist entrance and stand in line. Mighty embarrassing!

Look, the Johnsons are carrying Stalin again!

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We have photos of celebrations in Ukraine and Belarus, and some people carrying pictures of Soviet dictator Joseph Stalin, who is generally considered a guy you wouldn’t want as a neighbor. I’m wondering how they get folks to do that.

Honey, did you pick up our posters for the big celebration tomorrow?

Yeah, I got Stalin again. It’s all they had left!

Jeez! Again? Were they out of the Hitler ones?

Completely.

And no Mussolini?

Nope.

Vlad the Impaler? Jack the Ripper?

All gone.

Barry Manilow?

Zip.

Who do you have to KNOW to get out of carrying this Stalin crap? Next year, we make our own Hannibal Lecter signs!

Another can of hairspray, Stumpy!

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Blog Guy, now that our election is over, I need a political fix. What are some interesting parties to watch?

I like the guys in these photos. They’re an opposition faction in Egypt, and I just call them the Genius Party. You can spot them using aerosol cans to spray fire.