Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Nobody gets off THIS train, pal!

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Blog Guy, I know you’re closely following the race for the Republican presidential nomination. I’m a little surprised you haven’t chosen a Quote of the Week yet for last week.

It goes to candidate Herman Cain, who told reporters, “When people get on the Cain train, they don’t get off.”

Wait. He said what?

“When people get on the Cain train, they don’t get off.”

But doesn’t that make this so-called Cain train sort of like that Eagles song, “Hotel California,” where “You can check out any time you like but you can never leave”? It seems to, although it reminded me more of that Roach Motel tagline, “Roaches check in, but they don’t check out!”  

You can’t have a term, Herm…

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So, Blog Guy, as a keen observer of the political scene, what’s your take? Can Herman Cain be elected president at this point?

No, he cannot.

Because of the….

Exactly. Because of his name.

Now I’m confused. His name?

Of course. What did you think I meant? Check out the U.S. Bill of Rights, and you’ll see that nobody named Lemuel, Enoch or Herman is allowed to become president.

Courting the goat vote…

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Blog Guy, with the 2012 presidential campaign now underway, I’m surprised nobody is covering the goat angle.

Yeah, many political writers handle that group with kid gloves, but not me, not with all of the candidates actively courting the goat vote.

The strain on Cain is changing his campaign?

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In case some of you missed it because of the freak snowstorm, I’m going to mention an unusual political story from Saturday. It involves Herman Cain, one of the front-runners for the Republican Party’s presidential nomination.

According to the Associated Press, Cain said he will “dial back” his campaign and media appearances in order to avoid missteps.

Stir that succotash, will ya, Newt?

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Excuse me, I hate to complain and everything, but…

Yes, what is it, Governor Gingrich?

Well, I’m not a governor. I used to be the Speaker of the House of Representatives. I’m running for the Republican nomination, and I was wondering, how come I have to eat in the kitchen, standing up?

Oh, this is Iowa, Governor. Everybody eats in the kitchen.

Hang on just a minute, I can see that Rick Perry guy getting his picture taken with folks, and there’s Michele Bachmann signing autographs and what-not, and here I am standing next to some lady in an apron…

Farewell to the Gaddafi Goof-O-Rama

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Blog Guy, have you been crying? What’s the matter?

Oh, you know, I just hate to see Muammar Gaddafi go.

Are you nuts? He was a brutal dictator, overthrown by his own people!

Sure, but he was a madcap, zany goofball, too. He was in a class all by himself, and my blog was richer for him.

So it’s all about you and your blog and your goofy stuff, Blog Guy? Everything in the world?

Taking a stand for a place to sit?

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Blog Guy, nobody has better connections to the 2012 political campaigns than you do. I’ve heard that President Obama has chosen his official campaign slogan for the presidential race.

I presume it’s “Yes we can,” since that worked so well for him in 2008?

Peel faster if you wanna be president!

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Blog Guy, I’ve been trying to get a job in the exciting outdoor food service industry, and there aren’t any. Do you know why?

Of course. Politicians and celebrities are taking all of them.

Yes! That’s what happened to me! I tried getting work peeling potatoes in Ireland, and they gave the position to a presidential candidate, instead!

Great mooseum! I’ll be back!

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Blog Guy, I need some of your famous travel advice. I love visiting the childhood homes of great people, to see where they got their start.

I’ve been to Mark Twain’s home in Hannibal, Missouri, the house where Louisa May Alcott grew up in Concord, Massachusetts, Reverend Martin Luther King’s birth home, in Atlanta…

Come back, Sarah, it’s not too late!

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Blog Guy, you look pretty upset. What’s wrong?

Are you kidding me? It’s the race for the 2012 Republican presidential nomination. All the potential fun is evaporating before my eyes!

What do you mean?

I still can’t believe it. Sarah Palin now says she’s not running!

Two days ago, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie opted not to run. Donald Trump flirted with a bid, then dropped out.