Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Caddy, give me my Molotov Cocktail!

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golf-putt-2-120.jpgBlog Guy, I guess everything is cyclical, isn’t it? I see all these political demonstrations, and it’s just like the 1960s again!

Speak for yourself, italic font-using stranger. I just saw photos of an anti-government demonstrator practicing his GOLF PUTT! Excuse me? In my day, the other guys played golf, not the protesters. What’s happened to this world?

WIFE: Off to another day of protest, dear?

HUSBAND: Yes, as soon as the detailer finishes with my Jaguar.

WIFE: Don’t forget I’m hosting Junior League here tonight. Can you pick up some Dom Perignon?

HUSBAND: You bet, sweetie! The wine shop is right next to the place that makes my IMPEACH BUSH! signs. Kiss-kiss! Hey, don’t mess up my double-breasted blue blazer and bow tie!

Politicians staggeringly well qualified?

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Blog Guy, you’ve been making the point that no U.S. politician can hope to win without eating a lot of ice cream in public. But I suppose it’s like that everywhere?

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There’s always something, but it isn’t always ice cream.

Take Germany. You see these politicians chugging beer from mugs the size of an oil refinery? Ten minutes from now they won’t remember what country they’re in.

Look ma, no hands!

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sdp-arms-crop-140.jpgMy blog isn’t just for your amusement. It’s about improving your people skills as well, which is why so many doctors recommend it. Now, the body language in these photos say …

- We would would rather be staked out naked in a wolverine park than where we are right now.

Look Cindy, a guy in a leisure suit!

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Quick quiz: Republican presidential candidate John McCain is saying…

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“Wave, Cindy! I think that’s my first wife over there!”

“Is that jerk fooling anybody with that comb-over?

“There’s one of the guards from the Hanoi Hilton! Yo! Nguyen!”

“Look what that sign says about me! It says… Oh. Never mind.”

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mccain-colorado-springs-1-360.jpgRepublican presidential nominee John McCain, his wife Cindy (R) and vice-presidential nominee Sarah Palin take the stage at a campaign rally in Colorado Springs, Colorado September 6, 2008. REUTERS photos by Brian Snyder

Candidates: everybody must get coned!

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Blog Guy, recently you had pictures of John McCain, Barack Obama and Joe Biden all eating ice cream, and you said give Sarah Palin a few days and she would also be pandering to ice cream voters. Well, she’s an independent-minded rebel, so are you ready to take it back?

You should check out these pictures of Palin in Wisconsin yesterday. As I predicted, she’s already cramming those icy scoops past her lips as fast as she can.

Refrain in Spain: Vote mainly for McCain!

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spain-mccain-3-200.jpgBlog Guy, do our presidential candidates have any supporters in other countries?

Yes, I checked it out, and there is a very active group called Spain for McCain.

You didn’t check anything out. You just wanted to use that headline, didn’t you?

You can still HEAR the headless delegate, moaning…

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Quick quiz: Former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani, who now earns a living telling scary campfire stories for young and old and bills himself as “BOO-liani,” is saying here…

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“So the THUMP-THUMP-THUMP was his head, rolling down the old staircase!”

GOP: harangue for the twang?

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country-first-300.jpgHey Blog Guy, I’ve been asleep for the last year. What’s the main issue in the upcoming election?

Uh-oh. I slept a lot too, but I believe the big issue is music.

Music?

Yes. Republicans want to make country music our official music. If you watch their convention you’ll see lots of signs saying “COUNTRY FIRST.”

You should choose Abe! Honest!

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lincoln-2-160-0902.jpgBlog Guy, looking around the Republican Convention, I saw a fairly famous guy who might have been overlooked for the number two slot on the ticket.

Yeah, I think I know who you’re talking about. He doesn’t seem to be what they’re looking for. He was closely associated with a war, and that’s not the right image. He’s also not very popular in the South, and isn’t likely to bring in those states.

The Rocky Road to the presidency

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Blog Guy, I worry that the candidates don’t get enough to eat.

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Are  you kidding? They won’t starve. Each candidate eats an estimated six gallons of ice cream daily! They go through a dozen cones at a single stop, so all the photographers can get pictures.

I had absolutely no idea!

Sure. Why do you think a dentist travels on each campaign plane, to make sure tooth decay isn’t an issue despite all that sugar?