Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

I’ve decided not to be President Trump…

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Blog Guy, what’s wrong? You look like you’ve been sobbing.

Yeah, I have. I’m pretty broken up about Donald Trump not running for president.

But you weren’t going to vote for him, anyway.

Yes, but I figured my blog was practically written in advance through 2012. It would have been so easy. I’ll never find anybody like that again.

Jeez Blog Guy, way to make it all about YOU!

I mean, testing the political waters by implying the current President of the United States wasn’t really born here? Who does that?

Then there’s the whole “Apprentice” thing. A year ago I wouldn’t have believed any serious contender would even WATCH a reality television show, and now we come this close to having a candidate who APPEARS on one! It was a humor blogger’s dream come true!

My name is Trump, put up yer dukes!

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Blog Guy, you’ve written about this Donald Trump guy who may be running for president. He’s never been a candidate, so I don’t have a feel for his personal campaign style.

Trump is very confrontational. He’ll go to a place and pick a fight with some guy just to draw a crowd, as you can see in this photo.

Sorry Mr. Trump, I thought you were someone else

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Blog Guy, you look very upset. What’s wrong?

I’ve just seen the clearest sign yet of that onrushing Apocalypse I keep writing about.

That’s just a photo of possible candidate Donald Trump. We’ve already established that you wouldn’t vote for him. So what’s the new sign?

It’s not tricky, tiki isn’t tacky…

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TARTAN WEEK

Blog Guy, now that Donald Trump may run for president, what are you going to do? Will you be caught up short at the Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop, what with the scarcity of funny photos of Trump?

goofy trump combo 340Are you kidding me? Our only problem will be whether to build a new wing or just a huge annex to display our Trump collection.

Maybe you can believe it, if it helps you to sleep…

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OBAMA/

Blog Guy, I think I’m going mad! I woke up this morning and the radio was saying something about a “U.S. President Taylor.” Who the hell is that?

president taylor 300Where have you been for the last two years, buddy? They were talking about President James Taylor.

Honk! Here comes the Muammar car!

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LIBYA/GADDAFI

As a highly paid political consultant, it irritates the heck out of me when clients ignore my advice.

gaddafi vertical 200What is Blog Guy’s first rule for politicians when they’re out in public?

You gonna talk, or you gonna draw?

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RUSSIA

Blog Guy, can you please settle some bets I have with my gynecologist’s haberdasher?

Sure, I’m happy to pander to readers by settling stupid bets. What’s up?

The very worst Palin photo ever?

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palin goofy new 490

Blog Guy, I notice you keep using the same goofy photo of Sarah Palin, that one from the Belmont last year. Is that the only funny shot you have of her?

No, I just got a new one, and as you can see here, it’s even better.

palin 340OMG! She must be a very good sport! Gorgeous women usually aren’t willing to have their picture taken looking so grotesque. Some of them would hold a grudge and come after you.

The cigarettes are in the cabinet?

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smoking minister 490

Quick quiz: The politician puffing away in this photo is…

smoking canadian 260a) Going to be grounded if her mom catches her smoking again…

b) Not likely to be the first stop on “Take Your Child to Parliament Day”

c) The star of a one-woman stage tribute to legendary musician Roy Orbison

d) A senior Canadian cabinet minister

Congratulations if you guessed d). She is the International Cooperation Minister for Canada. Really.

Go ahead, I’ve seen worse… Well, maybe not…

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extremists belgium 490

Blog Guy, what is your policy on negotiating with extremists?

My what?

BELGIUM/Your policy. Now that you qualify as a Senior Blogger, you have to take some shifts directing counter-terrorism tactical units. You didn’t see that in the Facebook Network rules?

No, I guess I just clicked on AGREE, like everybody else. But I’ll tell you this, I will never negotiate with extremists. We will not compromise.