Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

And we’ll throw in a free doctorate, too!

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BRITAIN/

Lonnie, it’s me, the university president. Can you hear me?

Yeah Boss, I’m at the art gallery. A bunch of our students are here demonstrating against the tuition increase.

arm pit vertical 240Big deal, Lonnie. They’re being peaceful, right?

Uh, yeah, but one of the women just took off her clothes, right down to her black bra and panties.

Really? Sounds kind of sexy, Lon.

Sure, maybe if you’ve been in prison for 20 years. It’s Hulga. Now she’s waving her arms in the air.

Oh, her. Well, they can do whatever they want, we’re not changing our  minds about the tuition, because… Wait! Isn’t Hulga the one that doesn’t shave under her…

Canine politics, fetching and kvetching

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EU-IRELAND/BUDGET

Blog Guy, do dogs have political views?

Not all of them, but certainly those graffiti-trained dogs do.

HONDURAS/There are dogs that are trained to spot graffiti?

They don’t spot it, they WRITE it.

They boil complex viewpoints down to some pretty simple words. Don’t get my golden retriever started on the IMF and Ireland’s economic woes…

This is incredible. I’ve never even seen a dog writing graffiti.

Well of course you haven’t. The training wouldn’t be very good if you caught them at it, would it?

Really? That’s your best argument?

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GERMANY/

Blog Guy, I’m guessing you lived through the 1960s, a decade known for political turmoil. What’s the most important weapon when the people want to protest against the establishment?

protest garbage 280Gosh, the ’60s were long ago, but I’d say the best weapon is cool logic. When the whole world is watching, argue your points eloquently and factually.

Tie me to the plank, Frank!

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protest plank 490

Okay lads, it’s time we make our protest heard by those bloody politicians. They can’t raise our university tuition and get away with it!

Blimey, Nigel, you don’t mean… Not the plank!

plank party 220Yes. You fellows know the drill. Bring me a long wooden plank and a rope. And I need some really stupid chap, stripped naked.

Better call Geico, Boiko!

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BULGARIA/

Does nobody ever listen to what I say?

What is Blog Guy’s first rule for politicians when they’re out in public?

drivers combo this 360Do NOT let them drive a car! It doesn’t give them the common touch, it doesn’t make them look macho, it just makes them appear truly goofy.

Let’s think this through, Lamar….

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Blog Guy! You’ll never believe what I just saw!

Try me. I’ll believe just about anything.

USA/

You know Christine O’Donnell, that woman who’s running for the U.S. Senate who “dabbled in witchcraft” and is opposed to people entertaining themselves?

Entertaining themselves?

USA/You know what I mean. Basting the ham… Shucking the corn… Polishing the bayonet… Should I get more specific?

Sanity: you just know it when you see it

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rally kittens top 490

Blog Guy, you live in Washington DC, right? Are you going to that big Rally to Restore Sanity today?

You bet. I know lots of folks who are going.

jaws shark 220But are you, as a respected humor blogger, allowed to take a political stand like that?

Do you have a flare for stupidity?

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SOCCER-EURO/

Blog Guy, me and others like me are being discriminated against. We’re dumbasses, and we don’t think there are enough ways for us to express ourselves these days.

I have to disagree there, ace. From where I sit, opportunities for dumbasses have never been greater.

Not just another pretty face?

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Okay class, you’ve had a week to memorize our country’s cabinet ministers, who are VERY important people! It’s time for a quiz, to see how many you can recognize. Here’s the first one…

conservatives head

But Miss Johnson! Miss Johnson!

Yes, Lamar?

BRITAIN-OSBORNE/ECONOMYThat’s just the back of some guy’s head! Can you show us his face?

No, Lamar. You need to know him from the back, as well. If you’re ever walking behind this gentleman in a crowd, and you see a big leech hanging from his neck, you can point it out to him.

A cosmetic solution to our differences?

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UN-ASSEMBLY/

Blog Guy, as a Washington DC insider you’re an expert on high-level diplomacy. I hear countries have little ways of showing degrees of displeasure through diplomatic contact. Is that true?

Of course. Our own Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is a gold medal pro at this tactic. Here she is talking with the President of Turkey, while putting on lipstick. Does it look like she gives a crap what he’s saying?