Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
This train is bound for glory, this train
Whoa! Did you see that, Clancy? Looked like Pope Benedict on that train that just went by!
Nah, it couldn’t have been, Lamar.That’s an express and the Pope takes the local.
Couldn’t he take the express and change to the local at 72nd Street?
Yeah, I guess that would work. Maybe he’s running late this morning, or he’s got a sales call before he hits the office.
I seen him once on the F Train. Real friendly guy.
Oh, the humanity!
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Blog Guy, can you settle a bet I have with my investment manager’s astrologer?
Wait. Doesn’t it bother you that your investment manager HAS an astrologer?
Nah, it beats the hell out of his damned Magic 8-Ball. “Should I get out of the stock market?” “Ask again later…” Sheesh.
Anyway, he says the Pope gets a summer vacation, but I think the Pope works all the time.
You’re both right. The Pope does spend time at a fairly nice summer residence, at Castelgandolfo, Italy.
Just “fairly nice?” What’s wrong with it?
wow….you can’t be serious. No tv? I bet he drinks a lot; you can’t enjoy a Bavarian folk dance without a few local Bavarian pints.
And the second-best museum is…
Blog Guy, I’m having an argument with my piano tuner’s haberdasher…
My main purpose in life is to settle arguments. What is it?
We were trying to decide on the second-best museum in the world, next to your Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop, which we both agree is number one.
Anyways, is number two the Metropolitan Museum of Art, in New York City, or the Louvre, in Paris?
Sorry, I’m not familiar with those. I’m sure they’re probably both okay.
WHAT? And you’re a travel writer? Then what would be your choice?
And a pain to make. I’ve never yet got the texture right. Maybe I should leave the rum alone until I’ve actually cooked them?
Pedaling for the pope…
Fellow archbishops, we all know why we’re here. The Vatican entertainment budget is gone, and it’s only October.
So who has some good ideas for extremely cheap ways to entertain the pope? Yes, Most Reverend Lamar, you raised your hand?
Your Excellency, what about bringing in some “artists” to entertain His Holiness? Has that ever been done here at The Vatican?
Uh, let’s see, according to our records an artist named Michelangelo came here in 1508 and it worked out pretty well. But artists are expensive, Archbishop Lamar.
Not if you just get some bozo off the street and CALL him an artist. What does His Holiness really seem to like?
He enjoys sitting on the porch and watching bicycles go by. He always waves at the riders.
Well, there is currently a revival going on across the street from me. Some little kid is flailing all over the place. He is either dancing or having a fit and waiting to be saved. As I frequently look like I am having a fit when I am dancing, I will not pass judgement.
Love to all,
Sister Merry Bambi
Let’s see..Three letters, begins with a G?
Blog Guy, where did that expression “Is the pope Catholic?” come from?
It’s interesting you should ask that. Judging from a survey released this week, it’s reasonable to wonder how many Americans know the answer.
Let’s just say if there’s a quiz to get into Heaven, it turns out you should copy your answers from a smart atheist.
Blog Guy, the main thing I know about getting to Heaven is it helps to recommend your blog to a lot of folks. So what about this survey?
Well, 29 percent of the people didn’t even know where Jesus was born.
No! Despite the Christmas carol, “O Little Town of Birmingham?”
Hey, from the back you could be the pope!
Hey, Blog Guy! It’s me, that aspiring photojournalist you’ve been mentoring…
You say mentoring, I say avoiding… What do you need to know today about the exciting field of news photography?
They sent me to the Vatican to get shots of the pope, and I wanted you to critique them. So what do you think?
Um, where is he?
He’s right there, Blog Guy! Behind those palm leaves. Look, you can see his eye and some of his hair.
Didn’t you get anything that shows a little more of him?
Hand me a hose, I’m the Pope!
Okay guys, for reasons that baffle me, the stupid network dropped our Police Pope! series. It’s a blow, but we’re back in the lineup this fall with something even better: Jacob’s Ladder!
The new premise is that the Pope used to be a fireman. He still misses the action, see, so the Italian firefighters call him in on really tough fires.
Look at these publicity stills. Putting on his helmet, racing to the action in his car, directing the other firemen on the scene. It’s a natural!
Roy, put together a trailer. The Pope sliding down his special Vatican fire pole, running out of a burning building carrying somebody over his shoulder, rough-housing with the squad’s Dalmatian.
And Roy, the trailer has to end with that scene from the pilot, where the fire chief says, “Your Holiness, this is the worst blaze ever!”
The Pope looks at the camera, winks, and says, “Not even close, chief!”
First picture: “You sure this won’t mess up my hair?”
Second picture: And this year’s Magnolia Festival grand Marshal, the Pope!
Third picture: “That was fun guys, but next time could you give me a jacket like you have? It was a little bit hot in there.”
Cheese it, Lefty! It’s Police Pope!
Okay guys, this action show concept is a guaranteed hit, so help me brainstorm it.
It’s called ”Police Pope!” See, this guy used to be a cop, and when he becomes the Pope he still misses police work. So they call him in on tough cases. You know, he’s out on that little balcony a lot, and when they need help they flash a signal. He puts on his cop hat, and he’s off!
We need fast-paced theme music played on a church organ. Are you with me? And he’s got to have a catch phrase. I know, when he’s onto something, he says “Bingo!” Is that too subtle?
Now, in the first episode, they show him a crime suspect and say, “We need a confession,” and he just winks and smiles knowingly. Is that great, or what!
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Pope Benedict XVI wears a police cap as he meets a former Australian police officer at the Kenthurst Study Center, in Sydney, July 16, 2008. REUTERS/Osservatore Romano/Pool
Great idea. Be sure (in cop mode) he stops to help the occasional kitten or give a kid a Tootsie Roll.
Don’t think “Bingo” is quite right though. Hhhhmmmmmmh…..
The perpetual papal presidential present!
When President George Bush went to visit Pope Benedict, of course he wanted to take something nice. So what did he offer? Um, a picture of himself together with the Pope.
I know it’s hard to shop for a pope, but still this seems odd. Doesn’t the Vatican have its own printers to grind those out in the event the Pope wants a photo of himself with someone who is going to be a world leader for seven more months? And what did the Pope give Bush in return? Oh. That would be an autographed picture of the Pope. Seriously.
So here’s what I think would be cool. I’m going to send them a big copy of this picture of Bush and the Pope holding the picture of Bush and the Pope. Then, if I can just get a picture of the Pope holding the photo of him and Bush holding the photo of him and Bush…. Well, you get the idea. It’s the Perpetual Papal Presidential Present!
Related: Your Holiness! We’re MELTING!
Pope Benedict XVI receives a picture from U.S. President George W. Bush and first lady Laura Bush (L) after a meeting in the medieval St John’s Tower in the Vatican Gardens on June 13, 2008. REUTERS/ Filippo Monteforte/ Pool
Better than a picture of Guantanamo, or Abu Ghraib, or shock and awe bombing of Baghdad.
Your Holiness! We’re MELTING!
I have a deep fear that wax museums will totally confuse the future civilizations that discover them centuries from now. What will they think, finding a waxy Paris Hilton in prison stripes?
But I must say that a couple of days ago I had a brief flash of appreciation for this art form, upon seeing a tableau of assorted politicians, all grinning at a waxen Pope Benedict around his birthday cake.
I thought surely the plan was to implant big honking wicks into their heads, and use the statues as lifesize candles to surprise the real pope when he arrives in DC this week. What a sight!
Well, that was SO NOT THE PLAN, that it turns out I’m supposed to stick close to home for a few days, and be available for questioning. That’s the last time I say what I suppose everybody else is thinking!
Related post: Political paraffin-alia on display
Wax figures of Pope Benedict and President George W. Bush are pictured “attending” a birthday party with wax figures of presidential candidates Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, and former President Bill Clinton in Washington, April 10, 2008. REUTERS/Jeff Snyder/Handout
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Resident Oddly Enough blog Expert
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@Nosmo, hey I see where you went with that one! Well done!
Oh so that’s a window and those are real people Pope is waving to in the second pic? Looked like a TV screen to me. Thought he was watching a re-run of Real Worshipers of Vatican City.