We have some photos of President Barack Obama speaking at a middle school, where a member of the audience has the word OBAMA shaved in his hair.

Presidential haircuts are a time-honored tradition in this country, and today’s students don’t know how lucky they are to deal with a five-letter name.

Why, in my day, I didn’t think my hair would ever grow back from my John Fitzgerald Kennedy cut, which I unfortunately got a week before the assassination.

And don’t even get my grampa started on his President Franklin Delano Roosevelt haircut. Suffice it to say the last three letters actually had to be carved into his cheek, and never went away.

And speakin’ of the old days, did I ever tell you kids about the time….

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A student with an “Obama” haircut at Wright Middle School in Madison, Wisconsin, listens to U.S. President Barack Obama speak as he visits the area, November 4, 2009.   REUTERS/ Larry Downing

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Oh Dear Lord, will this doofus NEVER stop talking? Blah blah Afghanistan, blah blah Afghanistan… Somebody PLEASE hit me with a ball-peen hammer!

Oooh, if I push my fist against my lower lip like this, it hurts enough to keep me awake… Good to know…

Didn’t this guy run for president and lose? Why do I have to give a fat crap what he says? Didn’t I win?

I wanna be out there doin’ the hula hoop with Michelle on the lawn… Look, she’s having a great time.

“Hey, Michelle! Come in here for a minute and listen to What’s-His-Name! He’s real interesting! Give ME that hula hoop!”

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President Barack Obama meets in the Oval Office with Senator John Kerry,  who recently returned from Afghanistan, Oct. 21, 2009. Official White House Photo by Pete Souza

First lady Michelle Obama hula hoops with kids at the White House Healthy Kids Fair on the South Lawn, October 21, 2009. REUTERS/Larry Downing

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Blog Guy, I want some White House insider information. What do guests normally drink when they go to an Oval Office meeting?

Well, I’ve blown up a portion of a high-resolution photo released by the White House, and you can see a typical tray of drinks being passed around. I can try to guess what they are, unless you expect accuracy…

No, I expect virtually nothing from your blog.

Hey, thanks. Okay, that clear glass, I’m going to say that’s a good vodka, maybe Ketel One. Then let’s see, a couple of tumblers of a single malt Scotch, I think Laphroig. In-between, that red drink looks like a big shot of 40-year-old port.

What about the two coffee cups?

Hard to tell, but I’m going with a Cordon Bleu cognac, for cautious guests who don’t want to look like they’re drinking alcohol in their Oval Office souvenir photo.

Blog Guy, what are you basing this on? Why do you think the most influential people on earth, sitting in the president’s office, would just be getting s**tfaced on expensive booze?

I’m just going by what I’d do if I were the president.

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A guest selecting a beverage during a meeting in the Oval Office, September 29, 2009. (Official White House photo by Pete Souza)

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Blog Guy, as someone who is interested in government, I’m wondering if you can find me a photo of President Barack Obama and his whole cabinet together.

Heck, I can find you an OFFICIAL one! Here is an OFFICIAL photo of Obama, Vice President Joe Biden and the whole cabinet, taken just a few days ago.

What’s the difference? I mean, what’s official about it?

Well, an UNOFFICIAL one might have some bogus characters in it, like Dick Van Dyke or Urkel or Archie and Veronica, but this one is guaranteed to be the OFFICIAL deal.

Wow! What’s it cost to produce a thing like that?

A lot. There are 23 people in the shot. Say it took an hour to shoot and they make at least DC minimum wage of $8.25 an hour, that’s $189.75, plus the photographer, and the processing down at the Rite Aid.

I think you’re looking at $240 of your tax money here, but that’s a small price to pay for something official.

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Above: President Barack Obama and Vice President Joe Biden pose with the full Cabinet for an official group photo in the East Room of the White House on Sept. 10, 2009. White House Photo/Chuck Kennedy

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“Hello? What? Yes, this is Mr. Obama speaking.

“No, it’s not pronounced like the bama in Alabama, it sounds like… I’m kinda busy, what’s this about?

“Well, I’m in a parking garage now, and I am getting good reception.

“Huh? You’ve noticed my roaming charges are high? Yeah, I guess I’d be interested in a cheaper plan…

“Wait a minute! So I can’t qualify for your ‘Home or Roam’ plan because I don’t live in a residential neighborhood?

“I don’t CARE if your records show my house is zoned for office use! Do I own or rent? Look, I just live there for free!”

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President Barack Obama talks on a phone in the parking garage before a rally on health insurance reform at the University of Maryland in College Park, Maryland, September 17, 2009. REUTERS/ Larry Downing

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Readers have asked what I thought of Friday’s national Day of Service, in which President Barack Obama helped paint a house to show his strong support for volunteer work.

It’s great that the first family set such a fine example, but I noticed all these people standing outside the house where the president was working, holding signs saying how much they love Obama…

That made me wonder, what with Barack and Michelle working so hard inside, if these folks maybe could have found a better use of their own Day of Service time than just standing around with signs.

I also found a curious Reuters photo from the event. Since I don’t know what was going on, I’m going to pretend I’m with CNN and just imagine it:

“Yo! Skinny! You with the roller! Is that what you call painting?”

“Well, I’m doing my very best…”

“That isn’t good enough, Slick! Look, there’s a hole in the wall now! What do you do in real life, Buddy?”

“I work in government.”

“Hah! That explains a whole lot!”

“I’m sorry about the hole. Uh, can I have your name? I want to schedule you for an early death panel visit”

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Above: Washington, DC residents wait to catch a glimpse of President Barack Obama and first lady Michelle Obama, September 11, 2009.

Left: Obama paints a room at a home being constructed by Habitat for Humanity in Washington, DC, September 11, 2009.

REUTERS photos, Jason Reed

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Blog Guy, you’ve got great sources for news of President Obama. Is it true he loves to fish?

Yeah. He did some trout fishing in Montana recently, but he confided that his true passion is Office Fishing.  In the Oval Office he loves to pull out the old fishin’ poll and see what he can reel in. Of course, lots of it has to be thrown back.

Because it’s too small?

No, too valuable. He’s already snagged the Lincoln Bible, Jefferson’s diary, Clinton’s cigar box and other priceless bits of Americana.

Does he ever get any fish?

Yes. His staff likes to keep him happy, so they sneak fish products onto the hook for him to find.

You know, it’s like, “Oh Look, Mr. President, you got some Mrs. Paul’s Frozen Fish Sticks! And a bottle of tartar sauce, too!”

Or like, “Wow! A can of Bumblebee Solid White Albacore, two-for-one! Way to go, sir!”

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President Barack Obama hooks a trout in this official handout photo taken August 14, 2009 and later released by the White House.

Obama tries out the fly fishing rod given to him by a group of fisherman on his staff.

REUTERS/Pete Souza/The White House/Handouts

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Quick quiz: Former president Bill Clinton is saying to President Barack Obama…

a) I’m not kidding you, Barack, at Quiznos they’ve got a Primo Meatball sub THIS long, full of seasoned meatballs and zesty marinara!

b) PLEASE act like you’re listening to me, Barack! I don’t wanna have to talk to Hillary and George!

c) So that Kim Jong-il dude has a pumpkin head this big! It’s SO gross!

d) Psssst! Barack, this is a Catholic service - I’m pretty sure it’s time to applaud!

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Former president Bill Clinton talks with President Barack Obama during funeral services for Senator Edward Kennedy in Boston, August 29, 2009. REUTERS/ Brian Snyder

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Okay, here is a remarkable shot of Barack and Michelle Obama together.

I mean, to me it looks like all of a sudden he shifted from being the president into some kind of Rodney Dangerfield stand-up routine, and Michelle is horrified and doesn’t know how to react.

“I tell ya, my wife, she can’t cook.  At my house, we pray AFTER we eat!”

“Barack, what are you doing? You’re supposed to be talking about U.S.-China relations…”

“My wife here, she’s so slow it takes her an hour and a half to watch ’60 Minutes…’”

“Uh, darling, can I see you in the hallway for a minute?”

“Thanks, folks, you’ve been a wonderful audience. I’ll be here all week.”

“Not necessarily, dearest, if you make one more of those stupid wife jokes…”

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U.S. President Barack Obama and first lady Michelle Obama participate in a reception for ambassadors at the White House in Washington, July 27, 2009. REUTERS/Jason Reed

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Blog Guy, I see footage of the Secret Service guarding President Obama. It looks like a HUGE task. Has any country found a better way to protect its leaders?

A good question. Yes, of all places, Russia has. Their President, Dmitry Medvadev, protects himself.

Excuse me?

As you can see here, he takes an arsenal everyplace he goes. It seems to do the trick. He carries rifles, pistols, hand grenades, a flame-thrower, and has a Bowie knife clenched in his teeth, except when he’s giving a speech.

That’s positively amazing! What a cool guy!.That’s the kind of leader WE need. I’m running over to get that guy’s autograph!

Uh, I wouldn’t if I were you.

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Top: Russia’s President Dmitry Medvedev takes aim during a visit to the Rayevsky firing range in Novorossiisk in the Southern Federal District, July 14, 2009. REUTERS/ RIA Novosti/ Kremlin/Vladimir Rodionov

Left: Medvedev holds a Kalashnikov rifle in a 2008 file photo. REUTERS/Alexander Zemlianichenko/Pool

Left bottom: Medvedev takes aim while on his trip to Russia’s southern region of Dagestan June 9, 2009. REUTERS/RIA Novosti/Kremlin/ Mikhail Klimentyev

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