Blog Guy, I know you’ve written books about presidential protocol and tradition, and I want to make sure I have this right. President Barack Obama is the commander-in-chief, so everybody has to salute him and he doesn’t have to salute anyone, right?

No, that’s a common misconception.

Really! Who does he have to salute?

For starters, anyone who is in the Baseball Hall of Fame, as you can see here.

I didn’t know! Who else?

All Heisman Trophy winners, as long as they’re not in prison.

And?

The Maitre d’ at Citronelle restaurant in DC, and Ms. Doris Johnson of 2268 Elm Street in Muncie, plus the  original members of The Eagles when they’re on tour, and the…

Blog Guy, I’m skeptical. Where are you getting this list?

Are you kidding? It’s in the U.S. Constitution. Or you can read my Wikipedia piece called, “Meet Don Henley, Mr. President.”

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Above: President Barack Obama salutes St. Louis Cardinals Hall of Fame baseball player Lou Brock after throwing out the first pitch prior to the start of Major League Baseball’s All-Star game in St. Louis, July 14, 2009. REUTERS/Morry Gash/Pool

Right: Obama salutes Hall of Fame players before throwing out the ceremonial first pitch. REUTERS/Mike Stone

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Hey, Barack, you see what I deed when they took that group peeksure?

No Dimitry, I guess I missed that.

Heh heh heh… I poot my finger like thees, so it looks like I am peeking my nose! Watch for eeet when the drugstore sends us the prints.

Dimitry, you’re a rascal! Are G8 summits always this goofy?

Sure, Barack! I’ve got a meelion novelty gags. Here, let me show you - shake my hand!

No thanks, Dimitry. Not until you wash it…

Oh, you’re a smart one, Barack. Look there, somebody has barfed on the floor! Oh! Eeeet eees only rubber!

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U.S. President Barack Obama and Russia’s President Dimitry Medvedev laugh after a family photo at the G8 summit in L’Aquila, Italy July 10, 2009. REUTERS/ Chris Wattie

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It’s time once again for an episode of our popular feature, Stuff Maybe We Should Have Mentioned in the Caption, But Didn’t.

Yesterday they shot the group photo of the world leaders who participated in a summit in L’Aquila, Italy.

Our actual caption on this photo here tells us that President Barack Obama and French President Nicolas Sarkozy  “take their places with junior G8 delegates for a family photo…”

I guess it didn’t occur to us to mention that something far more interesting is going on here, and that Obama and Sarkozy aren’t giving their fullest attention to finding their places for the group photo.

I don’t believe that chick is the leader of a country, not even a little-bitty one, so she must be one of those “junior delegates.”

I couldn’t find her in the group photo of the real leaders, but maybe she was voted out of office just before they snapped the picture.

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U.S. President Barack Obama (C) and France’s President Nicolas Sarkozy (R) take their places with junior G8 delegates for a family photo at the G8 summit in L’Aquila, Italy, July 9, 2009. REUTERS/Jason Reed

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Happy July 4th, Blog Guy. I just saw an Abe Lincoln statue made of cheese. Isn’t that disrespectful?

No. If you know your history, you know Lincoln was a passionate cheese enthusiast.

It was Abe who pushed the bounds of home entertaining by rolling up cheese and pecans together, creating the popular cheese log.

HE did that?

Sure. He called them Lincoln Logs.  He also pioneered new forms of smelly Limburger Cheese, making his own pungent recipe.

Uh-oh. What was that called?

What do you think? “Stinkin’ Lincoln.”

Apart from the “Gettysburg Address,” Lincoln’s most famous speech was his 1863 “Homage to Fromage.” And, his 1864 presidential campaign slogan was ”He’s not just gouda, he’s grate!”

You’re right, I do recall something about that. What was that phrase he used to predict the mass popularity of cheese?

He called it a “feta compli.”

Gosh Blog Guy, you seem to know quite a few cheese-related puns.

Well, I don’t like to boast, but they do call me the “Münster Punster.”

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Cheez-It commissioned 700-pound life-size cheddar cheese carving of Abraham Lincoln, on display near the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, July 3, 2009. REUTERS/Ray Stubblebine/Cheez-It/Handout

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It’s me, Blog Guy, the aspiring photojournalist you’ve been mentoring. Congratulate me, I just shot my first presidential event, and here’s my shot! What do you think?

Um, it’s pretty much in focus, I’ll say that for it.

And?

Good use of depth-of-field. I like those lights in the background.

Thanks. What else? Don’t be afraid to be critical.

Well, I was just wondering, did  you shoot from the same angle as the other photographers?

Funny you should ask. I barely saw them - they were standing across the room, in FRONT of the President, which seemed funny to me. I bet they got nothing but crap.

No doubt. You just keep doing what you’re doing. Someday this photo could be on the front of the Obama $1,000 bill. Or on the back of it, at least.

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President Barack Obama discusses fatherhood and mentoring at an event in the East Room of the White House, June 19, 2009. REUTERS/ Larry Downing

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Blog Guy, have you seen that video of President Barack Obama killing a fly with his bare hands?

Sure. I’ve watched it 82 times so far. It’s important footage because of the history of presidents and insects.

This has happened before?

Yes. There was the famous cicada attack on George W. Bush about five years ago, as you can see in this photo. That ended when the Secret Service wrestled it to the ground.

I also recall a story about Bill Clinton and his fly, but that may be a different sort of deal.

That’s interesting. I was afraid you were going to talk about Richard Nixon’s bugs.

Oh please. That would be much too obvious. 

Watch the video

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President George W. Bush is chased by a cicada as he walks up the steps to Air Force One, May 25, 2004. REUTERS/Larry Downing

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Ooookay, guys, I’ll admit it was a dumb idea to just drop by the ambassador’s residence here in Paris without calling first, but who knew he’d be out on a weeknight?

Y’know, he told me to come by if I was ever in France, but I guess folks always say that.

I even got him a bottle of duty-free Sambuca at the airport, too. Let’s give him five more minutes - I bet he just went up to the corner for some gum.

These concrete steps are really uncomfortable. Herb, go jiggle that doorknob and see if he left it unlocked. Maybe we can find some leftovers in the kitchen.

I’ll tell you one thing, this is the LAST time I go overseas without planning some stuff in advance!

You guys wanna go see some more damned paintings? Yeah, me neither…

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President Barack Obama talks to aides as he sits on the steps of the U.S. Ambassador’s residence in Paris in this handout photo taken June 7, 2009 and later released by the White House. REUTERS/Pete Souza

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Mr. Spielberg, I know we didn’t plan to make any more Indiana Jones movies, but this opportunity is just too good to pass up.

Forget about Harrison Ford. We’re recasting the part with - are you ready? - President Barack Obama!

We’ve already done some screen tests, and he looks PERFECT in the hat! And as you’ll see, he was BORN to say the classic Indy line, “I don’t know, I’m making this up as I go”

But here’s the neatest part, Mr. Spielberg, Obama has actually submitted his own script!

It’s not bad. It has Nazis and Commies and aliens, and then in the big climax he gets them all into a room and calls for “new beginning.”

Just picture it, Mr. Spielberg, he cracks his whip and says, “This cycle of suspicion and discord must end.” And then the credits roll…

Oh. Well, okay, I guess he wouldn’t mind if we reworked it just a bit, Mr. Spielberg.

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President Barack Obama tours the Egyptian Great Pyramids of Giza, and the Sphinx in handout photos taken June 4, 2009 outside of Cairo and later released by the White House. REUTERS/Pete Souza/The White House/Handout

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Blog Guy, can you clear something up for me? I saw photos of President Barack Obama and other major European leaders at the D-Day ceremonies in France, but there is one guy in a uniform who isn’t identified.

Yes, I noticed that, too. I believe he is Captain Kangaroo.

Excuse me? Why would Captain Kangaroo be with world leaders?

He was a war hero in World War II, fighting alongside actor Lee Marvin. So it makes sense.

Not really, since a) that Lee Marvin/Captain Kangaroo urban legend has been widely debunked, and b) Captain Kangaroo is dead and c) you’re a total moron!

You know, I think Captain Kangaroo was a NAVY captain, so it must be someone else. Maybe he’s the head of the military junta that runs Belgium. I’m glad I was able to help.

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Above left: Captain Kangaroo

Left: France’s President Nicolas Sarkozy speaks with U.S. President Barack Obama as they walk with Britain’s Prince Charles, Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper and British Prime Minister Gordon Brown before a ceremony in France to mark the 65th anniversary of D-Day, on June 6, 2009. REUTERS/Eric Feferberg/Pool

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This photo from yesterday, showing a presidential snack, has me baffled.

See, the president just landed in Germany on Air Force One. He gets off the plane and into his limo, and suddenly, HE’S EATING A CANDY BAR!

Hold on! They don’t have food for him on his plane? Was there a vending machine on the tarmac and he just couldn’t resist some rich chocolaty nougat goodness, or what?

“I’m sorry Mr. President, but the captain has begun his descent. Food service has ended. You’ll have to wait until you’re on the ground.”

“But I’m the President of the United States! I can SEE a fricking pile of peanutty milk chocolate bars over there!”

“I’m sorry sir, but rules are rules. If I make an exception for one person….”

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President Barack Obama eats a snack in his limousine after he steps off Air Force One in Dresden, Germany, June 4, 2009. REUTERS/Fabrizio Bensch

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