Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Class, get out your rulers…

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Blog Guy, I’ve heard that the British Royal Family isn’t very well educated. That’s hard to believe, what with being the land of Shakespeare and everything.

Well, it turns out that when you spend all day changing into different costumes and hats and jewelry and stuff, your education can be neglected.

But to their very great credit, both Prince Charles and his wife, Camilla, have returned to what we would call grade school, to start over. I applaud them.

Here there are, on their first day, in a history class. Just think of it as Hogwarts, but with tighter security.

Armored combat for the golden prize…

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Blog Guy, everybody knows you’ve campaigned against bullfighting and other forms of animal cruelty. It’s safe to say that any event involving animal combat is inhumane, right?

Pretty much, yeah…

Pretty much? What does that mean?

Well, I must admit that now and then I fly over to Singapore to watch the Giant Tortoise Carrot Fights.

‘Tis the season to be Charlie….

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Blog Guy, you used to give us a lot more news about what those British people are up to, what with the royal wedding and everything. How about an update?

Well, they’re up to their knickers in celebrating Christmas now, of course, and they…

Staying longer with a monger?

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Blog Guy, it seemed to me that Britain’s Prince William and Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, really had to do some silly stuff on their long trip to Canada.

I mean, cowboy hats, a stagecoach, canoes, stuff like that.

Don’t worry about William and Catherine. At least they managed to avoid visiting fishmongers, which is the worst royal duty there is.

I guess it must be Sunday again?

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Lamar, come to my office for a minute.

Yeah Boss?

What’s this big stack of goofy photos I found in the wastebasket?

That’s just overflow, Boss. You know, we bought ‘em for the blog but then the writers couldn’t come up with anything clever.

So it’s the fault of the writers?

Of course, Boss. Isn’t everything?

Lamar, we can’t afford this kind of waste! What have I told you to do with leftover goofy photos?

Let me regalia with a story…

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Needless to say, we’re very excited about the big unveiling, Lamar. We hired you to design military uniforms for our newly independent country because of your reputation.

As the very best?

No, as the very cheapest. So let’s see what you’ve come up with.

Wow! I LOVE it! Braid, epaulets, sashes, brass buckles, kilts, spats, doodads, frippery, geegaws…

You could almost pass for Prince Charles!

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BRITAIN/

Ma, you wanted to see me?

Did you say MA? That is how you refer to the Queen of England now?

Sorry Ma, I meant Your Royal Highness, you wanted to see me?

Yes. We are very displeased! We have seen a popular blog using photos of you looking, how shall one describe it, GOOFY!

frame charles 340Yeah, Your Royal Highness, whenever I make a goofy face, they put me in that blog. I don’t even have to pay for it!

I say! I did not see you there, mon!

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IRISH/

Quick quiz: These photos show Britain’s Prince Charles

IRISH/a) giving a soldier a fatherly lecture on the need to wash his hair more than once a year.

b) mistaking a camouflaged sniper for the Cowardly Lion, saying, “I LOVED you in ‘The Wizard of Oz.’”

The one guy I can always depend on…

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BRITAIN/

Blog Guy, can you settle an argument with the harpsichord player in my baroque ensemble?

prince charles vertical 220Baroque ensemble? Harpsichord?  Well at least this should be a little more high-class than most of the disputes I get.

The Goofy Princess Bride?

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kate goofy this 490

Blog Guy, I guess like everyone else you’re all caught up in Britain’s royal romance between Prince William and Kate Middleton, right?

charles goof combo 280If by “all caught up” you mean I’d rather be slowly disemboweled with dirty plastic picnic utensils than hear another word about it, then sure.