Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Blog Guy, I need some help planning my funeral, although I’m not gone yet. I want one of those traditional New Orleans send-offs, complete with the “second line parade.”
You know, with the street dancing and parasols and waving hats and hankies and everything, but I need to know how much they cost.
Oh, there’s a whole price range, starting with a couple of guys waving broken umbrellas, all the way up to the “Prince of Wales Razzle-Dazzle Send-Off Royale.”
Oooooh, I want THAT one! What does it include?
As you can see in the photo, you get Prince Charles himself, and a pretty darned nice umbrella, too.
Boss! What are you doing here? You NEVER come to the Oddly Enough Blog office!
Just keeping the staff on their toes, Lamar, auditing the books.
Sure, Boss! Sit down. Somebody bring Blog Guy a doughnut! No, a CLEAN one!
Lamar, it’s almost the end of the month, and I see a stack of goofy photos we’ve paid for but haven’t used. What a waste of my goofy photo budget!
You know how it is, Boss, some of ‘em look real goofy so we buy ‘em, but then the writers can’t think of anything funny to say.
Quick quiz: This man, the heir to an actual throne in a place I bet you’ve heard of, is giggling like a simpleton over…
a) A Ricky Gervais stand-up performance
b) A Monty Python reunion show
c) A public reading of selected items from this blog
d) A tug of war
Sadly, it’s the tug of war, but there is more you need to know.
Prince Charles is attending some Highland games up in northern Scotland, and I guess a good tug of war is just about all they have to brighten their bleak lives up there.
Quick quiz: Britain’s Prince Charles, seen here in a double-breasted suit with a folded handkerchief in his pocket, is looking quizzically at…
a) A tennis match at Wimbledon
b) The races at Ascot
c) The Order of the Garter service at Windsor Castle
d) A dancer at an open-air music festival
Surprisingly, the answer is d).
I say surprisingly because you’d think, having been voted Coolest Leader Dude by readers of this blog, that Charles would have seen dancing before.
Okay, I’m finished. I used to love going out to nice restaurants with Queen Elizabeth., but I’m afraid I just don’t have the patience anymore.
I mean, she’s a very nice person and she’s good about splitting the check and everything, but who died and made her queen? There are just too many hassles.
Blog Guy, you promised to tell us what those British royals are up to. Well? Let’s hear it!
Sorry, I’ve been busy. This is peasant-hunting season over there, and the royals…
Blog Guy, I keep hearing that Prince Charles has failing eyesight. That’s sad. Is this true?
Yes, as you can see by his special eyeglass prescription, Charles….
I’m sorry, Blog Guy, I’m not going to keep being your straight man for a picture this dumb. Now, I want to know what’s really going on here.
Okay gang, you all know the deal. We’ve actually persuaded Prince Charles to endorse our brand of coffee for a TV commercial!Yeah, he said it’s only Canada so nobody will see it anywhere important, and he can use a few extra bucks.It’s a real advertising coup, but we only get one take, so it has to be perfect the first time.Now, the prince is going to just be walking along doing prince stuff, and ask for a cup of our coffee. He’ll try it, and then give us a big smile of delight.Oh my God! This is our one take? This is supposed to make people buy this crap?Well, we’ve paid for it so we have to use it, but at least edit out that last few seconds where he drops to his knees and spews his lunch on the crowd.
Britain’s Prince Charles samples naturally grown coffee in traditional farmer’s market, at the Evergreen Brick Works Restoration site, in Toronto November 6, 2009. REUTERS/Fred Thornhill