Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Why do they call it the Send-Off Royale?

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Blog Guy, I need some help planning my funeral, although I’m not gone yet. I want one of those traditional New Orleans send-offs, complete with the “second line parade.”

second line charles vertical 220You know, with the street dancing and parasols and waving hats and hankies and everything, but I need to know how much they cost.

Oh, there’s a whole price range, starting with a couple of guys waving broken umbrellas, all the way up to the “Prince of Wales Razzle-Dazzle Send-Off Royale.”

Oooooh, I want THAT one! What does it include?

As you can see in the photo, you get Prince Charles himself, and a pretty darned nice umbrella, too.

You’re just wasting these goofy shots?

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Boss! What are you doing here? You NEVER come to the Oddly Enough Blog office!

BRITAINJust keeping the staff on their toes, Lamar, auditing the books.

Sure, Boss! Sit down. Somebody bring Blog Guy a doughnut! No, a CLEAN one!

Lamar, it’s almost the end of the month, and I see a stack of goofy photos we’ve paid for but haven’t used. What a waste of my goofy photo budget!

You know how it is, Boss, some of ‘em look real goofy so we buy ‘em, but then the writers can’t think of anything funny to say.

Talk to the head, Ma!

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charles gathering this 490

“Sis, I was looking in the attic at the Palace yesterday, and you won’t believe what I found! I opened this old hatbox, and there was Anne Boleyn’s head!

charles gathering crop 360“I’m serious! It’s shrunk, but it’s still about this big, and it really stinks!

I say! This is the BEST tug of war ever!

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Quick quiz: This man, the heir to an actual throne in a place I bet you’ve heard of, is giggling like a simpleton over…

tug of war vertical 220a) A Ricky Gervais stand-up performance

b) A Monty Python reunion show

c) A public reading of selected items from this blog

d) A tug of war

Sadly, it’s the tug of war, but there is more you need to know.

Prince Charles is attending some Highland games up in northern Scotland, and I guess a good tug of war is just about all they have to brighten their bleak lives up there.

I say! What does one call that?

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glastonbury charles crop 240Quick quiz: Britain’s Prince Charles, seen here in a double-breasted suit with a folded handkerchief in his pocket, is looking quizzically at…

a) A tennis match at Wimbledon

b) The races at Ascot

c) The Order of the Garter service at Windsor Castle

d) A dancer at an open-air music festival

Surprisingly, the answer is d).

I say surprisingly because you’d think, having been voted Coolest Leader Dude by readers of this blog, that Charles would have seen dancing before.

Look Bob, it’s Cheesy Nacho Night!

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Okay, I’m finished. I used to love going out to nice restaurants with Queen Elizabeth., but I’m afraid I just don’t have the patience anymore.

BRITAIN-GOVERNMENT/I mean, she’s a very nice person and she’s good about splitting the check and everything, but who died and made her queen? There are just too many hassles.

When the peasants are running in Piccadilly Circus…

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BRITAIN/

Blog Guy, you  promised to tell us what those British royals are up to. Well? Let’s hear it!

Sorry, I’ve been busy. This is peasant-hunting season over there, and the royals…

Hey, you’re getting your prince all over my binoculars!

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Blog Guy, I keep hearing that Prince Charles has failing eyesight. That’s sad. Is this true?

goofy crop vertical 200Yes, as you can see by his special eyeglass prescription, Charles….

I’m sorry, Blog Guy, I’m  not going to keep being your straight man for a picture this dumb. Now, I want to know what’s really going on here.

I say dear, have those voices returned?

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Quick quiz: Prince Charles’ wife, Camilla, is seen here reacting violently upon learning…

a) The guy who “married” them was not an actor, but was in fact a real clergyman

You commoners drink this crap?

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Okay gang, you all know the deal. We’ve actually persuaded Prince Charles to endorse our brand of coffee for a TV commercial!Yeah, he said it’s only Canada so nobody will see it anywhere important, and he can use a few extra bucks.It’s a real advertising coup, but we only get one take, so it has to be perfect the first time.Now, the prince is going to just be walking along doing prince stuff, and ask for a cup of our coffee. He’ll try it, and then give us a big smile of delight.Oh my God! This is our one take? This is supposed to make people buy this crap?Well, we’ve paid for it so we have to use it, but at least edit out that last few seconds where he drops to his knees and spews his lunch on the crowd.

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Britain’s Prince Charles samples naturally grown coffee in traditional farmer’s market, at the Evergreen Brick Works Restoration site, in Toronto November 6, 2009. REUTERS/Fred Thornhill

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