Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
The best goofy but true stories from 2011
As I said recently in a post which began a countdown to tomorrow’s final entry in this blog, one of the things I have enjoyed most is presenting stories that are goofy but true.
Sure, it’s fun to make up funny stuff and riff on news photos, but real life often finds a way to top me.
Here are my seven favorite TRUE stories featured in my blog this year.
7. Come over to my yard for a fling?
We’ve had fun with an epidemic of consumer product recalls this year, but I still break out laughing over this one, a hammock that was recalled because its wooden stand may break ““if left outdoors.”
Maybe the worst idea EVER?
People ask me where I get all the stupid stuff in this blog, and I have to say, honestly, the best of it is straight out of the news.
Here’s an example. According to an Associated Press story, officials in Georgia are considering saving money by putting prisoners in fire stations.
According to the story, the inmates would respond to all emergencies, including residential fires, alongside “traditional” firefighters.
I guess “traditional” in this sense means men and women who haven’t been convicted of a felony.
The story also says the “traditional” firefighters, who apparently don’t have enough to do in the middle of a roaring blaze, would be trained to guard the inmates working with them.
I am not making this up.
@CrowGirl, I completely agree. Although I like to let them burn themselves out. It’s more natural that way.
Repeat after me, “Fill the bag with money!”
Blog Guy, you know that odd city in Siberia that you call Wackytown? I’d like to visit it on one of your organized tours, but I’m wondering how many people there speak English?
You’re talking about Krasnoyarsk. I do know they do have English Language classes at a high security prison camp.
Really? What sort of English are they teaching to prison inmates?
Well, here on the right is a chart used in the class. You can see useful words such as disarrange, unhappy, misinform… You know, as in, “If you misinform me I will be unhappy, and I shall have to disarrange your face!”
Yikes! Is that a good idea? Are they teaching them whole phrases, too?
Let’s blow up a section of the chart, and see. Class, repeat after me, “Must I go to the BANK? We haven’t got any MONEY.”
Hey, there’s thuggage in your luggage!
Blog Guy, it’s July 6. Isn’t that the date you usually announce the coveted Doofus of the Year Award?
Indeed, but it was complicated this year. A last-minute entry snatched the title from someone I thought had an absolute lock on it.
So? So? The winner is?
Some guy who tried to escape from a Mexican prison zipped up in a suitcase, after a conjugal visit by his girlfriend.
How did this EVER seem like a good plan? I mean, was his visitor going to say, “Guards, I’m ready to go now. Say, can you help me with this extremely large, bulging suitcase I brought in for a one-hour conjugal visit?”
“Si, Señorita! This is a VERY fine suitcase! This is the kind you can push down the stairs, like this, and shoot with a pistol, like this, and set on fire, like this, and it still works, no?”
maybe the Mexican prison system could hire this guy to handle any outgoing suitcases http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=749iU2Zv1 kw&feature=related 
Wouldn’t hanging them be more humane?
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Blog Guy, I read somewhere that you’re an authority on prisoner rehabilitation programs.
Well, yes, but only the really wacky ones that make no sense at all to me. For instance, here’s one where they teach prisoners to play bagpipes.
It’s true. They take hardened criminals, who are already a not very popular group of people, and teach them to be even more irritating. And it isn’t just bagpipes. Some of them learn to play large drums.
What’s the theory behind this program?
According to our photo caption, the idea is to “involve them in various social functions so as to change their mindset.” As we all know, annoying people until they snap is a great way to make useful contacts in the outside world.
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Resident Oddly Enough blog Expert
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Now where am I going to go to decompress my crowded mind? WHERE???