Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Hey Blog Guy, it’s me!
You really EXIST? I always thought those conversations were just voices in my head.
I can’t believe you don’t even recognize me. I’ve been working for you for years, playing the dumb guy, acting the straight man in the comedy team while you got all the laughs, being annoyed by your misinformation and puns, and now that your blog is ending in a couple of weeks, you want nothing to do with me?
Jeez, what suddenly made you so bold?
Bold? Really? Typeface humor? Not that you care, but italic type was first used in 1501.
Blog Guy, I want to order one of those elaborate fantasy photos you set up for your readers. You know, the really strange stuff, like that hotel suite with chocolate furniture, and like Sylvester Stallone’s bathroom, and…
What did you have in mind?
Blog Guy, I gather from your recent posts that you’re a big fan of Siri, the personal assistant on the new iPhone 4S who carries on conversations with users?
So, have you gotten to know her personally?
Well, I don’t like to boast, but as you can see from this screen grab, yes. Siri sent me her personal, private phone number.
Blog Guy, not to bring up a depressing topic, but have you made plans for what will be done with your body when you die?
I’m arranging that now, thanks to several readers who sent me info about a company called Holy Smoke. They put your cremated ashes into shotgun shells or rifle cartridges, so your friends can shoot you off. Even in death, you can be helping to kill some poor creature.
Blog Guy, I’m looking for a new career and I know your advice is the best. I picked up a colorful brochure called, “The Exciting World of Battlefield Rocket Repair,” and I was wondering if you think that’s a good way to go?
Blog Guy, have you seen that amazing new book about former first lady Jacqueline Kennedy, the one taken from hours of taped interviews with her just months after her husband was assassinated?
Excuse me? Are we talking about the same book?
Sure. I’m not even finished with it, and already I’m struck by her vivid chowder memories of Jack Kennedy:
Blog Guy, my tax guy’s taxidermist told me something really creepy. He has close ties to the animal kingdom.
You mean from stuffing and mounting them?
Blog Guy, everybody knows you’ve campaigned against bullfighting and other forms of animal cruelty. It’s safe to say that any event involving animal combat is inhumane, right?
Pretty much, yeah…
Pretty much? What does that mean?