Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

No running on the tightrope, kids!

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Blog Guy, can you tell me some stuff about high wire?

You mean the 50th state, home to President Obama?

That is the worst pun I’ve ever read. I’m talking HIGH WIRE, like in the circus.

Well, I know that just PLAIN tightrope walking is for sissy weenies these days. These photos show guys competing in a high wire SPEED RACE.

Awesome! So that high wire speed racing is the new macho thing?

It is if you don’t think you can cut it in the MAIN event, Speed Racing Blindfolded on a Flaming Gas-Soaked Tightrope in a Lightning Storm Amid 2,500 Dive-Bombing Rabid Bats.

I see. Hey, what’s that thing left behind on the wire by the guy who dropped his bar?

Looks like Miami, only Frenchier!

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Blog Guy, you have written lots about exotic homes of the world’s leaders. Interesting stuff about 10 Downing Street, where Britain’s prime minister lives, and your amazing look at the unique home of Russia’s president. Can you tell us about other official residences, please?

Lots of them are named for colors, like our White House, South Korea’s Blue House, and Canada’s Pink House, the prime minister’s Ottawa home, named for the pink flamingos all over the lawn.

To bee or not to bee?

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Blog Guy, I was interested in the item you had with the dude dressed like an angel to pick up hot chicks. I think that’s what I need, some kind of a new gimmick.

Have you thought of covering your body with 50,000 live bees?

Would that work?

Are you kidding? Chicks LOVE bees! You show up at happy hour looking like this guy, you’re golden! Just practice this classic pickup line: “Would you care to go back to my residence and enjoy my bees and my tennis shoes?”

You can shoot her Tilda cows come home…

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Blog Guy, it’s me again, the aspiring photojournalist you’ve been helping. I know shooting photos of celebrities is a huge part of news photography, and I think I’m ready. Who is THE hardest celeb to photograph?

I’m thinking that would have to be Tilda.

Tilde? That squiggly punctuation mark?

No. TILDA! Swinton!

That British actress who was in…um… whatever she was in?

She’s the one.

That seems strange. Why?

Just look at all these attempts in our photo archive. I gather she moves her head up and down so you can never get a full frame, and she makes horrible faces.

AFLAC this, insurance duck!

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Blog Guy, I know you follow the advertising business. I was wondering if successful ad campaigns in the States work well overseas, as well?

Not always. You know those insurance commercials where that obnoxious duck keeps saying “AFLAC!” until you want to wring its neck?

A slice of Baracklava and a warm hat, please!

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Blog Guy, what did you think of President Obama’s tour of Europe? I was very moved when I saw that somebody in Turkey had done his image on a baklava.

You mean one of those Russian stringed instruments?

Sigh. No, that’s a BALALAIKA. Here’s a picture of Vladimir Putin playing one. The Obama portrait I’m talking about was done on a BAKLAVA.

How do you stay so thin, Mr. President?

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Blog Guy, I see President Obama seems to be going to every country in Europe.

Get a clue! Obama himself went to a couple of important countries, then flew home. Now they’re just shipping cardboard cutouts around so the leaders of other nations can have photo opportunities.

The cutouts stand in front of a cardboard version of Air Force One, pose with some locals, and then they’re quickly put back into their flat travel carton.

We’re lounging against The Man!

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Today’s political protesters don’t seem to have the commitment we saw in the turbulent 20th century. I’ve ranted about golf-playing protesters, radicals who don’t quite get it, and protesters who only rally in historical costumes.

But this may be the worst. A photo of guys demonstrating against the G20 summit, IN FRICKING DECK CHAIRS!

Stupid fashion: accessory to the crime?

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Blog Guy, I love  your fashion coverage, but please write more about accessories.

You’re right. As the lady in “Steel Magnolias” said, “The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize.” This season, it’s garden gloves. See how much better this outfit looks by adding big honking weed-pullers?

Hey, look at that cute breadhead!

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Blog Guy, I heard the newest fashion fad is wearing bread on your head. Is that true?

Absolutely! At Milan Fashion Week, “head bread” was the toast of the show.