Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Look, it’s haute cooture!

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Blog Guy, I need some fashion advice. I’m an old geezer, and I’m wondering who makes designer clothes for guys in my profession.

They really still have geezers?

Sure they do! I mean, we call ourselves geezers, but you might know us as old fogies, fossils, the town coot… It’s all the same.

Sort of like that dude in ZZ Top huh? Well then, you should have a look at these new geezer creations from Buenos Aires Fashion Week.

Those look perfect, thanks! I need some duds for my job as a tour guide at the National Whittlin’ Museum. We geezers are very dependable workers.

Draw your weapons!

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Blog Guy, the police in England didn’t used to carry guns, but someone told me it’s different now.

It has changed slightly. Police are now allowed to carry a photo or a drawing of a pistol to use against criminals.

Some haute for your goat?

Blog Guy, I need fashion help. I’m a satyr.

You mean like that Jewish dinner?

No, that’s a Seder. I’m half man, half goat, and I’d like to find something nice to wear. I’ve been interested in fashion since I was a kid.

A KID? Wow, that word works for both the human AND goat parts of you!

Yes, I thought you’d like that. Can you help me?

Sure. Take a look at this crap from Paris Fashion Week. It’s just the thing.

Junior! Speak of the Devil!

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Say, Roy, you got any kids?

Yeah, three. My daughter’s a professor at NYU, my son’s an economist, and my other son’s studying to be Satan. We’re real proud of…

Excuse me, Roy. Did you say Satan?

Yeah, they got a School for Satan over there someplace. It’s sort of like a Santa Claus deal – Satan has a lot of little helpers.

It’s lovely weather for a clayride together with you!

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Blog Guy, whatever happened to Gumby after his long career as an entertainer?

I think you’ll be very surprised. My private detectives have tracked the reclusive clay figure to China, where he now works pulling a rickshaw.

No way!

Way! Oh, he’s matured a bit, gotten tan from the outdoor work, grown a mustache and often wears a straw hat to cover that head hump, but it’s the same dude.

Don’t make me take this tape off, punk!

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Blog Guy, I know we equip our police with the best weapons over here, but there must be other places where police have to make do with inferior arms?

Sure. You take the Philippines. They can’t afford guns with a fancy safety on them, so they cover their barrels with masking tape in case they go off accidentally.

Pudding up the decorations

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Blog Guy, I have 35 seconds to spare. Show me something really peculiar to put me in the holiday mood.

I have just the thing for you. Check out 35 seconds of video of this couple that decorated their hedge to look like a Christmas pudding.

Take a Willy Wonka vacation!

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Blog Guy, I was amazed by your item about the two Taj Mahals. I’m planning a trip to exotic Machu Picchu. How many of those are there?

Counting the chocolate one?

Wait! There’s a chocolate one?

Sure. Here’s a photo. Many popular tourist places are being replicated in dessert form these days, since folks are tired of the real thing. For instance, the best Big Ben is a chocolate one in Italy.

Mabel, Mabel, strong and able, get your big feet off the table!

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Blog Guy, I went to a fancy banquet in China, and I could swear I saw human footprints on the tablecloth. Was that just my imagination?

No.¬† I’m pretty sure that’s how they set the dinner tables over there, with a guy walking around on top.

Hit the trenches! Falling wenches!

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Blog Guy, I was fascinated by your report from the Millionaire Fair. What else can you say about what those wacky rich people are up to?

It seems rich folks don’t like to go up to a bar for drinks, so now chicks drop upside-down from the ceiling to fill their glasses.