Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Navel maneuvers: innie excuse for a party!

Photo

belly-2-160.jpg Okay folks, we have to come up with a festival to attract tourists, and pretty much everything has already been taken. Other towns have claimed every crop, animal, saint and body part, so we need some brainstorming. Some serious navel gazing.

Hey! Navel gazing! You thinking what I’m thinking?  How about a Bellybutton Festival! There would be instant interest, because lots of folks have navels. What? EVERYBODY has one? Well that’s even better!

Who doesn’t enjoy seeing a bunch of  freakishly fat guts with faces painted on them? It’ll be like Carnival in Rio, but you know, with less samba dancing.

And the best thing is, we’ll no longer depend on overflow from that Large Intestine Festival over in the next town. It’s time to cut the cord!

Hamming it up at theater in the round?

Photo

meat-2-200-0720.jpgFor the second time in a week, I’m presenting Things Maybe We Should Have Explained in a Caption, but Didn’t.

I have no choice, what with finding photos of a stage drama in which the caption tells us an actor is “dressed in meat.” Say what?

So I say ‘Hu’s on first?’ and then you say…

Photo

sarkozy-hands-200.jpgBlog Guy, I read your post about the G8 Summit yesterday. I heard that two of the leaders did a famous comedy routine. Could that be true?

Sort of. President Bush tried to teach a variation of the famous Abbott and Costello ”Who’s on first?” sketch to China’s President Hu. But when they did the bit live, Bush asked, ”Who’s on first?” and Hu just said “I am?” It went downhill from there.

Hooray for the red, white and bleu!

Photo

cheez-160.jpgBlog Guy, since this is July 4th, could you tell us what the Declaration of Independence was about?

Sure. It was about cheese, as you can see in this one-ton cheese statue of the signing.

The Monumental Ironic Colonic!

Photo

enema-statue-160.jpgA frequent theme here is the sad plight of places that have no cable television, and must resort to other forms of entertainment. I’ve reported on singing dingossofa races and worse. But now, I may have hit rock bottom. 

In Russia, they just unveiled a bronze monument to, uh, the enema. I am not making this up. A health spa specializing in illnesses of the digestive tract commissioned a $42,000 statue of cherubs carrying an enema syringe. When balloons lifted a red drape into the sky this week, there it was

Salmon-chanted evening…

Photo

salmon-horiz-180.jpgFrom Scotland comes news that a fashion designer is selling bikinis made from salmon skin. I’m serious. I have to ask whether this is a great idea.

For starters, there’s the smell. No matter how sexy a bikini is, the lingering scent of Evening on Fisherman’s Wharf is not a turn-on for most guys.

Doberman Gang, move over!

Photo

dortmund-bulldog-1-160.jpgBlog Guy, I know you’ve written about those crazy German highways with no speed limits. I recently heard that they even let dogs drive. My friend saw one smoking a big cigar and driving 140 miles an hour!

Sounds like he saw the Stogie Doggies of Dortmund, among the worst of the dog gangs.

Doc is the only puma in Yuma…

Photo

puma-2-180.jpgBlog Guy, I’m new here, and my donkey has a bad toothache. Can you recommend a dentist?

Welcome to Arizona. I checked your policy, and your donkey is only covered for dental work if it’s done by a puma. That’d be old Doc Cougar, up on the hill.

Must be a mouth-to-mouth resuscitation class!

Photo

kiss.jpgHere in America, we have a saying, “pulling a fast one.” Let me try to give an example.

Okay. Say some French dudes gather 100 people together to set a record for a human chain of French kissing, and then start going at it.

Webbed feet lead to Web feat…

Photo

duck.jpgBlog Guy, I’ve heard that most ducks are incapable of working as fashion models. Is this true?

No, that is a canard.

Hey! Did you set this up just to amuse your readers who know that a canard is both a false rumor and a duck?