Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Oeuf! I can’t take any more puns!

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Blog Guy, I read a Reuters story about a French guy who is trying to bring caviar to the masses.

Sounds like a rough roe to hoe…

Roe to hoe? Groan. I’m going to ignore that, Blog Guy, because this is a serious story. The guy is using eggs from farmed sturgeon.

FRANCE-CAVIAR/Those are really good for you, according to a report from the sturgeon-general.

That’s enough, Blog Guy! This same French guy is also introducing some new duck dishes.

That’s incorrect. I believe it’s a canard.

I get it! Canard is duck, but is also false information. Stop these word games!

I’m sorry, I was just having some fun with you. I did read about this same dude. He has a restaurant where he plans to serve a canard-stuffed caviar dish.

Your bride is quite a ketch…

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Blog Guy, I really need some of your famous fashion help to plan my wedding. We’re getting married outdoors, at a yacht club, and the area where I wait to enter the ceremony is quite a distance from the altar.

CHINA/

I’m a very slow walker, and I’m worried my fiancé will just marry my trampy bridesmaid if I don’t get there fast enough.

I need to use the long-necked birds’ room

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GERMANY/

Blog Guy, I’m a big fan of actor Matt Damon. He’s just great in everything, and so cute. What’s he like in real life?

USA/He’s a wild man. I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but when he’s on location shooting his movies he spends his off hours with every hussy, floozy, doxy and trollop he can find.

We stayed in the Bridle Suite, and…

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Hi Debbie, thanks for stopping by. Bill and I are looking at snapshots from our summer vacation out in horse country. We just got ‘em back from the drugstore.

You still take film to the drugstore, Susie?

vaulting combo 490

Heck yes, Deb, those snapshots aren’t gonna develop themselves, are they?  Anyway, our family went  from place to place, horseback-riding every day. It was great!

If the shoe fits, hang it…

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Blog Guy, I’m a woman in need of advice. I spend 82 percent of my income on new shoes, so naturally the old ones pile up quickly. I hate to just throw out all my pumps. How can I put them to good use?

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Many women put their old shoes in picture frames and hang them on the wall. It’s very colorful. This one is in an actual art museum.

It’s a regular Hu’s Who, Blog Guy!

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Hey, Blog Guy, I’ve been looking at your photo file. You just had a shot of China’s President Hu Jintao, in Shenzhen.

Who?

Yes, Hu! He was near Macau, where that snooker player is from.

ws howe 220What?

That’s him! Si Tau Chong Wut. And while Hu was in Shenzhen, China’s premier was in Tianjin.

And the morel of this story is…

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Hey Blog Guy, you obviously know a lot about language. I just heard a strange expression, “As dumb as an Italian hunter.” What does that even mean?

CROATIAIt means incredibly dumb, is what it means. At least 17 people have been killed recently in hunting accidents in the mountains and forests of northern Italy, six of them in a single 48-hour period.

Head out on the highway, take a swordfish with you…

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Blog Guy, I know you’re an expert on the animal kingdom, and I want you to settle a bet about swordfish with my step-son’s biology teacher.  This teacher says that while swordfish are indeed fish, they do not travel by swimming.

Pay up, the teacher is right.

swordfish crop 260As you can see in this photo, swordfish travel on the back of motorcycles and motorbikes.

Then when I was six, we went to a zoo…

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USA/

Blog Guy, I’m starting to get scared about this Apocalypse thing you keep writing about. A few days ago it was people trying to auction off embalming tools used on Elvis Presley. What next? Can the signs get any worse than that?

USA/Indeed they can, and they have.

Oh my God! There’s another sign? What have you seen now? Don’t sugar-coat it!

Majestic swan or Mafia thug? You decide!

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AUSTRIA/

Blog Guy, I know you study organized crime. What’s this I hear about an upstart gang moving in on the rackets?

That would be the Swan Gang. Very nasty. Don’t mess with them.

Swans? Those magnificent birds? But they’re beautiful!

swan crop 280Not when they’re in your face threatening to burn down your linen supply business. Look at this undercover police photo of their godfather, Swan Corleone, intimidating folks at Swan Lake.