Oddly Enough Blog

The stuff dream photos are made of…

Hey, Blog Guy, I’m here! Do  you recognize me?

I am in the presence of the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come?

No, you dimwit. This isn’t “A Christmas Carol.” I’m the guy who sets up all those great fantasy photos for your readers, so I’m sorry to see it’s going away.

Well, thanks for all your good work. You’ve pulled off pictures I would have thought impossible, especially the ones involving world leaders.

You’re much too kind, Blog Guy. With the huge budget you gave me, let’s just say miracles could be performed.

I loved that time you got Nicolas Sarkozy to grab…

You’re Putin that drill in my mouth?

Blog Guy, you haven’t updated us on Ronald Basler recently. You remember, you keep getting his spam at your e-mail address?

Things seemed to be looking better for him the last time, what with getting a Russian bride and taking a Napa getaway and everything.

Yeah, it’s hard to say which way Ron’s life is going these days. Too many mixed signals from his spam.

On the one hand, it looks like somebody will pay him to take surveys, he may get his book published and he could be driving a flashy new BMW.

But he also needs to get his windows replaced, and he’s been asked to join a “Prozac lawsuit.” That can’t be good.

Coming soon, the Sound of Stupid…

Blog Guy, I just heard about an exciting project involving your blog. Can you confirm it?

Yes, the last two years of my blog postings are being released as Blogs on Tape, so folks can listen to them in the car, on dates, during court arraignments, whenever.

That’s great! I know it’s important to get the voices right on these audio things. Who are you using?

We assembled a stellar audio team. Actor George Clooney does Blog Guy. Here you can see him cracking up during a recording session, trying to deliver the line, “What do I look like, an ornithologist?” He just loved the material.

Wow, that’s quite a coup! And the all-important voice of your sidekick, Lamar?

That would be Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin, seen here playing off of Clooney’s straight lines with his over-the-top wacky rejoinders.

A rouble for your trouble, my good man…

Blog Guy, how much does Vladimir Putin earn?

You mean as Russia’s prime minister? Not very much, I’m afraid. Why do you ask?

Well, my wife and I were on a trip recently and I’m pretty sure Putin drove our taxi in from the airport. I was just a little surprised, is all.

Yes, Putin does odd taxi shifts when things are quiet. Were you satisfied?

Oh, for sure. He drove us straight to the hotel and got our bags out of the trunk and smiled a lot. I gave him a few extra roubles.

So you would recommend his taxi to other tourists?

The worst wax job in the world?

Blog Guy, I need to make use of your legendary travel advice. I really enjoy visiting bad wax museums, but I fear I’ve exhausted the list.

Bad? I think that pretty much describes all wax museums.

Nonsense, some are much worse than others. Have you been to Lonnie’s House of Wax, in Beech Grove, Indiana? Their latest figure is either Mamie Eisenhower or Justin Bieber, you take your pick.

Okay, I guess you have a point. Have you been to the one in Tehran?

No! They have a bad wax museum?

Awful. How’s this for what appears to be a World War II tableau? Adolf Hitler, Winston Churchill, Franklin Roosevelt and, from Russia…

You gonna talk, or you gonna draw?

Blog Guy, can you please settle some bets I have with my gynecologist’s haberdasher?

Sure, I’m happy to pander to readers by settling stupid bets. What’s up?

Of all the world leaders, who has the fastest draw? I mean like if they were in a Wild West gunfight, you know.

Easy. That’s Russian Prime Minister Vladimir “Rootin’ Tootin’ Shootin’” Putin. When he says “go for it,” say your prayers.

But he’s only kidding, right?

Look at the photo above. Does it LOOK like he’s kidding?