Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
How about a greasy kebab, Your Majesty?
Blog Guy, I see Britain’s Queen Elizabeth just spent 11 days visiting Australia. That must be a huge logistical undertaking involving thousands of aides, security folks, drivers….
Nothing could be further from the truth. The queen is remarkably self-reliant, and instructed her staff “not to make a fuss over me.”
They gave her some MapQuest printouts and emergency contact numbers, and sent her on her way. Here, in this top photo, you can see her asking directions in Australia.
Wow, good for her! That’s very impressive!
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I say, madam, can you direct me to an institution where I may convert my travellers cheques?
Staying longer with a monger?
Blog Guy, it seemed to me that Britain’s Prince William and Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, really had to do some silly stuff on their long trip to Canada.
I mean, cowboy hats, a stagecoach, canoes, stuff like that.
Don’t worry about William and Catherine. At least they managed to avoid visiting fishmongers, which is the worst royal duty there is.
How the rich and powerful keep fit
Blog Guy, as someone who hangs out with the power elite, can you tell me how they manage to stay in shape? I mean, they must get free food anytime they want, so how do they cope with all that?
Good question. Powerful people usually hire other powerful people as their personal trainers.
When life is just a beer commercial…
Advertising staff, today we’re here to honor Lamar, whose work on the Guinness Stout account has been pure genius!
Gosh, thanks, Boss. You’re much too kind…
Not at all, Lamar. Who would have thought you could get photos of Barack and Michelle Obama, Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip boldly showing Guinness Stout, all in less than a week?
Then the queen says to this fishmonger…
I say, my good man, are you the local fishmonger?
You’ve come to the right plaice, your majesty. I’m the o-fish-al monger!
Well, I must say, there is a vile odor here!
You smelt something bad? Say, did you come to carp, or are you here just for the halibut? Get it? Halibut? I got a million of ‘em!
It’s called the sport of kings, your majesty
Blog Guy, you haven’t written much about Britain’s royal family since the big wedding. Please fill us in on their activities this week.
Well, Queen Elizabeth, who loves horses, watched the Preakness. Here she is enjoying the thrilling spectacle, smiling because she’s happy to see a woman jockey in the lead.
If you run out of REAL wedding news…
Blog Guy, that royal wedding is getting really close now, so how about some more of your expertise? I believe you mentioned a royal carriage would be used for Prince William and Kate?
Absolutely, and here you can see the regal vehicle, with the royal couple riding around in it for practice.
In a jam with the royal ma’am?
Blog Guy, you have to help me. That royal wedding is in two days, and I don’t know how to act around the queen! Our invite hasn’t arrived yet, but we live in rural Indiana, and mail takes a while to get here.
Um, could you even get from Indiana to England in time?
I think we could if we went first class, which I believe goes faster.
Ah, of course. Well, you’re in luck. We’ve just run yet another etiquette piece, specifically advising lower class losers on how to behave around royalty.
Unstabled threat at royal wedding?
So Blog Guy, I don’t understand why you’re devoting so much time to that wedding with Kate Middleton and that guy she’s marrying. It doesn’t seem like your kind of thing.
It wasn’t, but now it is. Let’s just say maybe I think it’s going to be more eventful than some folks expect.
The Clampetts are here, Your Majesty…
It turns out when Kate Middleton marries Britain’s Prince William in a couple of weeks, her family is going to stay someplace called the Goring Hotel while they are in London. It may be part of the Econo Lodge chain, but I could be wrong.
These photos above and below show where William’s family lives, and on the right you can see the itty-bitty place where the Middletons will be.
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