Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Drinking in bed, in an ocean of red…

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IWINE-ITALY/

Blog Guy, what happened? You kind of left us hanging. You were about to crown a new Queen of the Entire World a couple of weeks ago, and it was down to two candidates.

queen new vertical 240Remember? One was in a giant feathered headdress and the other was just back from the longest Ash Wednesday service in history.

Yes, I do remember. We interviewed both of them and it turned out they didn’t have the three things we look for in a Queen of the Entire World.

Really? What are they?

Red satin sheets, red bikini, red wine.

Maybe it would help if you made those assets clear to all the contestants.

Heck, I didn’t even know about them myself until a few minutes ago. Here you go, the new queen of the entire world, all hail, blah blah blah.

The best TV crime show on the heir?

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crime queen this 490

Okay, you know why we’re here. We owe the network one more high-concept police procedural to match our earlier hits, “Police Pope” and “Monkey See, Monkey Blue.”

crime queen 240So who’s got an idea for us to pitch? Lamar?

Well Boss, the public just can’t get enough of those crime scene¬† forensic science shows.

Shape up with our new regal regimen!

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BRITAIN/

Man, I gotta say, that was just creepy!

queen gym vertical 100What was, Lamar?

Are you kidding, Clancy? You didn’t see who was just here?

No, I was watching that Lady Gaga video on the big screen. Who was it?

Queen Elizabeth.

She was NOT!

Was too!

That IS strange. I don’t think she’s even a member here! What did she do?

She told me this machine is “jolly good for one’s quadriceps.”

You could almost pass for Prince Charles!

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BRITAIN/

Ma, you wanted to see me?

Did you say MA? That is how you refer to the Queen of England now?

Sorry Ma, I meant Your Royal Highness, you wanted to see me?

Yes. We are very displeased! We have seen a popular blog using photos of you looking, how shall one describe it, GOOFY!

frame charles 340Yeah, Your Royal Highness, whenever I make a goofy face, they put me in that blog. I don’t even have to pay for it!

Give us a big smile, your majesty!

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Say, Blog Guy, whatever happened to that coveted position you used to write about, the Queen of the Entire World?

queen of world vertical 240I remember you used to tell us whenever someone new got the title, but that motorcycle chick in the gold lamé swimsuit and stilettos seems to have reigned for some time now.