Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

I say dear, have those voices returned?

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Quick quiz: Prince Charles’ wife, Camilla, is seen here reacting violently upon learning…

a) The guy who “married” them was not an actor, but was in fact a real clergyman

b) “Duchess of Cornwall” is just sort of a sarcastic title

c) Her neighbor’s dog is sending her messages again

d) Their supposed two-hour stopover in Canada is actually an 11-day visit

Here’s a tip for readers who are easily confused. Please note our actual caption, below, indicates that the duchess is on the LEFT in this two-person photo, and is not the one in a dark suit holding an umbrella. I know, it surprised me, too.

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Camilla the Duchess of Cornwall (L) reacts as she waits for her husband Prince Charles to fire the gun on the HMCS Haida in Hamilton, Ontario, November 5, 2009. Prince Charles and Camilla are currently on an 11-day tour of Canada. REUTERS/ Fred Thornhill

One for the road? Are you fricking serious?

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Quick quiz: If you’re a jittery driver, what’s a good way to steady your nerves before you hit the road?

    get plenty of sleep practice meditation think soothing, happy thoughts enjoy a refreshing alcoholic beverage

Yeah, I thought that last one was pretty lame myself, but it turns out a politician from Ireland’s governing party has said “jumpy” drivers might benefit from having a relaxing alcoholic drink to steady their nerves.

Wearing your chandelier, dear?

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Quick quiz: This photo shows…

a) The risk of letting tall people browse in light fixture shops

b) What happens when a dimwitted assistant is told to create a “bandolier.”

c) A woman who has begun the controversial medical procedure to turn herself into a 1991 Cadillac Fleetwood

Just call him a fencing foil…

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Quick quiz: In these photos, President Barack Obama is…

a) illustrating how his new death panels will work.

b) abruptly ending a promising political career.

c) pretending to be Luke Skywalker, like every other guy on earth.

d) about to provoke the Secret Service marksmen on the White House roof.

Actually, the best thing about these lawn fencing photos is first lady Michelle Obama’s expression. It’s perfect….

“Oh dear God, who gave a toy sword to that fool? Honey, come over here, I need to talk to you for a minute about dinner! It’s IMPORTANT, sweetie-pie!”

So then Bill says to Barack…

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Quick quiz: Former president Bill Clinton is saying to President Barack Obama…

a) I’m not kidding you, Barack, at Quiznos they’ve got a Primo Meatball sub THIS long, full of seasoned meatballs and zesty marinara!

You don’t haggle at Kroger?

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Quick quiz: In this photo on the right, President Obama is saying to the Kroger manager…

    “Five bucks for clementines? I pay $3.99 at the Safeway near the White House! “What the frick is a clementine?” “Do you sell these things in heavy syrup in a can? “I’m thinkin’ of gettin’ these for my death panels. You know how many pounds it takes to kill a really old person?”

Actually, the most interesting thing that happened at that Kroger visit was when Obama took a piece of fruit and ate it in front of everybody. The White House said he paid for it “seconds later.”

These guys are special forces, huh?

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Quick quiz: The guys in this photo are…

a) Practicing an ancient Asian cure for backaches

b) Rehearsing for a production of “Oklahoma” at a men’s penitentiary

c) Still trying to get the hang of a wheelbarrow race

d) Attending that annual Siamese twin convention in Raleigh

e) They’re doing – oh, PLEASE don’t make me say it here!

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South Korean special warfare command soldiers exercise before they conduct a sea infiltration drill during a photo call in Taean, South Korea, August 5, 2009. REUTERS/Choi Bu-Seok

Exotic spice is true grit!

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Quick quiz: If you have a meal in The Gulf region and can’t quite place the distinctive, piquant, exotic flavor, it’s most likely…

a) Amba, a savory mango pickle condiment

b) Cardamom seeds mixed with cumin

c) Mahlab, made from the St.Lucie Cherry

d) About 30 pounds of desert sand embedded at high speed during the cooking process

Oh, the humanity!

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Quick quiz: The most horrific road hazard faced by Tour de France riders is…

a) snipers in the trees

b) oncoming 18-wheelers

c) rabid leg-eating wolverines

d) blatant accordion music

Yes, all other hazards pale by comparison to the shameless accordion players, who can step out of the tall grass with no warning whatsoever.

Really something to smile about!

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Quick quiz: The people in these photos are smiling because they got tickets to…

a) A $40 million lottery

b) A dinner with President Barack Obama

c) A private audience with the pope

d) A memorial service

Yeah, surprisingly, it’s the memorial service thing.

I guess this finally explains that old expression, “as happy as a guy going to a memorial service.”