Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Quick quiz: Prince Charles’ wife, Camilla, is seen here reacting violently upon learning…
a) The guy who “married” them was not an actor, but was in fact a real clergyman
b) “Duchess of Cornwall” is just sort of a sarcastic title
c) Her neighbor’s dog is sending her messages again
d) Their supposed two-hour stopover in Canada is actually an 11-day visit
Here’s a tip for readers who are easily confused. Please note our actual caption, below, indicates that the duchess is on the LEFT in this two-person photo, and is not the one in a dark suit holding an umbrella. I know, it surprised me, too.
Camilla the Duchess of Cornwall (L) reacts as she waits for her husband Prince Charles to fire the gun on the HMCS Haida in Hamilton, Ontario, November 5, 2009. Prince Charles and Camilla are currently on an 11-day tour of Canada. REUTERS/ Fred Thornhill
get plenty of sleep
think soothing, happy thoughts
enjoy a refreshing alcoholic beverage
Yeah, I thought that last one was pretty lame myself, but it turns out a politician from Ireland’s governing party has said “jumpy” drivers might benefit from having a relaxing alcoholic drink to steady their nerves.
a) The risk of letting tall people browse in light fixture shops
b) What happens when a dimwitted assistant is told to create a “bandolier.”
c) A woman who has begun the controversial medical procedure to turn herself into a 1991 Cadillac Fleetwood
a) illustrating how his new death panels will work.
b) abruptly ending a promising political career.
c) pretending to be Luke Skywalker, like every other guy on earth.
d) about to provoke the Secret Service marksmen on the White House roof.
Actually, the best thing about these lawn fencing photos is first lady Michelle Obama’s expression. It’s perfect….
“Oh dear God, who gave a toy sword to that fool? Honey, come over here, I need to talk to you for a minute about dinner! It’s IMPORTANT, sweetie-pie!”
Quick quiz: In this photo on the right, President Obama is saying to the Kroger manager…
“Five bucks for clementines? I pay $3.99 at the Safeway near the White House!
“What the frick is a clementine?”
“Do you sell these things in heavy syrup in a can?
“I’m thinkin’ of gettin’ these for my death panels. You know how many pounds it takes to kill a really old person?”
Actually, the most interesting thing that happened at that Kroger visit was when Obama took a piece of fruit and ate it in front of everybody. The White House said he paid for it “seconds later.”
b) Rehearsing for a production of “Oklahoma” at a men’s penitentiary
c) Still trying to get the hang of a wheelbarrow race
d) Attending that annual Siamese twin convention in Raleigh
e) They’re doing – oh, PLEASE don’t make me say it here!
Quick quiz: If you have a meal in The Gulf region and can’t quite place the distinctive, piquant, exotic flavor, it’s most likely…
a) Amba, a savory mango pickle condiment
b) Cardamom seeds mixed with cumin
c) Mahlab, made from the St.Lucie Cherry
d) About 30 pounds of desert sand embedded at high speed during the cooking process
Quick quiz: The most horrific road hazard faced by Tour de France riders is…
b) oncoming 18-wheelers
c) rabid leg-eating wolverines
d) blatant accordion music
Yes, all other hazards pale by comparison to the shameless accordion players, who can step out of the tall grass with no warning whatsoever.
Quick quiz: The people in these photos are smiling because they got tickets to…
a) A $40 million lottery
b) A dinner with President Barack Obama
c) A private audience with the pope
d) A memorial service
Yeah, surprisingly, it’s the memorial service thing.
I guess this finally explains that old expression, “as happy as a guy going to a memorial service.”