Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
I mean, I don’t care how much marble and mood lighting and fresh-cut flowers you have, it’s still a place where we all know why we’re there, and it isn’t to scarf truffles. Tara Joseph-Hui reports:
Quick quiz: this model’s hair…
a) was styled by the Dairy Queen Frozen Custard All Night Hair Salon
b) helped make her Europe’s number one Marie Antoinette tribute artist
c) was swirled into this shape by the updraft from a passing gyrocopter
d) was the result of being sucked into a cotton candy machine at the Indiana State Fair
A model displays a creation by Japanese designer Eri Utsugi for the “mercibeaucoup,” Spring/Summer 2008 collection during Japan Fashion Week in Tokyo August 30, 2007. REUTERS/Yuriko Nakao
Quick quiz: mayonnaise is a common ingredient in…
a) a margarita cocktail
Sorry, this was sort of a trick question. We’ll accept “none of the above” if you’re a regular human being, or “all of the above” if you’re a “mayoler” – a mayonnaise-obsessed fanatic in Japan. So, settle back, mix yourself up a very dry “mayotini,” dunk your doughnut in a family-size jar of Hellmann’s, and read Yoko Nishikawa’s report:
“Mayoty Dog”, which tastes like the vodka-based cocktail Salty Dog but is served in a glass with mayonnaise on its rim instead of salt, is pictured at the “Mayonnaise Kitchen” restaurant in western Tokyo, August 9, 2007. REUTERS/Michael Caronna
Quick quiz: You meet this guy at a party, and his first words are likely to be…
“How did you cope with the power blackout? I myself had many problems.”
“They tell me this hat pulls the whole outfit together…”
“Help me get my $20 million out of Belgium, and we can split it.”
“Well, to be honest, I don’t know why I walk at a 45-degree angle.”
Quick quiz: A great compliment when a woman reaches 50 is…
a) Gosh, you look just like Sharon Stone
b) Gosh, you look just like Glen Close
c) Gosh, you look just like Diane Keaton
d) Gosh, you look just like Mao Zedong
Meet Chen Yan, a 51-year-old woman who looks and acts remarkably like Chairman Mao, the Chinese leader in the portrait (left) who died in 1976. Naturally, she’s trying to figure out how to make herself some money out of that. She has movies in mind, but how many Mao flicks the world needs is anybody’s guess.
Quick quiz: the chief entertainment for Belarussian soldiers is…
a) Surfing the Internet for amusing Belarussian sites
b) Checking out Baywatch reruns on cable tv in the barracks
c) Smashing flaming blocks of concrete with their heads
Unfortunately, c) appears to be the correct answer, which explains why if you’re watching a multinational military operation, the Belarussian soldiers will be the ones with no facial hair, a dazed look on their faces, and the faint aroma of charcoal starter.
Fearful that Helen Duncan could see the future and might disclose top-secret military plans, the British government threw her in jail for witchcraft. The year was a) 1624, b) 1628, c) 1944.
The correct answer is 1944, and you probably got that wrong. Let’s try again. An embarrassed government pardoned Duncan in a) 1946, b) 1950, c) never.
True or false?
1) It’s fine to stub your cigarette out on a used dinner plate
2) The back of a taxi is a great place for a one-night stand
3) If you want to go topless, just whip off your bikini and set an example
If you answered false to all of these, you may be more refined than you thought. Debrett’s, the bible of blue-blooded behavior in Britain, is now supplying etiquette advice in these areas, with a new book offering guidance on adultery, toplessness, smoking and other stuff that otherwise classy women might be confused about.