Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

After Total Recall, time for a fling?

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Blog Guy, recently you did an item about a lot of consumer products recalled in a short period.  Were you trying to scare us?

No! Whatever made you think that?

The headline on it was, Attention! Everything has been recalled!

Oh, right. You mean the post about recent recalls of cantaloupe, lettuce, candy, ice cream, pine nuts, prawns, soy burgers, kale chips, spinach, eggs, tuna, cars, motorcycles, gas range tops, recliner chairs…

Yes, that’s the one. So just to show that things aren’t always that bad, why don’t you check and see what’s been recalled so far in November.

Well, this week there was that chunky peanut butter recall from 24 states and the District of Columbia.

We’ll always, always, always have Paris…

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Blog Guy, it’s been TWO WEEKS since you’ve shown us fresh pictures of Paris Hilton! Are there no cameras left for her to stand in front of? Is something wrong? Should we prepare for bad news?

Calm down, she’s still posing. Here she is at the opening of a shopping center this week, in Poland.

Where in the world is Paris Hilton?

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Blog Guy, I’m worried sick! It’s been four days since we left Paris Hilton promoting her shoes in Istanbul, and we’ve heard nothing from her. I’m going to start checking the hospitals.

I’m sorry, I should have told your earlier. She’s fine, she’s just in India now, promoting her new line of handbags and accessories. Here she is, above, at a news conference.

Store-wide sale, everything must go!

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Lamar, can I see you in my office?

Sure Boss, what’s up?

Uh, when I asked you to set up a designer dress shop, I had something a little different in mind. I count four dresses here. That’s it.

Too many, Boss? I gotcha, keep the customers wanting more. We’ll move half of them back to the storeroom.

The VERY WORST new retail trend?

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There is a retail trend that seems to be spreading and we need to stamp it out now, before it gets out of control. I’m talking about a store that offers free stuff to people who show up to shop in their underwear. Here are several examples, including one from just last week.

So far, this strategy has been confined to just a few clothing stores, but that doesn’t mean it won’t catch on, and soon we’ll all be wearing nothing but underwear when we go shopping for anything. Who needs that?