Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
After Total Recall, time for a fling?
Blog Guy, recently you did an item about a lot of consumer products recalled in a short period. Were you trying to scare us?
No! Whatever made you think that?
The headline on it was, Attention! Everything has been recalled!
Oh, right. You mean the post about recent recalls of cantaloupe, lettuce, candy, ice cream, pine nuts, prawns, soy burgers, kale chips, spinach, eggs, tuna, cars, motorcycles, gas range tops, recliner chairs…
Yes, that’s the one. So just to show that things aren’t always that bad, why don’t you check and see what’s been recalled so far in November.
Well, this week there was that chunky peanut butter recall from 24 states and the District of Columbia.
We’ll always, always, always have Paris…
Blog Guy, it’s been TWO WEEKS since you’ve shown us fresh pictures of Paris Hilton! Are there no cameras left for her to stand in front of? Is something wrong? Should we prepare for bad news?
Calm down, she’s still posing. Here she is at the opening of a shopping center this week, in Poland.
Excuse me? She’s at that level now, going to Polish strip mall openings? What’s that about?
As I understand it, she was supposed to cut the ribbon on the new meat department at a Piggly Wiggly down in Baton Rouge, but that fell through, so she needed something to do.
Ah, that makes sense. I notice in her arrival shot she doesn’t even have an elevator to ride. Is this her choice?
Yes, she prefers to arrive this way. Her contract has an escalator clause…
Where in the world is Paris Hilton?
Blog Guy, I’m worried sick! It’s been four days since we left Paris Hilton promoting her shoes in Istanbul, and we’ve heard nothing from her. I’m going to start checking the hospitals.
I’m sorry, I should have told your earlier. She’s fine, she’s just in India now, promoting her new line of handbags and accessories. Here she is, above, at a news conference.
Whew! That’s quite a relief. What with her being one of the 10 most hated people in America, I fear for her safety.
I guess maybe she’s going overseas a lot these days so folks in other countries can learn to feel the same about her.
Does she seem okay to you? Did she do all her poses? The vacuous smile, the peace sign, the peering over her sunglasses?
She sure did.
@Nosmo, “But these Giant Panda cubs, napping peacefully in their nursery, have a far more important role to play.”
Dude I got chills.
I can’t read this blog until those pictures of Paris Hilton recieve the proper application of the MS Paint rectangles. Those photos are much more damaging than beer babe cleavage.
Store-wide sale, everything must go!
Lamar, can I see you in my office?
Uh, when I asked you to set up a designer dress shop, I had something a little different in mind. I count four dresses here. That’s it.
Too many, Boss? I gotcha, keep the customers wanting more. We’ll move half of them back to the storeroom.
There IS no storeroom, you imbecile! You’ve got four dresses, all the same size, hanging in our only room! What the hell are those brown cartons, Lamar?
Accessories, I suppose, but we’d have to open them to find out, and the clerk is on a break.
I think dogs are my best friends…
No matter what, they are always always pleased to see me..
even if I am grumpy as heck, all they need to do to make me squeal with laughter is drag their big sloppy, stinky tongue over my face.
Diamonds, pretty to look at, cost way too much, all anxious that they could be stolen…
too much hassle with diamonds I say..
The VERY WORST new retail trend?
There is a retail trend that seems to be spreading and we need to stamp it out now, before it gets out of control. I’m talking about a store that offers free stuff to people who show up to shop in their underwear. Here are several examples, including one from just last week.
So far, this strategy has been confined to just a few clothing stores, but that doesn’t mean it won’t catch on, and soon we’ll all be wearing nothing but underwear when we go shopping for anything. Who needs that?
“Earl, here’s the grocery list. Hey, hotshot, aren’t you forgetting something?”
“Oh crap, I’m wearing a shirt and trousers! What was I thinking? Here we go, I’m down to only my briefs now, sweetie. Thanks for spotting that.”
“Don’t forget to hit the drugstore for your hemorrhoid cream, Earl. And pick up some bleach. I guess I should try to get your underpants cleaner, now that everybody can see them.”
“I’ll say! And remember we’re test driving new cars this afternoon. I’m not looking forward to my sweaty back sticking to those hot leather seats!”
Malt, only in the depths of winter when it’s minus 10, and hell no !
-
Resident Oddly Enough blog Expert
-
Are you implying that we dont work while commenting on the blog, Malt? Are you calling us lazy workers? Are you implying that we sit on our bums the whole day, dont work and just comment on the blog?
Are you? ARE YOU?