Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Best of May: stormy weather and bygone romance

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It’s time for the official statistics revealing this blog’s most popular items for May, and I’m proud to note that readers didn’t just go for cheap yuks, they went for the high-class stuff, too.

CANADA/Like for instance, my hard-hitting piece on the Census folks’ search for secret apartment houses, and the one about increasing food supply by growing rice in brassieres.

They enjoyed our etiquette tips on dining out with the boss, which I imagine were useful to anyone raised by wolves.

Readers also showed an interest in our neighbor to the north, reading about such Canadian traditions as poutine-eating and shop-looting.

I’m running down to the love market, Honey!

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Here is a story idea which Hollywood is going to buy from me for maybe four million dollars, so don’t tell anyone else.

These are ethnic Hmong people waiting for lovers at a “love market” in Vietnam. The captions say that on one day a year, ”married men and women wait for the return of their former lovers with whom they can meet again without jealousy from their spouses…”

Chicks taking their coiffe medicine?

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hairstyles top this 490

Blog Guy, I have a problem. I’m a very attractive woman and people tell me my hair is one of my best features.

hairstyles vertical combo this 240But whenever I get a new hairstyle, my boyfriend doesn’t even notice! How can I get his attention?

I think she wrote her own vows, too…

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Blog Guy, I’m getting married next Saturday, and I could use some advice in choosing my bridal gown.

fashion bride face 240Sure. Congratulations on the happy event! In selecting your gown, you should think about what message you want to send to your gathered loved ones, because that’s what the perfect wedding dress does.

I’m ready Lamar, go have that pork chop now!

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Warning, this is an adults-only scene. It’s evening in the boudoir, a woman is wearing a black satin nightie and red stiletto heels, there’s chilled champagne beside the bed…

“Are you as turned-on as I am, Lamar?” pork viagra combo 490

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“I sure am, Sweetheart!”

“Then go eat that ham sandwich and have your porky-porky way with me!”

A date with Paris Hilton? Thumb enchanted evening…

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Blog Guy, I was interested in your item about that tycoon in Austria who dates famous celebrities. What do you think it would be like to go out with Paris Hilton?

Well, I’ve already blogged about my own date with Paris…

paris cell 180Yeah, that was sad. As I recall, she fell asleep and tore her own face off. But I mean, say a real guy took her to dinner or a concert or something, how would you know if she’s enjoying herself?

Why, it was so cold that….

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kissing couple prague 490

Blog Guy, you seem irritated today. What’s up?

kissing couple prague crop 200Well, it’s here again, that time of year for those photos I hate, of bozos going swimming in icy bodies of water amid sub-zero temperatures and snowstorms.

We take thousand of those shots every winter, showing folks with chattering teeth, blue lips and pointy frozen snot-cicles hanging from their noses.

Steamy ski hostesses shower on the slopes!

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I don’t know. I just can’t figure out what’s happening here. The caption just tells us we’re seeing “hostesses” simulating a shower during a “promotional event for a dating Website.”

Well crap, I’ve been skiing and I haven’t seen women showering at the top of the mountain. Can I get my money back? This must be the place where Hef skis.

Who’s that leeched blonde over there?

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Blog Guy, you’re an expert at fashion and beauty advice. I really need help attracting men. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I’m an attractive blue-eyed blonde, I accessorize tastefully, I…

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Let me stop you there for a minute, honey. There’s a freaking worm crawling across your face!

A spike in designer sales?

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Blog Guy, I need some dating fashion advice.

I’m a normal young woman, and I often find that on a first date with a guy I meet online, he only has one thing on his mind, if you catch my drift.

What I’m looking for is an outfit to wear that is attractive and shows I’m fun, but also sends the message that we should take it slow, if you catch my drift.