Oddly Enough Blog

I’m calling this ring Mini Pearl!

May 26, 2009

From Switzerland comes news that a Hong Kong tycoon who bought a flawless blue diamond for a record $9.5 million has now named it the “Star of Josephine.”************I’m not sure why this is important. Naming jewelry is no big deal. For years, my wife has been naming the tokens of affection I’ve given her on romantic occasions.******It started with her engagement ring, an admittedly very modest ruby which she christened the Dinky Pinky.******Soon, the Dinkster was joined by a diamond named Mr. Chips, followed by a pearl she calls, well, Poor Pitiful Pearl.******These adornments now share space in her jewelry box alongside El Shrimpo, Mr. Measly and Li’l Sapphire. Last Christmas, they were joined by Pretty Boy Flawed. So take that, Josephine!***

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Run! It’s Señor Zorro the Pig!

May 25, 2009

Hang on just a dad-gum minute there, Blog Guy!

What’s wrong, stranger who talks just like Jed Clampett?

You had a purty good sign of the Apocalypse a couple days back, but I reckon you overlooked a better one. I saw some Reuters photos of…

You had garlic bread for breakfast, didn’t you?

May 21, 2009

Quick quiz: Well-to-do socialite Paris Hilton and this guy here are…

    Discussing if they can get to the bar in time for Wednesday night $1 margaritas. Singing that Captain and Tenille hit, “Muskrat Love.” Shooting a mouthwash ad that will only be seen in Japan. Flirting shamelessly; She’s saying, “I’ve done hard time, big boy, that changes a girl!” and he’s saying, “You’re a socialite? So you think the government should own everything?”

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“You may now kiss the bride.” “No thanks.”

May 18, 2009

Blog Guy, I’m planning a June wedding and I’d like it to have a sophisticated feel. Are there any foreign wedding customs we might want to use?

Dressing the swine for the flu?

May 5, 2009

Lots of guys have written in asking me how they should dress during a flu pandemic, if we have one.

To bee or not to bee?

May 1, 2009

Blog Guy, I was interested in the item you had with the dude dressed like an angel to pick up hot chicks. I think that’s what I need, some kind of a new gimmick.

Gumby, my pliant giant!

April 1, 2009

Blog Guy, I’m the happiest woman in the world! I’m engaged to marry Gumby! But I can’t seem to find an appropriate bridal gown. Can you help?

Honey, will you marry… Ewwwww!

March 22, 2009

So now they’re selling a diamond and gold-leaf “carat cake” as a $2,500 gift for guys to give when they propose marriage. I see disaster ahead.

So she’s in a stable relationship?

February 4, 2009

“Melanie, would you just look at that! Can you BELIEVE the trash they’ve invited to this party? Makes me so damn mad!

Last tango in Hyderabad…

December 18, 2008

Blog Guy, I’m a man who LOVES ballroom dancing. I’m taking a trip to India, and I wondered where I might enjoy an elegant evening over there?