Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Blog Guy, I need your travel advice. I’m planning a trip to the Taj Mahal.
Sure. Which one?
Well, there’s the old one in India, and then there’s a brand new $60 million replica in Bangladesh. It’s about 800 miles from the old, worn-out one.
I thought there was just the one. Which do you recommend?
I’ve only personally seen the India one. But it’s 400 years old, so I have to assume this new one is better. You know, probably has digital special effects, better snacks and restrooms…
You seem like a real idiot! Would you rather go to a NEW Great Wall of China, too?
Sure! The new one, in Minnesota, is awesome! The Saint Paul Wall! Now, can I interest you in the new Stonehenge, in Tampa?
Quick quiz: Which wedding tradition never really caught on very well in the U.S.?
a) throwing the bouquet
b) making everybody do the Chicken Dance
c) taking 420,000 pictures you’ll never look at
d) having the bride pour oil over live coals
That’s right, the oil and coal tradition just hasn’t been embraced here, despite its enduring popularity in places like Kazakhstan and, well, Kazakhstan.
A few weeks ago I had a very popular item about this guy in Nigeria who had 86 wives and was ordered to divorce all but four of them. You may recall it as I wish to file for 82 divorces, please.
Judging from the blog traffic I got, people seem to be pretty darned interested once a guy goes past, say, a couple dozen wives.
Sure, as the groom, you may have cold feet, it’s only natural. Like maybe you’re afraid to take the plunge because oh, let’s just say for instance you remembered you’re already married to someone else.
So on the morning of the wedding you go talk reasonably to your bride-to-be, or her parents, or your clergyman, right?
Blog Guy, my dream is to be a book cover model for Harlequin historical romances. But if you have to bring your own wardrobe, I don’t know where to get the right stuff. Can you help?
Sure. I know about this because my sister does the same thing. She modeled for the covers of such historical romance classics as “Taming of the Pioneer Wagon Girl,” “Donner Party Seductress” and “Harlot at the OK Corral.”
Note to fashion design staff: Every so often we need to remember that haute couture is about raw animal sexuality. It’s about a woman feeling desirable, about giving her the confidence to think, ”Hey, I’ll never look HOTTER than I do tonight!”
Take the Pierre Cardin number shown here. When this woman shows up in this sizzling outfit, jaws will drop and every man in the room will want to take her home.
Blog Guy, I was supposed to be married, but my fiancé stood me up at the altar and took off with my best friend. What can I do to express my anger?
Fortunately, you no longer need to suffer in silence when you’re “jilt to the hilt,” thanks to a fashion creation called the Veil of Tears.
I honestly don’t know why we worry so much about protecting morons from themselves. Now there is a holiday list of the top 10 worst gifts for new relationships.
By using this list, a guy can learn that giving lingerie, gym equipment or a puppy to some woman he barely knows is not a good idea. But if he is that stupid, isn’t it better for the chick to find out right away? The list also warns not to give a ring, which is too personal, or a kitchen appliance, which isn’t personal enough… No kidding?
It seems in their case, the marriage lasted until the honeymoon was over. A peek at Anderson’s diary shows that the couple got married at least three times since July, with entries from the actress such as “The honeymoon won’t stop.” But then, yesterday’s awful diary entry: “Divorce. Yes, it’s true. Unfortunately impossible.”