Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Not that duchess, the udder one…

Photo
-

Blog Guy, it’s me. I’m back and I need a fix. You’re the one who got me hooked.

Hooked? Oh, you mean….

That’s right, I need fresh pictures of a certain duchess, if you catch my meaning.

I do indeed. Feast your eyes on Chris “The Duchess” Walton, and her world record fingernails, more than 10 feet long on her left hand alone….

Are you insane, Blog Guy? Don’t play dumb with me. Does the phrase “royal wedding” jog your memory?

Class, get out your rulers…

Photo
-

Blog Guy, I’ve heard that the British Royal Family isn’t very well educated. That’s hard to believe, what with being the land of Shakespeare and everything.

Well, it turns out that when you spend all day changing into different costumes and hats and jewelry and stuff, your education can be neglected.

Duchess, the sun never sets on the British vampire…

Photo
-

I’ll admit I was skeptical when I saw photos of the cast of yet another TV movie about Prince William and Kate Middleton. Did we really need this? I mean, I guess maybe if they found a dead ringer to play Kate… Nope, that’s not it…

Let’s see, according to IMDB, the movie was shot in ROMANIA? Huh? Well, that’s different. Now I get it! These clever folks have added an element of horror to the story:

Mystery brunette with Prince William?

Photo
-

Blog Guy, I’m confused. I was walking past a toy shop in London and I saw a doll that looked like Prince William.

He was packaged with a female doll dressed as a bride. She looked vaguely familiar, but I couldn’t place her.

Presenting the Caribou Smoker Royale!

Photo
-

Blog Guy, you’ve been very good about helping us find solutions to those tough household chores in the past, and I have some more questions.

Gosh, all I ever really do is point you in the direction of expensive Williams-Sonoma gadgets.

‘Tis the season to be Charlie….

Photo
-

Blog Guy, you used to give us a lot more news about what those British people are up to, what with the royal wedding and everything. How about an update?

Well, they’re up to their knickers in celebrating Christmas now, of course, and they…

Staying longer with a monger?

Photo
-

Blog Guy, it seemed to me that Britain’s Prince William and Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, really had to do some silly stuff on their long trip to Canada.

I mean, cowboy hats, a stagecoach, canoes, stuff like that.

Don’t worry about William and Catherine. At least they managed to avoid visiting fishmongers, which is the worst royal duty there is.

Duchess? It has a certain ring to it…

Photo
-

 

Blog Guy, thanks for all your coverage of the royal visit by Britain’s Prince William and Catherine, the Duchess of Cambridge. I guess it served its purpose, to raise their profile, huh?

Oh grow up. You think this visit was about them? The Brits have the single most famous piece of jewelry on earth, Catherine’s 18-carat sapphire and diamond ring, and they want to make sure it keeps circulating.

The stage is comin’ with a duchess on it!

Photo
-

Crap, Willy, what now? What is this thing taking us into town?

It’s a stagecoach, Duchess! Great, huh?  Conestoga wagon, prairie schooner, buckboard…

Shut up. They don’t have big limousines in Calgary?

Not so much, I guess.

Sigh. What’s on our schedule for day number 840 in Canada?

Uh, let’s see. Hey, it looks like we’re taking part in some kind of a Village People retrospective…

I can fix this one up real good, Duchess!

Photo
-

Blog Guy, I know you have close ties to Britain’s royal family, so maybe you can answer a question. Why are Prince William and Catherine, the Duchess of Cambridge, spending so much time in Canada?

I’m really not supposed to say.

Look, we’ve been through this before. If you put it in your blog, nobody will even see it.