Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

How much can one duchess take?

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Blog Guy, you wrote about Prince William and Catherine, the Duchess of Cambridge, watching a bagpiper a few days ago during their visit to Canada.

From what I’ve seen, they are being subjected to a lot of that.

Very true, and nobody has studied the effects of prolonged bagpipe exposure on normal people. In this photo above, taken yesterday, it appears Catherine is starting to crack.

Remember, as a commoner, she hasn’t built up a bagpipe immunity like some of the royals have.

It seems like a very cruel punishment, I must say.

I guess it’s the price you pay to get free food and wear above-average jewelry.

Cooking with Catherine: The Barefoot Duchess?

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Blog Guy, thanks for finally giving us some coverage of William and Catherine’s royal tour of Canada. We want more!

Well, Catherine did a cooking workshop at the Institut de tourisme et d’hotellerie du Quebec, in Montreal.

We’ve got fresh Kate, direct from Canada!

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Blog Guy, I have a complaint. Kate Middleton has been in Canada for several days now and you’ve written nothing about it, even though some of your readers are seriously addicted to her.

Look, I no longer actually cover stories, but I’m a professional, so I can wing it by looking at our photo file. Here you go.

How the rich and powerful keep fit

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Blog Guy, as someone who hangs out with the power elite, can you tell me how they manage to stay in shape? I mean, they must get free food anytime they want, so how do they cope with all that?

Good question. Powerful people usually hire other powerful people as their personal trainers.

Michelle, it’s time for a royal goof-o-rama!

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“So here we are, sweetie, we’re about to meet the Queen of England.”

“Pretty cool, Barack. I’ll bet you fifty bucks you don’t have the guts to make a goofy face at her.”

When life is just a beer commercial…

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Advertising staff, today we’re here to honor Lamar, whose work on the Guinness Stout account has been pure genius!

Gosh, thanks, Boss. You’re much too kind…

Not at all, Lamar. Who would have thought you could get photos of Barack and Michelle Obama, Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip boldly showing Guinness Stout, all in less than a week?

Then the queen says to this fishmonger…

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I say, my good man, are you the local fishmonger?

You’ve come to the right plaice, your majesty. I’m the o-fish-al monger!

Well, I must say, there is a vile odor here!

You smelt something bad? Say, did you come to carp, or are you here just for the halibut? Get it? Halibut? I got a million of ‘em!

Could this be how they tracked Osama?

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Blog Guy, you’re the only one I trust to come up with the real story on how they got Osama bin Laden. There has to be more to it than merely a decade of meticulous hard work by the military and intelligence agencies.

I can’t talk about it. It’s too sensitive.

Come on, Blog Guy. Look, I wouldn’t be online if I couldn’t keep a secret, and we’ve already established that it’s safe to put it in your blog, since nobody looks here.

There’s got to be a morning after…

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Blog Guy, it’s me again. That guy you got hooked on Kate Middleton pictures. What do you have for me today?

Are you serious? We gave you 62,000 photos of her yesterday. Give the woman some peace. Give me some peace, too.

That’s what a royal wedding looks like

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Okay, I know when I’ve lost. I had planned to avoid doing anything on the Big Event today because why should my blog look like all the rest?

But many readers have said they couldn’t find stuff about the wedding anywhere else, and they’ve begged me for fresh pictures and details, so I guess I’ll have to pander just a bit.