Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

If you run out of REAL wedding news…

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Blog Guy, that royal wedding is getting really close now, so how about some more of your expertise? I believe you mentioned a royal carriage would be used for Prince William and Kate?

Absolutely, and here you can see the regal vehicle, with the royal couple riding around in it for practice.

Gosh, I thought if might be a little nicer.

These things are never quite as majestic as we imagine them, are they?

Who’s that baby in the carriage with them?

What do I look like, a fricking genealogist?

Ouch! Okay what about jewelry for the event? I suppose we’ll see the Crown Jewels in all their glory?

You bet! Here are some royals being fitted for the regalia that will adorn them at the wedding. I believe that necklace is the royal…

In a jam with the royal ma’am?

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Blog Guy, you have to help me. That royal wedding is in two days, and I don’t know how to act around the queen! Our invite hasn’t arrived yet, but we live in rural Indiana, and mail takes a while to get here.

Um, could you even get from Indiana to England in time?

I think we could if we went first class, which I believe goes faster.

Ah, of course. Well, you’re in luck. We’ve just run yet another etiquette piece, specifically advising lower class losers on how to behave around royalty.

Unstabled threat at royal wedding?

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BRITAIN-WEDDING/

So Blog Guy, I don’t understand why you’re devoting so much time to that wedding with Kate Middleton and that guy she’s marrying. It doesn’t seem like your kind of thing.

BRITAIN/It wasn’t, but now it is. Let’s just say maybe I think it’s going to be more eventful than some folks expect.

The Clampetts are here, Your Majesty…

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BRITAIN/

It turns out when Kate Middleton marries Britain’s Prince William in a couple of weeks, her family is going to stay someplace called the Goring Hotel while they are in London. It may be part of the Econo Lodge chain, but I could be wrong.

BRITAIN/These photos above and below show where William’s family lives, and on the right you can see the itty-bitty place where the Middletons will be.

A fresh supply of Kate hits the streets…

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BRITAIN/

Blog Guy, it’s me. One of the junkies you got hooked on Prince William’s fiancée, Kate Middleton.

kate tape this 300There’s word going around the streets that a fresh supply of Kate photos has been smuggled in, maybe from Mexico…

Drinking in bed, in an ocean of red…

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IWINE-ITALY/

Blog Guy, what happened? You kind of left us hanging. You were about to crown a new Queen of the Entire World a couple of weeks ago, and it was down to two candidates.

queen new vertical 240Remember? One was in a giant feathered headdress and the other was just back from the longest Ash Wednesday service in history.

Life can be a royal pane?

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BRITAIN/

Blog Guy, I know you must have a lot of inside information about the upcoming royal wedding between Prince William and Kate Middleton. The security around them must be incredible. Where could they possibly be finding privacy? Do you know?

kate window 260Yes, but I’m not sure how to tell you without also leaking it to a lot of other people.

The best TV crime show on the heir?

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crime queen this 490

Okay, you know why we’re here. We owe the network one more high-concept police procedural to match our earlier hits, “Police Pope” and “Monkey See, Monkey Blue.”

crime queen 240So who’s got an idea for us to pitch? Lamar?

Well Boss, the public just can’t get enough of those crime scene  forensic science shows.

Earn big money with a familiar face?

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BRITAIN/

Blog Guy, I notice you wrote about a Joe DiMaggio lookalike yesterday.

The lookalike game intrigues me. Can you provide some details, so I can see if I might want to pursue a career at that?

faux wedding vertical 220Sure, but who do you look like?

Me? Nobody yet, but I figured I’d take some courses or something.

Well, I think it helps if nature gives you a head start.

Like see, the people in these photos here look like Prince William and his fiancée, Kate Middleton, so they’re in for a great ride, eating free fried chicken at places that comp meals for members of the royal family.

Shape up with our new regal regimen!

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BRITAIN/

Man, I gotta say, that was just creepy!

queen gym vertical 100What was, Lamar?

Are you kidding, Clancy? You didn’t see who was just here?

No, I was watching that Lady Gaga video on the big screen. Who was it?

Queen Elizabeth.

She was NOT!

Was too!

That IS strange. I don’t think she’s even a member here! What did she do?

She told me this machine is “jolly good for one’s quadriceps.”