Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

The King’s playin’ with his crotch again

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Blog Guy, you seem to read a lot of history. I guess that’s to take your mind off the goofy stuff you see every day?

Are you kidding? History books are where I GET my goofiest stuff.  I find myself laughing out loud as I picture things I read. In his biography of William Shakespeare, author Bill Bryson tells us that King James I “was graceless in motion, with a strange lurching gait, and had a disconcerting habit, indulged more or less constantly, of playing with his codpiece.”

Think about that. A King of England who was known for walking like a zombie and fiddling with his crotch pouch in public.

Then there’s John Wilkes Booth, the man who killed President Lincoln. According to “Manhunt: the 12-day Chase for Lincoln’s Killer,” when Booth was injured and on the run after the assassination, he was turned away from the home of a Southern doctor.

Hey, I never said I’m proud of myself!

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Blog Guy, I’ve just started a new blog, and I could use some advice from a veteran like yourself. What do you do if you want to get a lot of traffic, but you don’t want to work very hard for it?

That’s called cheap pandering to readers with click-bait, and blogging professionals don’t do it.

How about a greasy kebab, Your Majesty?

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Blog Guy, I see Britain’s Queen Elizabeth just spent 11 days visiting Australia. That must be a huge logistical undertaking involving thousands of aides, security folks, drivers….

Nothing could be further from the truth. The queen is remarkably self-reliant, and instructed her staff “not to make a fuss over me.”

Say “I’ll be back,” Duchess….

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Blog Guy, it’s me, the one you got hooked on pictures of Catherine, the Duchess of Cambridge.

I’ve told you, I got a lot of people hooked on her, with my “first one’s always free” policy.

Meet the Duchess of Holiday Weekends

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Blog Guy, it’s me, the guy you got hooked on photos of that duchess

I guess that narrows it down to about nine million guys.

I need fresh pictures, but the last time I asked, you gave me a duchess made of butter and a chick with gross fingernails. So this time, I’ll be clearer.

No names, please.

Okay, um, she’s a duchess, she got married recently and she’s a member of a royal family… Is that enough for you to go on?