Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Hang on, we’re goin’ over a bump!

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LIBYA/

Blog Guy, you’ve written a lot about those Government Death Panels. I was wondering, do they have special vehicles I should watch for in case they stop at my house?

Some do, but most of them just travel in their own cars and put in for mileage.

LIBYA/Then how do they carry the weapons they use in their job?

Well, you can hang on to them from the window of a sedan, or if you have rifles you can stick them out the sunroof, er, gun roof.

Wow, so those panels really are a reality now, just like Sarah Palin warned. I suppose I should think about what my very last words will be. Any suggestions?

Sure. How about, “Hang on to that rocket launcher, Lonnie, I’m pullin’ into this gas station…”

The very worst Palin photo ever?

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Blog Guy, I notice you keep using the same goofy photo of Sarah Palin, that one from the Belmont last year. Is that the only funny shot you have of her?

No, I just got a new one, and as you can see here, it’s even better.

palin 340OMG! She must be a very good sport! Gorgeous women usually aren’t willing to have their picture taken looking so grotesque. Some of them would hold a grudge and come after you.

That’s like a quarter of a million, isn’t it?

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SPAIN/

Blog Guy, you’re looking positively jubilant today. Why are you rejoicing?

I’ve made the big time. My blog’s Facebook Network hit 25,000 members yesterday.

Where do Republican kids live, anyway?

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PALIN-ARIZONA/

Johnson, get in my office! I need to talk to you!

Oh no, Boss, what did I do wrong now?

TELEVISION-DANCING/Nothing. I have a great assignment for you. We’re gonna do a whole photo series called, “Republican 2012 presidential contenders: Where the heck do their kids live, anyway?”

Er, really, Boss? I mean it’s a very catchy title, but do you think readers care that much about it?

Mr. Custer, a Death Panel wants to see us

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Blog Guy, I continue to be impressed that you’re the only blogger giving us comprehensive coverage of those U.S. Government Death Panels that Sarah Palin warned us would be part of health care reform.

mexico army vertical 240I do have a question for you. This is a fairly recent concept, right?

Far from it. Death Panels to relieve suffering are an old idea. A number of countries have tried them.

Hi, we’re the Death Panel! Is now a good time?

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CHINA/

Blog Guy, you’re the only journalist in the country who is seriously covering those Government Death Panels that Sarah Palin warned us about, which were created under health care reform. These things are evil and brutal, and I hope you get a Pulitzer for your work.

CHINA/Thanks, you’re much too kind. I do consider it a major  story. Did you have a question about the panels?

Sarah finally gets goofy!

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Blog Guy, I took my family to the Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop during our visit to Washington, and we loved it! But I wondered why you didn’t have any pictures of Sarah Palin on display. Are you anti-Republican?

goofy mccain 220Far from it.  Surely you noticed our prominent exhibit on Palin’s old running mate, Senator John McCain. The coffee mugs and t-shirts with McCain’s face are the best-selling items in our gift shop.

Top 100 reasons I’m not on the list…

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Blog Guy, have you seen the Time Magazine list of the 100 Most Influential People in the World? I’m surprised you’re not on it, you know, what with your blog, your Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop, your radio talk show, your tap-dance video….

time cover 240Don’t EVEN get me started on that! It turns out I was number 101!

Golly. To come SO close!

Tell me about it. I got the famous Time Magazine Consolation Letter:

“Dear Bob, we regret there wasn’t room for you on our Top 100 List because we had to include such household names as Dominique Strauss-KahnRecep Tayyip Erdogan, Sheik Khalifa bin Zayed al-Nahyan and Sandra Bullock.”

He must be quite a guy…

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You all know me, I’m not a judgmental kind of guy. But on some rare occasions I DO form strong opinions, and gosh darn it, if I’m not careful I’m afraid I’ll go after somebody with this pickle fork I’m holding.

What do I see on our photo file? Levi Johnston at TWO glitzy Los Angeles galas in one evening, including the GQ magazine “Men of the Year” party.

Palin leaves office with relish?

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What’s wrong, Blog Guy? I don’t understand!

Huh? You don’t understand what?

I’ve been seeing pictures of former governor Sarah Palin yesterday serving hot dogs as she left the governor’s job.  Isn’t that a natural for you? Why aren’t you all over it?

Oh, that. It’s just too obvious. Too easy. What would I even say?

Come on, straighten up, Mister! You’d say like, Sarah Palin’s wurst job? Or look at the buns on that governor? Or losers and wieners? Or I know, Sarah the Redhot Mama?